How to be strong enough to let go of what happened?

Irene - posted on 01/18/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, I lost my baby boy last April 2011. I was about 7 month pregnant. I dealt with it pretty well for several months until 2 months ago. I started to feel like nothing is working right for me. My anxiety was ups and downs and I'm still suffering from it. I have times where I can control it and thought I'm getting better but then I get anxiety again. How can I be strong? I feel discouraged when I have anxiety that last for couple of days. I tried to take xanax and zoloft but I had terrible side effects. I was able to not taking anything for 1 1/2 months. My anxiety is strong right now. I wonder if I still have unfinished business with my baby. We cremated him and have his urn at the house. I have been distracting myself from finding him a proper burial site because I am very afraid to let him go. I guess I was not ready back then. Right now, I think I am. I wonder if this will help me heal and reduce my anxiety. Whenever my anxiety starts acting up, I always think of my baby boy. Any suggestions or comments are welcomed! Thank you for listening and I really appreciate your help!!

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April - posted on 06/18/2012

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Hi! First I am so sorry for your loss! I lost a little girl named Katlynn Marie at 6months! I have also lost 3 other children. I was finally able to have a little girl after 3 miscarragies and then we lost one after her. It has been over 10 years for the first and 3 years since the last miscarrage. There are still days I will cry my heart out for my lost babies. Burial might help, but it depends on you, just know that it is ok to be sad and it is ok to ask for help. Dont feel guilty about being upset it helps me when I get sad to just go somewhere by myself and cry as hard as I can sometimes it helps to get it out. I am lucky to have an awesome support system with my mother and my husband. Find you someone that can talk to you when you feel this way, you can message me anytime if you would like. Hope this helps some knowing someone else has gone through the same thing.

Mariah - posted on 02/01/2012

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I am so very sorry to hear that, but please know that youre not alone. I lost my beautiful daughter, Jazlyn, at 38 weeks just this past November... Some days are fine, I find myself laughing and living as normal as possible, but other days.... I can barely stand to get out of bed.... Its so hard to let go of someone you waited your whole life to meet. My doctor did warn me that the grief would relapse pretty hard around 6 months later... I wonder if that is what you've been experiencing?? I pray your heart heals the best it can.

-Mariah

Meredith - posted on 01/26/2012

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Hi Irene,

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarrige when I was 13 weeks so my sitauation was very different. I found it helpful to talk to others that had been through similar situations. I also read books about other's experiences and it made me feel better about how I was feeling. You are strong!!! You have been through a lot this past year. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs, Meredith