loosing two children HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MY SON WHEN HE GETS OLDER?

Brittany - posted on 09/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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hi im 22 years old i have had 3 children but i have lost two of them my son at 1 month and my daughter at 2 yrs, i still cry to this day knowing that my youngest child is still here and his brother and sister isn't.... i would jus like to kno or have any suggestions on how to cope with this and how am i goin to explain these pictures of his brothes and sister to him and why they are not here,

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Tanya - posted on 09/29/2010

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You should be as honest as possible. Explain what happend and that these things sometimes do happen and it is very sad and you still get sad sometimes. Share some good memories with him of his brother and sister. So this way they live on in your heart and in his. Good luck

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Megan - posted on 11/23/2010

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Just be honest. I also have lost 2 children but i lost them when i was pregnant. I only have pictures of my first son that i lost 5 years ago b/c he was a stillborn. My son Jacob was born in 2007 and he was 3 months preematurre but is now a healthy lil 3 year old. I found out i was pregnant in Sept 2010. and Found out the babies heart had stopped in Nov 2010. Jacob and I would count down the weeks together and when we went to the doctor and got the news it was hard to explain to him so all i could say was "no more baby". Later when he is older i will tell him that his Brother passed away so he could watch over him from heaven and as far as the one i just loss it will depend on if i get pregnant again and if i do i will tell him/her that the baby was also in heaven watching over him/her.

Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2010

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My children were 8 and 9 when my 5 year old daughter passed away, I just explained to them that she was so special God had to take care of her needs. We go to her grave and take balloons and sometimes they bring something special with them, poem, letter or stuffed animal, to leave with her.

Jayne - posted on 10/06/2010

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I have lost 2 babies and my little girl this year. I have 2 older boys as well who are 8 and 4 years. I found telling the truth was good for them. They then learn to trust you and no matter how bad anything in their life is they can talk to you about it. I also found books about our situation and read them to them. My youngest little boy just wanted to keep reading them over and over and this was fine. I still cry every time I read them but this experience will teach them a lot about emotions, death and empathy for others. They can be honest and open with me about their feelings now and in the future. Because I have been honest with them about how I feel. I have also listened to them and answered all their questions as they have asked them. Enjoy your little one.

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