I don't know if I should worry

Mayela - posted on 07/23/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My husband cheated a few months ago. we have been trying to work things out and things have gotten better, but I can't seem to "let it go". Do you still resent him for cheating?

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Sue - posted on 11/01/2009

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Quoting Mayela:

I don't know if I should worry

My husband cheated a few months ago. we have been trying to work things out and things have gotten better, but I can't seem to "let it go". Do you still resent him for cheating?



Its so normal to be resentful. Your resenting the fact that he betrayed you, that he turned to someone else, that he didnt tell you he was unhappy ... all kinds of reasons.  But men are so different from women. They need to be wanted, to feel wanted to feel special, to be the center of attention adn want us to drop to our knees and want sex all the time. If they dont think we are giving them the attention they want, they look elsewhere. 



They dont think of the consequences of their actions, they dont think about us, they simply think with their dicks.  Women think when we fall in love that its forever. Men fall in love with a feeling of being wanted and having sex when ever they want it. When real life comes into play and kids enter into the marriage, time is spread out and women tend to neglect their husbands and their selfish thoughts. They go find someone else to make them feel special all over again like it was when you and he were first together.



You will never get over his affair, you will never forget. If he isnt really making an effort, if he isnt accountable for his time, if he isnt accountable for how he feels and shares his feeling with you, if he just doesnt understand why you feel the way you do.. then the marriage is doomed.  It takes two people to have a relationship, its not 50/50 its 100/100 and if that isnt what your putting in to it and not what he is putting into it, then how can it work?



I think about the affair my hubby had every day,. something will come up and remind me of it.. I cant see that ever changing. But I am only here because I have no where to go, no income, am disabled and cant work anymore.. so Im stuck.. I wish I was 20 yrs younger, then I wold be gone and not have to look at him everyday and be reminded of how selfish and selfcentered he and other men are, and just go live happily ever after all by myself.  Good luck

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Crystal - posted on 03/11/2010

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Its been almost a year and i still hold on to it. But to tell you the truth its the reason we fight so much. Because i dwell on the pain and hold it against him. Im trying to trust again but its hard. Its a long journey to trusting again. All i can say is if you love him then try. If you still have doubts then you always will. But if you think you can grow from it and forgive then give it all you got.

Ashley - posted on 02/20/2010

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Yes, and my husband cheated on me 4 1/2 yrs ago. He did it while I was pregnant with my youngest son. He did it to get back at me. I cheated on him or so he says, but I think we were broke up. I moved out of our house back in with my grandmother with my oldest son when I got pregnant. But the worse thing is I didn't find out that he cheated until 2 wks that my son was suppose to be born.

Holly - posted on 10/13/2009

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i just found out about my husbands affair 2 wks ago and it has been going on for the past 6 wks. he says he will end it but hasn't had the chance. says he needs to do it in person but yet i have known for 2 wks he's seen her since and yet the affair continues. i don't know what to do .... i believe it is a mutual friend of ours but he denies it and won't tell me who it really is ... i'm driving myself crazy

Crystal - posted on 09/03/2009

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Yes, even though i love him it still hurts like hell. I dont know how to get past it either. Its always in the back of my mind. The worst part is how i found out though... And how many times he cheated

Mayela - posted on 08/12/2009

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I am sorry Jennifer. I know how you feel. It's little things that stir up the feelings again. Like the other day I was contemplating cutting my hair since this Texas heat is just killing me. My husband said something along the lines of him not liking the idea because he didn't like girls with short hair. Yet, the woman he messed around with had hair just barely above her shoulders! And then I once again started feeling angry and having mental images of them together. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it!

I am trying SOOOOOO hard to trust him, but I am so afraid for being let down once again!

Jennifer - posted on 08/09/2009

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Quoting Mayela:

I don't know if I should worry

My husband cheated a few months ago. we have been trying to work things out and things have gotten better, but I can't seem to "let it go". Do you still resent him for cheating?



I am in the same situation, its been very hard for me to let it go. I caught my husband naked with another woman.

Samantha - posted on 08/07/2009

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I think I will always resent him for it I am raising a baby that not the BM or Him seem to want So I love her and teach her like she is one of mine even though ever time i look at her i see her BM and it hurts thank gooness she kinda of looks like our son

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