I think my husband is cheating

Shaunda - posted on 04/24/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am starting to believe that my husband is cheating again but i can not prove it. I don't know if i should leave or stay? please give me so advice.. : (

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Ricky - posted on 04/26/2010

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Can you forgive him a second time (if he is)? If not I would say leave him. Talk to your hubby and let him know that you think he is cheating and if he can't prove that he is not than you are leaving. Explain to him the reasons why you think he is (no matter how small or stupid you think the reasons are) and let let him tell his story or explain why he is doing what he is doing. Personally I wouldnt be able to stay with mine if he cheated on me again.

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Lisa - posted on 06/20/2012

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Well I can tell you from personal experience that if your feeling it, it is probably happening. I was blindsided by my husbands first Emotional Affair in Korea 5 years ago and completely and totally blindsided by the latest one that (aptly enough I found out about it one year to the day you posted your post). He had come back from a Deployment in Alaska where he met this "woman" on a porno site and develeoped a relationship with her first through there and then met her at a Red Robin for dinner and went to a movie (ironic as it was they saw Act of Valor) then back to his hotel room where his troops were also staying and slept with her. Then they went on a snowmobiling trip with her and all his other troops that were there with him (and he has the nerve to say that they had no idea about their relationship). He went to her house, helped her with chores, interacted and acted like a father figure to her kids. He told this woman that he loved her and felt like he was meant to stay in Alaska with her instead of coming back to me and his son all the way up to the day he left to come home. He says he only did it because he felt like I was falling out of love with him and that he felt he needed to find someone who would love him and make him feel like they wanted him. I said when have I ever said I didn't love you or act like I don't love you. He said I always acted like I didn't want to have sex or have him touch me when he wanted to have sex and this woman loved him and wanted him. I told him well considering she has been married three times and is still not divorced from her third husband do you REALLY think that she would have been the woman to make you feel loved especially since you met her on a porno site and she is still trolling on it looking for mister right. We have been in counseling and are being more honest and open with each other and trying to make it work but my trust is gone and I am having a very hard time seeing a future with him. I took my vows seriously even though he didn't and am willing to try and make it work but there are times I just want to hit him and run away forever. He has not had any contact with her since I confronted her on their Yahoo account other than to say on another email account that I found out about (this was from her) You told me you loved me and if you didn't then that is ok but you need to figure out if you love her or me and let me know if it is me.....whatever. He did not respond. I have put a tracking application on his computer so I know that he has not been in contact with her or anyone else through there but I don't know what he does on his email at work. I just hope he is being truthful and we can get through this.

Bec - posted on 02/25/2012

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I disagree with the person that said your instincts are never wrong. It is amazing how wrong women's instincts can be! There were many times that I was convinced that my husband was cheating & even felt like I had "proof"! But all that was proved in the end was that I was feeling threatened in my relationship or emotional because of hormones! And trust me, hormones can convince you of just about anything! That does not mean that you're man is cheating! But be surerfirst!! And don't always trust your "instincts", "woman's intuition" or even just a "gut feeling".

Joanna - posted on 02/20/2012

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Totally agree with you Tangela. At this moment I'm at this fase. So help me Lord!!!

Tangela - posted on 01/17/2012

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God gave a women intuition, not just for the mother in her, but also for the wife/spouse. But only you know the signs. I say pray very hard about it. And everything that is done in the dark will come to the light. But get the proof first before you leave and then regret it later, if he was not doing anything. As long as there is no harm being done to you physically or verbally. I say wait before you leave so you can have your evidence if he is. You may be hurt if he is, but at the same time you will know the truth and dont have to wonder if you made a mistake.

Ntombi - posted on 07/31/2010

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Your instinct are never wrong. If you feel or think he is cheating than he is. Forget the proof, even though you will need it if you have to confront him.

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Like she said, if he IS cheating, would you stay with him? If he isn't, how do you actually know? You said cheating "again"...so will you be able to be at peace again with him even if he never cheats again? Can you believe him? Counseling girl...and don't forget your girlfriends. Msg me if you need to.

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