15 fears of a Thanksgiving Feast virgin

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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1. Buying the turkey: I've never bought one of these before. They say you're supposed to get one pound per person eating, but knowing my crew, I think that's a little much. Then again, I don't want to be stingy on the portions.

2. Putting my hand in there: You know what I'm talking about. For all I know, I'm gonna reach in there and pull out Tommy the Turkey's old pal Suzie Squirrel. I DIDN'T ASK FOR THE TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL!

3. Drying out the turkey: If I cook it too long, I'm screwed. What if I select some super special abnormal turkey that is perfectly cooked in under four hours when I think it needs six?! That would be my luck.

4. Carving the meat: Growing up, my dad would always break out our automatic carving knife for big occasions like this. A.) I don't have any idea how to work that thing and B.) I will definitely need protective eyewear before attempting to slice the first drumstick. Clearly, this whole turkey thing concerns me.

5. Burning myself: I'm clumsy. Cooking so many things at once means I am optimizing my chances for a kitchen mishap, I just know it.

6. Forgetting about something: Like I said, there's going to be a lot going on.

7. Timing everything just right: Something is going to take longer than expected.

8. I may fall asleep: I'm slightly narcoleptic. It's undiagnosed. I'll be awake way past my normal 9:30 p.m. bedtime, and adding in loads of food to the equation is totally going to make me extra tired. I can't be tired when I have a house full of 15 guests and dessert to tend to.

9. What if I'm too full to drink?: MUST. DRINK. WINE.

10. Roasting the chestnuts: Is there any way to tell when chestnuts are really done roasting over an open fire?

11. Having a place to put everything: So many dishes, so little room. Does the folding table from the basement even open anymore? Is it moldy? Are we going to have to sit on the family room floor in some sort of cockeyed prayer circle?

12. What if I start to look preggers?: At least my dress has an empire waist and a distracting, yet appropriate, orange leaf pattern.

13. Leftovers: Should I just tell everyone to bring Tupperware from the get-go? I don't have enough old Chinese food containers for everyone to take home their own doggie bag. God knows I don't need to eat 1,000-calorie meals every day for the next three weeks.

14. Room, room, room: If (when) my guests get drunk, where will I put them? Should I take my gazillion 20 percent off Bed Bath & Beyond coupons and snag an extra air mattress?

15. Can't we all just get along?: It's always interesting, gathering friends and relatives from different circles who have never met. Let's hope my old sorority sister gets along with my boyfriend's cousin who has a thing for zombie romantic comedies.

Are you hosting Thanksgiving this year? Do you have any tricks or tips?

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19 Comments

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Lacye - posted on 11/23/2011

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I did fix my husband and his father a Thanksgiving dinner the first year hubby and I were dating. It turned out pretty good. I didn't cook turkey but I did fix some chicken and that worked just as well. At least his daddy liked it!

Becky - posted on 11/22/2011

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We've hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas a couple of times. I refuse to stick my hand up the turkey's butt! I make my husband do the turkey and I will gladly do everything else! He carves it too, because I can't even slice bread straight!

Amie - posted on 11/21/2011

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Oh one other thing - don't be surprised if the turkey doesn't fit in the roaster with the lid on.

I bought the correct size roaster and turkey - the lid doesn't fit with the turkey in the roaster, it never has. I have no idea why this is. Even when I made smaller ones, the lid would not go on properly. So I just wrap tin foil around the top of the roaster and bird. lol

Amie - posted on 11/21/2011

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OH dessert! I forgot to add - it's always pumpkin & apple pie. Baked beforehand, again obviously. LOL Once everyone is sitting down to eat supper, just pop them in the oven to warm (if your oven doesn't have a warming setting just put it on the lowest setting possible). Everyone gets dessert after dishes are finished, if they want it. LOL This allows for the turkey supper to settle and give us a bit of room to have some pie. =)

Amie - posted on 11/21/2011

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I did host Thanksgiving this year and every year prior going back 9 years. (I'm in Canada, our Thanksgiving was in October) I started when I was 20. I also host Christmas and Easter. fun times.



The hard part is organizing people. I refuse, absolutely refuse, to have our two families mix for the holidays. We did it the first year we were together and it was almost a disaster. They don't get along - we'll just leave it at that.



The most important part - make sure the turkey is thawed - completely! That means sticking your hand in there and checking the middle. It can be thawed on the outside but not inside. The turkey size I buy take roughly 2 days to thaw completely. Always double check. I do mine in the sink, in water, covered with one of my big metal bowls. At the end of the 2nd day, move from the sink to the bowl to the fridge. (To clarify, that's 1 day, 1 night and at the end of the 2nd day put it in the fridge for the last night) If I thawed it soley in the fridge, it would take at least a day longer. I can't afford to lose that much fridge space for that many days. LOL



I always get up early - so waking up the day of to start cooking, really isn't hard. I prep everything, put my stuffing in the crock pot (never in the bird, it gets too moist and if you pack in more bread crumbs it is a PITA to get out of there), bird in the roaster and veggies in their pots with water (water is a must of they start turning colours, which isn't good). Crock pot goes on low around noon. The bird goes in the oven at noon on a low setting to start it off - a few horus later I turn it up higher. I also do the butter between the skin and meat, minus the bacon on top. You can also add spices in there if you like, I know my SIL likes too. I'm not a fan. I then turn on pots as they need to be - corresponding to my end time (when the turkey will be done). Turnips always take the longest, so I turn them on about 10-15 minutes before the potatoes, then the carrots. Once that's on - I slice dill pickles for the tray, put on bread n butter pickles, cranberry jelly, etc. Cover it with plastic wrap and put in the fridge. I pull out the buns (these I do bake beforehand, obviously LOL) put a towel in a bowl, put in buns and fold up towel around the buns. I set the table and start getting the serving ware ready. Once the turkey is done, it comes out to rest and I start the gravy. If the other pots are done when I start the gravy- they are turned on low until I can drain them and finish them.



After all that, it's just a matter of getting it into the serving ware and putting it out. I don't have to do dishes, my company is kind enough to do it for me. I have no advice on the drunk guests aspect, the only people we know who get drunk during the holidays are my husbands alocholic parents (probably a big reason why everyone else is so cautious) - but even they switch off who is going to get drunk first so someone can drive home. =/



I also don't send leftovers. I have managed to make just enough to feed everyone plus allow for a leftover stew the next day. Which is basically throwing it all in the crockpot (sometimes adding/making things if needed, like more gravy!) and turning it on low. One big day of prepartion, the next day of rest. =) Easy peasy.

Stifler's - posted on 11/20/2011

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I don';t know they come in a turkey leg or breast and it says self basting on the packet lol real turkey and everything not weird reconstituted turkey.

Michelle - posted on 11/20/2011

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Did it on my own the day after last year because my daughter decided tobe born the day before Thanksgiving. Luckily I had a gut feeling the week before (she wasn't due until Dec. 13th) and had bought turkey etc. I was exhausted from you just having a baby so I cooked the turkey in the crock pot. It turned out pretty good. This year I am sticking to dinner at my grandmas. If you plan to send home left overs those disposable/ reusable Tupperware things are good to stock up on. Send everyone out the door with food you don't ever want to see again.

Katherine - posted on 11/20/2011

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I've never heard of a self basting turkey, but then again what do I know?

Stifler's - posted on 11/20/2011

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haha we don't have thanksgiving but here in austraya we get self basting turkeys, no way to ruin it unless you burn it.

Medic - posted on 11/17/2011

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It does....and even more amazing because I am not cooking it. I would even clean up after...haha

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

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Doesn't it sound delicious?

Medic - posted on 11/17/2011

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If she is cooking I am sooo there!!!

Medic - posted on 11/17/2011

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Haha thank you Katherine.......at least you are making the effort. My feelings are if someone else is cooking great...I would really rather not be confined to a house with my extended family......or my immediate family for that matter...me hubby and kids are all I need....and some friends...and THANK GOD Bill Millers has turkey day meals for the family packs.

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

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But I might go to Elizabeth's for Thanksgiving!

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

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I don't think you did lol.

Medic - posted on 11/17/2011

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I have never and will try my damndest to not ever have too....and yes I may have misspelled the made up word.

Liz - posted on 11/17/2011

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Not the slightest bit bad, just one of those things! Just remember that glass of wine.

Biggest possible tip I could give anyone is not to care so much about the meal that you get stressed. At the end of the day, as long as something is edible and your nearest and dearest are there, that is all that really matters. As long as nobody burns the house down, anything else is really the stuff of humorous anecdotes of the future! :D

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

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Wow, Elizabeth. Umm, I've NEVER cooked a turkey. Never had to. Always had it somewhere else. Isn't that bad?

Liz - posted on 11/17/2011

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3: To avoid drying out the turkey, I put butter in between the flesh and the skin of the bird. You have to kinda get your hand in there first to break (gently) some of the fibrous connections between skin and flesh, so that you can get it really loose. Then you take handfuls of butter and rub it around in that space, maybe aiming at about a half centimetre depth of fat between flesh and skin, though you can put less in if you are being particularly health conscious. It will probably be visible through the skin when the bird is raw.



I also take streaky bacon and layer it like a french braid pattern over the back of the bird. The fat drips down over the turkey to baste it, while the bacon cooks nicely.



4. Make sure you let the meat rest after it finishes cooking. Don't try and carve it straight away; you'll get better results. However, as long as it tastes good, I say to hell with caring about whether or not the slices are magazine perfect! :D I pick my battles.



5. Cut down on the things that you have to do at the same time. For example, I wash and slice/prepare all the vegetables the day before and bag them up in Hefty/Glad bags in the refrigerator.



6. I write out a list of everything I have to do, with times worked out, then clip this to the side of the refrigerator. Of course some things don't conform nicely with my military dictatorship plan, but it's easier to pull things back into line when you know where the line is supposed to be. It also doesn't really matter if the timings all work out or not at the end of the day. Many are the times where I've ripped up said list, poured myself a glass of wine and said 'bollocks!'. Meal still turned out more or less alright.