Bashing of Teen moms.....seriously

Megan - posted on 07/05/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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okay so i have been on a couple of other groups tonight and am really getting freaking sick of ppl ragging on about all the teen moms these days and how they turn out to be nothing but dead beat parents living off of the government assistance and their own parents helping them raise their kids, i mean really why on earth do all of these older moms think that ALL teen moms are shitty parents? I am a teen mom I was 18 just out of highschool when i found out i was pregnant and had my daughter at 19 i am proud to say that I don't get governent assistance i have a part time job and willl be going to school part time in the fall. Me and my babys daddy are still together and doing great. Why do ppl have to judge on statistics i mean really ppl look where they are coming from. Some teens yes are horrible parents but why punish us all with your judgments when it doesn't apply?

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Amber - posted on 07/09/2010

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I quit....again :) haha
I am a young mom~ I was just shy of 20 when I had my son. And while I have gotten a few nasty comments on the street, the ones on COM haven't been rude or nasty. Just questioning and interested in learning more and finding out why these things happen....
I agree that it sucks when we get slammed. But in order to stop having people look down on us, you have to rise above it.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't vent, because that is what this is here for. But it's difficult for people to have a good impression of young moms when they feel like all we do is whine.

Charlie - posted on 07/09/2010

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megan , that was in a debate community and not one older mum implied that teen mums were bad mums in fact the only people who mentioned that were the teen mums , i seriously doubt you actually read the thread before posting or you would have realized this before going off half cocked and getting defensive over words that were not said it was blindingly obvious which teen mums actually read the thread , they are the ones who were able to partake in the debate and discuss opinions maturely without the need to post their achievements and waiting for a pat on the back , you know what ALL good mothers deserve a pat on the back .

we all have opinions some of us do not think its an ideal situation to be a teen mother but in the end we dont care what your age is as long as your a good mother who takes on their responsibilities regardless of age .

Seriously the pity party is getting old there are people who will judge for many reasons no matter your age from whether you breast fed or formula fed , whether your married or not , co slept or not i would suggest focusing on doing whats best for your child and stop worrying about what strangers think and if it really bothers you do hear opposing opinions perhaps a debate community is not the right place for you unless your prepared to have a real discussion on both the pros and the cons of many topics .

Geralyn - posted on 07/11/2010

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There are just as many stereotypes about "older" moms (what the hell does that mean? define older mom!) as teen moms. I do not consider someone having a baby at 20 or 21 - or even 18 or 19 for that matter because they are adults - to be teen moms. The concerns that I have heard in our society address issues of readiness for someone who is of high school age having a child.... I think most teen moms, even the ones who turn out to be great moms, question their readiness at times, as it usually isn't a planned pregnancy.

There are just as many offensive things said about "older" moms, like we partied through our 20s..., some of us were actually going to college/graduate school, building a career, and working 80-100 hours per week. Don't tell me that I, as an "older" mom, don't have the energy level of a "younger" mom.

I don't listen to that crap, and neither should the younger moms. People judge other people every day, by their age, skin color, hair color, weight, dress, the list is endless..... These judgmental people should just mind their own business and worry about the problems in their own families.......

Katherine - posted on 07/06/2010

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Oh Wow I feel like a grandma.....I had my first at 30
:O
I haven't heard anything about teens getting ripped on....I just kind of mind my own business. I have seen some very mature young moms and some very immature young moms. That being said, I have seen some mature older moms and some immature older moms. I don't think aga matters.
As far as experience it doesn't matter what age you are a first time mom is a first time mom------>inexperienced.
That's my take on it anyways.

[deleted account]

Megan....the only controversy I've seen regarding teen moms is in a DEBATE community.....we were debating, or at least TRYING to debate but of course SOME of the teen moms have to get defensive! No one is saying you're a bad mom, no one is judging....we're entitled to our opinions and we've backed them up with statistics. Gah....

You whining about it is only making our arguement stronger!

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Charlie - posted on 07/12/2010

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Geralyn - Exactly , you hit the nail on the head !!

LOL i thought i was a young mum until i joined COM apparently im old according to computer land .

[deleted account]

I didn't start having kids until I was 27. I knew a lot of teen moms, some good some not. Same as older moms. I know some that are great & some that suck. Depends mostly on the person than the age.

Jaime - posted on 07/09/2010

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I believe Megan is referring to the "Teen Parents" thread in the community 'Parenting Debates & Hot Topics'

So far, with the exception of a comment or two, the entire thread has remained non-judgmental of teen moms in general except to say that in general teenagers are not ready to be parents. A broad perspective? Yes! Untrue? Not even close! I think the thread has succeeded in finding common ground on both the teen and older mom side of the discussion and then BAM, another teen mom chimes in with her hurt feelings, spouting about judgment and blah, blah, blah.....I need a drink now!

*Lisa* - posted on 07/07/2010

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Yeah there's always going to be a few ignorant people on COM. Makes life interesting ;) I know quite a few fabulous young mums and some fabulous older ones. Katherine's right. Everyone is in the same boat!

Krystle - posted on 07/06/2010

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All I have to say to these people is "Blow it out your A**!!!" I mean, for REAL! I got pregnant just shy of 20 and had my oldest son just shy of 21. I wasn't a "teen mom" but a lot of people look at me and just shake their head when they see me with 3 boys. I'll be 25 next month and I STILL get those looks and yes, I do get highly offended when I hear people talking badly about teen moms or young moms. To be honest and straight forward, there really are some moms out there who are shitty with their responsibilities and lazy and living off their parents and government assistance. But that's not just limited to teens and young moms. There are some who had their babies at 15 or 16 who do a better job than the ones who wait until their mid to late 20's! I've said it before and I'll say it again, age had nothing to do with capability...it's about mental maturity and whether or not you're willing to put forth the effort and sacrifice selfishness for selflessness.

Oh and BTW, I recieve government assistance, but that doesn't mean that I'm living off of it. I'm proud to say that I'm actually trying to get to where we don't need it anymore. I believe that is the case for many of the other families on government assistance. People who try to work the system and get what they really don't need make me sick!

[deleted account]

I had my son at 21 (planned) and I got the snotty remarks too... I also got the "Look at her sugar daddy." (talking about my fiance who is 7 years older then me). Why not be supportive of young moms instead of bashing them with stereotypes and telling them they are worthless. Statistics are just ink on a piece of paper and should not be taken more seriously than actual human beings. It's sad and very frustrating to see/hear these things.

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2010

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i had my daughter when i was 21 but i look a lot younger (without make up on) and i have had a few remarks like aw isnt that nice you taking your wee sister out for a walk!!

my mum had her 1st child when she was 16 and she is the best mum ever!

it doesnt matter what age you are you can still be a great mum! i would just ignore the comments as ppl dont know what there talking about slagging off young mums

[deleted account]

Ive been reading them too most of the ones doing the slagging off seem to be stuck up older moms who spent their twenties drinking and partying and assume we all wanted that too. Im 32 now but i had my oldest when i was 19 and had two babies by the time i was 21 so i got a lot of people looking down their noses at me assuming i was too thick to not get pregnant. They dont care that i was married, owned my own house and never claimed welfare all they see is the stereotype. I was shopping with my family a few weeks back and we stopped in mcdonalds, in the queue by the side of me was a young girl looking about 16 with a bump the same as me. I asked her how far along she was and turns out we are due the same week. As we were talking i could hear some woman in the queue behind us saying look at her she cant be no more than 16 its disgusting. I couldnt believe someone could be so rude the girl was obviously upset but she said she gets remarks like that all the time and comments like do you remember who the father is etc. To me she seemed like a lovely girl who made a mistake and is getting on with life and doing the best she can i dont see why everyones got to kick people when they are down.

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