[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )
I'm very angry with my husband right now, and I need to get over it quick because I don't have time to waste on this.
Here is what happened. I'm stressed out. I've had a rough couple of weeks and with J being out of school I don't get many breaks.
My MIL calls today (Thurs) and asks if she can take J to a late lunch and have him spend the night, and J has been BEGGING to go visit her all week, so I say yes.
Meanwhile, my husband is planning a motorcycle ride on Saturday with some work clients, so he calls MIL to ask if J can spend Friday night and if she can take him to TKD practice on Sat. She agrees, but this makes two nights in a row with MIL.
I then get a call from DH who is upset that J is going to be spending so much time with MIL over the next two days. The first words out of his mouth were "So I guess J is living at Mom's house now?"
I told him I agreed to let him go today because he'd been begging for time with her all week (I had only learned about the motorcycle ride AFTER I made plans with MIL for today). He responded "Way to put your foot down..." implying that I let J call the shots and had only let him go with MIL today because he begged. Keep in mind, I had no idea about the motorcycle ride, MIL hasn't had him over in nearly a month, and I've had a REALLY CRAPPY couple of weeks.
Throughout the conversation, he kept making remarks that I took as snide, passive agressive comments attacking my parenting. When I called him out on them, he would respond "That's not what I'm trying to say." but when I asked him exactly what he did mean by the remarks, he essentially rephrased the same comment, and it was still pretty much saying I need to put my foot down with J and not let him do what he wanted, and that he "knows summer is tough with keeping J occupied" but we have to step up and deal with it--essentially implying that I was wrong for wanting a break this afternoon. Also, I did mostly want the break, but I also planned to get new tires on our car and was hoping to spare J the boredom of sitting in the autoshop wait room for an hour and half, and I am wrong for that too.
So now I'm pissed off at him and I need to get over it because I really don't want to spoil our evening being cold toward one another. I also don't want J to have to deal with the stress of us being at odds.
He "apologized" but I didn't feel it was a heartfelt apology. I felt, at that point, he was just saying what he hoped I wanted to hear.
So how do I get over it? I want him to know that I am angry with him, I want him to respect my ability as a parent, and I want us both to be happy by this evening.