GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Jenni - posted on 08/16/2011

Every single one of us have been a minority in a debate. I don't take it personal and I expect that if I keep responding, other posters will continue to 'debate' my posts. That's how it works in that community. I don't see it as bullying, it is debating.

If you can't handle your personal opinion being *debated* then it isn't the community for you. Which you've obviously decided it isn't. It isn't a community where you can state your opinion and expect everyone to just sit idle and accept your opinion without responding. That is not the nature of the forum.

As for following you here. We've all been members of this group far longer than you. If anything, you've followed us here.

And I'll second Jodi's ***eye roll***

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2011

well you know where to go then...*points to unpleasant place* either that or cease.... but I doubt you will.

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2011

**eye roll**

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2011

I have every right to question a mod who allows name-calling earlier on, and gets mad at me for the same thing she allowed.

dude... the only "threat", once again, was to violate THUMPS and just go off on them. I see no problem with being straight forward. it is better than the round about way of saying things. BTW I m locking. this. your all just pissing me off after I had calmed down and gotten over it. that and, I am sick and tired of being debated personally. not a personal attack my ASS.

indirect as it is, oh HELL yes it is.

oh yeah... I am closing this conversation. I don't wanna hear you all bitch and moan and try to prove that I am a bad person just cuz I won't shut up about what you did. I just watched you pull the same crap on someone else.

You found the "loophole" in THUMPS because harassment isn't enforced. well good for you. go eat a cookie and leave me alone.

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2011

dude. this is supposed to be a vent, not a more stress. I leave for a couple a days and you guys blow it up. and yes. I question the mods integrity, as is my right when someone questions mine. knights code of conduct, which I was taught with as a kid. so..yeah I follow all that honor stuff. don't like it. then why don't you consider leaving me alone?

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2011

I find it infinitesimally "funny" they stalked me here too... after I left the group to get away from it.

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2011

Nikki. I already answered that. go stalk my posts again. The answer to that is in the posts, unless they deleted it.

here's the thing. I just watched them do it to someone else... in a group, I am about to leave the first sign of them doing it again.

let me put it to you this way. get 10 women vs 1-2 women who have a slightly different opinion saying "I believe this, but...(insert variant that they don't agree with). then their is badgering, and harassing, and they just KEEP it going. THAT falls under harassment... aka bullying.

again. I just watched these SAME women bully another woman who took the same stance on them not having to agree and asked them to stop badgering her. she left the thread. I stood up and let it fly. OBVIOUSLY this behavior is inappropriate.

Jenni - posted on 08/15/2011

I'm just gonna throw in another vote for what the other ladies said here. I was also involved/lurking over that debate and your post made me double take and then reread the other posts to see what I missed that caused all the rage.



There was no personal attacks being made by other posters, only you. Questioning your personal experience is completely kosher on DM. If you're going to use it as fact. Also anecdoctal arguments tend to be incredibly weak in a debate. For future reference.


We don't know you, we don't know your integrity, we don't know if you could have been mistaken... your personal experience cannot be proven without facts to back it up, so the argument is weak. And no matter who tries to pull a personal experience off as fact, it will be attacked and discredited in order to prove the oppositions argument.



That is nothing personal. If I did that right now in a debate, I would *expect* these ladies to question my personal experience and the validity of it.

Holly - posted on 08/15/2011

I just want to chime in here. I commented at the beginning of the debate in question and then just read what was being said after that (because, really, I had nothing to add). The only person I even thought about reporting for attacks was you, Stephanie.

Yes, it's HARD when youa re trying to defend yourself and your personal life on an online forum (believe me, I've been there!), but that is no reason to attack the people disagreeing with you. Wht I did when I was in that situation was say "I realize that my emotions are hurt right now and I'm going to step out of the debate so I don't violate no THUMPS" Then I was out. I didn't read the thread again until it was a few months old (and locked) and in rereading it I saw that it wasn't as bad as I remembered. My emotions were just getting in the way in the heat of the moment and I was so glad I pulled myself out before making a fool of myself.

Anyway, my point is that we're all adults on here and none of us should ever resort to name calling (and yes, the only person I saw doing any name calling was you) and all of us should be able to recognize when we're too emotionally hurt to form a reasonabe and rational response. Believe me, icy responses are way more effective than firey ones...

Nikki - posted on 08/15/2011

Wow, I just have to ask after reading through the debate....Why on earth do you still get the flu vaccine if you positively believe that you are catching the flu from it. Why not save yourself the pain from the shot???

I agree with everyone else, you were out of line, rude and offensive. I know that it's difficult to debate when you are the only one on one side of an opinion and you have a bunch of regular's arguing the same point against you. But if you can't handle it then don't debate.

And just for the record "proper debate" does happen on DM because the mods and members care about the group and enjoy participating so they don't allow rude obnoxious people offend members.

Jodi - posted on 08/14/2011

Where we agree to disagree ALL the time. And occasionally, change our minds on some things because we see a new perspective.

Stifler's - posted on 08/14/2011

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE when a newbie comes on and there is a debate about something and they're like "Wow how judgmental... blah blah judgmental judgment poor me.. I thought this was a website for supporting each other... help not hurt etc. etc." I laugh so hard. It's clearly called "Debating Mums!".

Toni - posted on 08/14/2011

Wow Stephanie you really need to get a grip...NOBODY has followed you here, we were already members and NOBODY is bullying you, we have every right to defend what actually happened.



Nobody is questioning your integrity just your knowledge but yet again you are questioning our integrity...we have better things to do than edit posts to make them say something else, we just didn't say anything wrong.



Oh and saying someone was a bully in school is a violation of no THUMPS again, there is a difference with questioning a topic and out right name calling and FYI I have never bullied anyone anywhere, it's not who I am.



Nobody was harassing you we were debating your opinion which you presented as fact, we were prepared to listen to your side, we asked for evidence to back up your claims you couldn't provide it, you gave us heresy which isn't evidence, debating a topic is not harassing again there is a big difference...you were disagreed with got all butt hurt and started name calling and yelling about being harassed and bullied which didn't happen, we disagreed with you get over it!

Erin - posted on 08/14/2011

Oh, and next time you want to vent about a group's mods and regulars, you might want to check they aren't all members of the group you're doing it in :-/

Erin - posted on 08/14/2011

Funny. "spurned members" keep claiming they were bullied in your group? maybe then, you should re think how you treat your members. It is, in fact, bullying. obviously it has been done before. why not do something about the bullies instead of those who are defending themselves.

No, here's what happens. A newbie goes barrelling onto the board, perhaps with a less than popular opinion (which is totally fine and actually welcomed). They usually have not read the guidelines and have no idea what to expect (often getting DM confused with other 'support' groups on COM). Their argument is picked apart by several members (usually regulars) and the newbie starts screaming from the rooftops that they are being bullied on DM. When actually all that has happened is that people have disagreed with them.

Stephanie you were not wronged here. You were disagreed with. It's a debate board. It happens to all of us. It is not an attack on your integrity. Talk about dramatic! Jesus.

Carolee - posted on 08/14/2011

And that's why I stay away from certain subjects on CoM. lol.

Stifler's - posted on 08/14/2011

Dun dun DUNNNNNNN

Katherine - posted on 08/14/2011

Ahhhhh.

Krista - posted on 08/14/2011

DM. It was a vax thread.

Sam - posted on 08/14/2011

Ya what group did this all happen in?

Katherine - posted on 08/14/2011

Wow, which thread was this?

Charlie - posted on 08/14/2011

LOL miss anonymous woman .....everyone here knows me.

You need to get a grip ...really the paranoia and accusations you are laying on people are absurd, I wasnt involved in any of the threads or your outbursts I was merely observing your attempt to keep it "low key " .......which you failed .

No one is attacking your honour , I mean you join a debate page and then throw a tantrum and expect everyone to say as you want then you come on over to the vent community of which majority of the debating community are also members and project your own shortcomings on everyone else .

Stephanie these women who were apart of the threads you are talking of have every right to defend themselves against these incorrect accusations .

They way you word your posts and present yourself will not be tolerated in ANY community , if you wish to enjoy this place like everyone else does you are going to have to learn to be a little less inflamitory , have a little more decorum and a little less anger .

Krista - posted on 08/14/2011

Yeah, Stephanie. You are WAY out of line.

YOU'RE the one who chose to bring your own personal experiences into the debate. If you wanted those experiences to be held sacrosanct, then you should have left them out of the discussion. Besides, I saw that whole discussion -- and nobody was calling you a liar. At the worst, there might have been some question of whether or not you were mistaken.

And it's beyond absurd for you to be yelling at these people for commenting on this thread. Nobody followed you here. They've been in this group forever. So according to you, they're supposed to just sit back and shut up and let you say all sorts of nasty and untrue things about them? Seriously?

I wouldn't be surprised if they deleted and edited comments after I left.

So NOW who is questioning whose integrity??? If I was a mod, and you accused me of that, I would be PISSED.

Rosie - posted on 08/14/2011

stephanie can you show where someone called you names? i didn't see that, but i DID see you calling people names and threatening them.

Sara - posted on 08/14/2011

Stephanie said "I would appreciate it if you would shut you obviously over obtuse mouth and squash your pompous ego long enough to realize that several medical professionals, as well as people who have seen this happen will disagree. so in short. shove your OPINION of how MY body works, up your ass. It has been proven, and observed for YEARS. SHOVE IT."



I'm pretty sure that's a clear violation of No THUMPS, and it's honestly just rude. I don't know why you're going on and on trying to defend your stance and say you're victimized when you were clearly in the wrong. You're not being treated unfairly, you're being treated as anyone who says shit like that would be treated in ANY group. But hey, if you don't believe us, feel free to join other communities and see how your attitude goes over there! COMs s a big place!

Jodi - posted on 08/14/2011

Um, no-one is attacking your honour, and no, posts weren't deleted.



Stephanie, you brought your personal experience into it and people questioned it. If you don't want your personal experiences questioned, don't bring them into the debate to back up your arguments and opinions. You USED your personal experience to back up your opinion as fact. If you are going to do that, then people are going to question it if it doesn't make sense to them and they disagree with the opinion itself. It doesn't mean they are attacking YOU as a person.



And BTW, no-one is following you here. We've all been members of this group forever. You don't think we check in here and there and read the posts and comment where we feel fit, just as others do? Paranoid much?



Get a grip Stephanie, and stop taking it all so personally. No-one is bullying you. And right now, you are coming across like a 3 year old having a tantrum. It's not doing you any favours.

Jessica - posted on 08/14/2011

funny. the only people commenting are the ones doing it... the ones I am venting about. I am being honest, unlike some bullies I know. I left your group. you leave me alone.

The only "threat" I made was to thoroughly violate THUMPS by doing some thorough name-calling of my own.

Besides. I was keeping it low key, as just a generalized vent. nobody knew who you were, and I would have kept it that way out of respect for the site.
By attacking the validity of my personal experience up after it was expressed that was a line that was not OK(and even before I still consider it a personal thing against my integrity), and was a direct attack on my honor, honesty and integrity.

Funny. "spurned members" keep claiming they were bullied in your group? maybe then, you should re think how you treat your members. It is, in fact, bullying. obviously it has been done before. why not do something about the bullies instead of those who are defending themselves.

I wouldn't be surprised if they deleted and edited comments after I left. Otherwise, Jodi, I have no clue what you were looking at.

So... attacking my honor is the topic? insinuating your right and my health is not valid, and not caused by what took years to prove, is not a personal thing? 0.0 You bullied kids in school didn't you?

And you miss anonymous woman are the icing on the cake. "Proper" debate does not exist on the internet, as it uses procedure not able to be done here. HOWEVER, when a line is drawn, it is to be left alone, not badgered and harassed until someone cracks. why don't YOU read up on proper debate etiquette.

I find it appalling that you would follow me here and comment just to try and keep bullying me.

So... your going to continue harassing me or are you going to stop? I mean really. The whole problem I had was you won't leave me alone because you want to tell me my own experience didn't happen because you don't think it can, instead of saying something like "well ok. that's you. this is Me."

Charlie - posted on 08/14/2011

Oh yeah the threats !!!

Yeah that was icing on the cake , classy !

Charlie - posted on 08/14/2011

*eyeroll*

The only person attacking personally and calling names was you .

You seem to lack the understanding that in debate your ideas and opinions WILL be attacked this is not to be confused with a personal attack ( Like you have done )
If you choose to make a debate personal by using your own personal experience as part of you argument then you open that experience up for disection .

Perhaps leaving the debate board is a good idea , maybe you could read a few threads and perhaps the debate etiquette thread to get a clearer understanding of how online debate works and then re join when you feel capable of engaging in debate with throwing tantrums.

Jodi - posted on 08/14/2011

Yeah, a debate group isn't the best place to hang out if you don't like your opinions and views challenged and are going to take that personally.

Toni - posted on 08/14/2011

Nobody had a problem with you we were debating the information you put in your posts, if you didn't want that information debated then don't include it...everything is open to question on the debate boards.

You were the only one who resorted to name calling, and attacking and threatening people...the rest of us were attacking the topic it's a very different thing!

If your going to get upset and defensive then a debating group probably isn't the best group for you because there is always someone who disagrees with you...that is why I enjoy debating it'd be boring if we all agreed all the time.

Jodi - posted on 08/14/2011

Ditto what Erin said. No-one attacked you, just the issue. If you can't handle your opinion and viewpoint on an issue being questioned, debated and argued.....then you need to stay away.

Your posts were threatening and attacked people's character, not their arguments. End of story. I wasn't involved, but I was reading it. And I would have been surprised if it wasn't locked and you weren't warned. Some of your comments were just rude.

Erin - posted on 08/14/2011

Oh FFS Stephanie. You were not bullied or harrassed. Everyone is getting very tired of your pity party.

You can't post to a debate board and then tell people they can't debate you!!! And you can't demand that people stop responding to you, just because you don't like what they're saying. If you can't handle having your opinion challenged, then debating is not for you.

No mod had a problem with you. We had no idea who you were! You were treated just like anyone else would have been if they had broken the rules like you had. You were not targeted for special treatment. We have enough to do in monitoring that board, without carrying out some personal vendetta that you keep alluding to.

I get so sick of spurned members claiming they are being bullied just because a moderator has had to step in. If you follow the rules, we have no need to intervene. It's really not that hard. They're explained very clearly in the pinned threads on the first page of the board.