House cleaning

Amanda - posted on 08/10/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I dont know what to do my husbnad constantly complains about how Im not productive and I dont always have the house cleaned. Yet I know no mom truly spends all day cleaning the whole house over n over but how the heck am I to clean a house when A I dont have the right cleaning supplies that wonrt damage my wood floors or my counter tops. We havent had money to go buy the right house cleaning supplies in over 2 months yet Im not the one who works because we cant afford the daycare. We live in a small 3 bedroom 2 bath little house with 3 kids and 2 rambunchis dogs. Everytime I try to mop with vinager and water he compalins because it smells. Everytime I put tons of febreeze on our kids beds from them wetting the bed the pee smell wont go away and for the past 2 weeks its been raining off and on so I cant really take the mattresses outside and clean them if I do i risk them being ruined and we cant afford new beds. I just dont get it does it make me lazy and a bad mom because I refuse to pick up toys and clothes that my kids and husband leaves around the house. I get told to be productive clean the house all because when he comes home during lunch and nap time i'm resting watching tv isnt that what most moms do. I do the dishes clean off dining room table everyday clean the toilets every other day constantly picking up clothes he comes home the first thing he does is take off his shirt and socks and just leaves them where ever he takes them off. Then as I said I got 3 kids that have tons of toys we don't have a play room and I understand as a kid not wanting to play in there small rooms all day and lately on days it don't rain its been about 90ish outside so I wont let them be outside to long. So yes they bring toys out and play in living room or hallway and b4 daddy gets home i make them put them in bedroom and b4 nap i do the same. So basically I feel like I'm just supposed to be a maid who cleans and cooks for my family but I know that's not who I will be or am. Hell even when I cook a good dinner not my husband nor my kids end up eating it all so Im sick off always doing so much around the house and never being truly recongized instead he just bitches aboutt hings I truly cant do anythign about due to money or mother nature and Im sick of it I dont know how to explain to him I do bust my ass trying to keep this house smelling good and being decent for people to be here but with 2 dogs and 3 kids in a small as cabin like home its hard to keep it clean longer than 3 freaking hours. I dont know what to do anymore so basically i will clean the home with what i have and if he dont like how it smells or looks then so be it but atleast I did as he asked.

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Amanda - posted on 08/10/2011

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thanks very much for that. He does help with the kids sometimes and about 2 weekends out of the month he will clean whole house without wanting my help. But its is just plain annoying that he actually expects it to stay clean all day long heck i super cleaned all day today and yet not even 30 mins after i got it all done the kids got pop tarts on the floor I mean its completely impossible to do i just wish eh saw it that way. I wish I did have a job to allow my self the break and him the chance to see the daily challenges even if it is only for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. But thank you very much for the advice truly. Nice knowing someone sees it my way.

Katie - posted on 08/10/2011

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Wow...I am sorry you're having to deal with such a ridiculous cause of stress; it's already one thing to live in a small house with kids and animals and manage the daily cleaning duties among everything else, but to have your husband, who is supposed to be your EQUAL and your TEAMMATE holler at you and treat you like a piece of shit -- that is just wrong. If he loves and respects you, he wouldn't make you feel guilty about not keeping everything perfect when indeed you are trying your best; instead, he would help you try to come up with a solution and get off your back about it. Maybe you should take a couple days "off" and let him stay home with the daily demands and see how he deals with it. What he needs is a taste of his own medicine. We live in the 21st century, not the 1950s. I say, keep your house up as best you can for your OWN sanity and cleanliness for the kids, but don't do it for him; do what works for you. If he doesn't like it, he can fuck off! Sorry, that's just how I would put it, but then again, I'm already a clean freak and my husband doesn't have much to complain about - but he wouldn't dare anyway! He helps 50/50 with our son, totally hands on, cooks meals 90% of the time for us, and we both work full time - him traveling more than I. (I'm not here to say my marriage is perfect in any way, I'm just giving an example that husbands can, should, and do have a major role in modern households where the workload is shared, even if you're SAHM - whatever, that's a job on it's own!). A marriage should be about teamwork and making positive compromises; if he doesn't like the house being dirty, then he should stop complaining about it and do something to help out. Maybe you can agree to just "upkeep" the house throughout the week, but on the weekend, say on Saturday or Sunday afternoon, the WHOLE FAMILY works together to give it a deep clean, do laundry, give the dogs a bath, and reorganize so that when the week starts all over you have a clean slate and a happier household. Best of luck, keep you head up!!!

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