I hate dealing with my stupid ex! Please help me!!

Amber - posted on 02/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is Amber and i am the mother of a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter. Well I have been having problems with my ex since we broke up which was about a month after my daughter was born. He's a drunk a violent one at that. He has been in and out of jail since I got pregnant. He ever tried to kill himself a few times after finding out I was pregnant he was depressed and it has gone untreated. His recent crime was stabbing a man. He started watching my house from across the street at the park. He was harassing me call me 20+ times a day. So decided to move out of state which is where I have been for the last 4 months I told him and gave him his 30 days to petition for me to stay never got anything so I left. Well 17th of Jan I got a letter in the mail from my old house stating that he decided to take me to mediation. I am of course I'm out of state and the only reason I ended up with it was because my mom still lived there. He has NEVER done anything to help with my daughter. No money nothing all he cared about was drinking and selling drugs. Never kept a job. Well after I moved he stopped calling me I figured because he was watching my house and realized I wasn't there. When he did have contact with my daughter he would keep her once a week and he ended up putting her in danger decided that he wanted to drink and run off and leave my daughter with his grandmother who is about crazy. Then comes to find out he didn't have his mom pick up formula (she was about 4 month old) and had been feeding her water ALL night. The last bottle she had was the one I brought with me that evening and it old had like 4 or 5 oz in it. So needless to say he was no longer aloud to have her alone. Oh he is also on house arrest. He can't leave his home from 7p,m to 7am. He is considered a felon as well.



Anyway to get to my point I cut off all ties with him after he was arrested for stabbing that man. Well today he called me this morning asking if I got the letter in the mail about mediation I told him yes. Then was saying how all he was wanting to know if she was ok. If I would be willing to meet up with him somewhere once or twice a year and call once or twice a month. So I thought about and told him if I agreed to this could we avoid going to court. He said yes so we agreed to this and went on. It was the nicest conversation we have had in over a year. So I thought ok well maybe this will work and hes actually changed so maybe we can pursue something and work it out since he was so mature about it.



WRONG! On boy was a wrong he called me about 2 hours later saying well I have changed my mind I don't want you to have control over my daughter and when I can see here. I'm taking the ball out of your hands and putting it in my court. Blah blah blah. So now it looks like we are going to court. Assuming they no where I live and can serve me. Oh and I documented the conversations too.



So now I'm worried he has NO business raising a child and I'm just tryin to figure out what will happen. I have spoke with my attorney now i'm waiting on him to call me back. But i'm worried he will get every other weekend and she doesn't need to be with his family they are all criminals no job do drugs kind of people. Everytime I think about him taking my little girl for a weekend makes me stomach turn. She has been in my care since she was born he has NO relationship with her. Mostly because he was in jail more then anything. I'm just don't know what to think or do. Will they give my little girl to him or can I push for just supervised visitation. Please HELP me!!! Thank you in advanced!

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Amber - posted on 02/07/2012

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Thank you Michelle. I actually changed my number today because he kept calling me. Plus all his family members have my number thanks to him so they would always call me I was paying 10 dollars a month more on my cell phone to get it aloud me to block up to 15 numbers needless to say it was almost full. So I changed my number.

Michelle - posted on 02/07/2012

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Given the circumstances I doubt if he would get more then supervised visitation. Given you did all the appropriate things to move, I'm not sure he'll get a lot of that. Keep documenting things, and push for supervised visitation. While he's asking for visitation you should be asking for some child support. There's a formula used for that, so if he's not making much don't expect much, but it's better then nothing. Keep your attorney involved in the whole process so you don't get talked into something that you're not comfortable with and can't undo. I'd also maybe file a restraining order barring all contact unless it involves your daughter. Good luck!

Amber - posted on 02/07/2012

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Thank you Sarah. I'm trying my hardest to stay strong and protecting my little girl. I am going to take a look at the websites. Thank you again.

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2012

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I haven't had personal experience with this sort of thing, child custody-wise. But just wanted to say WAY TO GO!

Good for you for being so strong and protecting your child!

The biggest things with legal issues (I've had a little more experience with those) is documentation. If, heaven forbid, it all comes down to what you can prove in court, be sure you have proof. If you are recording the conversations with the ex, ask your attorney but, you may need to tell him that at the beginning of the call. If he hangs up and doesn't want to talk over the phone then great any contact you have with him you will have a copy of because it will have to be in writing.

I did a search for "mom's rights" & these look like they might be good places to start looking for reassurance and help.



www.searchmothers.com/mothers/mothers-rights.php



www.singlemomsfinancialhelp.net/single-mothers-legal-rights



Saying a prayer for you when I'm done typing this.

Stay Strong Mama!