lost family member on xmass

Kelsey - posted on 12/27/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i just lost my brother in law on the 24th of december. this is the first family member i have every lost that i have spent much time with and been really close and it has just been a hard time for me. his brother*my husband* and i have a little girl who is 2 1/2 who absoultly loved her uncle and we are having a hard time trying to keep it together in front of her. she knows that he is gone and that we wont see him for a very long time but its still hard. he was only 22 and passed away from an asthma attack...him and his gf have a son on the way in just 5 weeks...its not fair that he could be taken away from all of us and not even get the chance to meet his own son... i just dont know what to do or where to turn right now im a mess

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Jane - posted on 12/27/2011

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I lost my husband and the father of my children suddenly on December 8 last year, and then my mother on September 11 of this year. I know how hard this Christmas must be for you all. All of you need to mourn, and each will mourn on your own schedule. And life is NOT fair. But it goes on. You need to find a way to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Your daughter needs you to help her heal, too, but that doesn't mean you cannot cry in front of her. However, you do need to explain your feelings of loss to her in terms she will understand. When my daughter was three and we lost my grandmother, a family friend, a neighbor and our cat all within a week's time, she decided that everyone had gone to God's house to play cards and that they were having so much fun that they were happy to stay there until someday when we could go, too. It may not have been liturgically correct but it allowed her to make sense of their sudden absence.

For now you might seek out a grief counseling group so you can voice your feelings and start to heal. You will always miss him but eventually your memories will be gentler than they are now. Good luck - time will make it less painful.

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Shannintipton - posted on 12/28/2011

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OMG Kelsey, that is so sad. I am so sorry. I wish you all the best. :(

Kelsey - posted on 12/28/2011

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thanks to the both of you. jane- we have told mi daughter that her uncle went to go visit with grandpa and that we wont see him for a long time but we will again.

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