MIL.........

Brie - posted on 05/08/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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ok here goes...
after me and hubby first got together we were living with his mom... (they live in an old remodeled two story school house from the 1800's) his older brother lived there also... they all "worked" but my hubby was the only one with steady income... his brother worked off and on for a private company and his mom worked like one day this week and two days the next (alternating weekly) so ultimately he was the money maker... i lived there for about a month before i was able to get a job... at first it was all good then all of a sudden she started being kinda hateful to me... before i got a job i watched my nephew so my SIL could work and my MIL could work and nobody had to take off work and since my MIL was a dish washer for like 8 hours a day I would make sure that the dishes were done everyday she had to work so she didn't have to worry about it when she got home and then I would offer to help around the house... I was told later on by my SIL that she would run her mouth at work (she is partially deaf so she talks very loud, they work together in a mom and pop restaurant) about how i would never help her with anything!! I would also stay down in mine and hubbys room until a certain time everyday so i wouldn't be in her face all the time and she accused me of being lazy and sleeping all day also even though she would come down there at times and talk to me... after i got a job she pulled up some BS about owing her back rent and what not... Then his brother got into it... he tried to start a fight between me and hubby at a bonfire we had.. then they would make snide comments to me or at me as the walked or drove away... I rarely spoke with my family (who lived on the other side of the state) because they didn't have free long distance and the only time i would is if it was very very important or they called me... one day as they left they hollered out the truck window ok brittany now go call all your mom and his mom hollered and the rest of your family... finally i told hubby i loved him to death but i couldn't handle it anymore... he was at the end of his rope too because he said they would do this with anyone he was with... so we planned to move over with my family... so of course i got treated even worse... we moved over with my family and never really spoke to any inlaws other than SIL.. I want to note here that i was told by several people that i hadn't done anything to deserve this including hubby!! well a few months after we come out here we find out i am pregnant... ever since we told them its all I love yous and stuff like that and sweet as sugar or completely ignoring my presence unless hubby or SIL is around.. occasionally she will do other things like shut doors in my face or what not as long as nobody is looking... I love my SIL and niece and nephew to death and look forward to seeing them everytime we visit (his sis lives with their mom right now) but other than that i dread it and i know it hurts him because his mom and brother are so childish but I have done everything i can to be nice and I just can't do anymore i am at my wits end...
another side note... hubby was married once before and they have a kid together.. when they seperated ex took off with his son (boy was 3 and he is now 8) we are currently searching for him... but i think the only reason they are being "nice" to me is because they are afraid i will do the same....
my big issue is that i want her to like me and be nice to me because of me not because of my son.. when we visit now its a hug hello and a hug goodbye and I love you and all i can do is think whatever bitch fuck off...
I HATE THE WOMAN!!!
I also found out she had run her mouth about me to some of hubbys family i hadn't and haven't met and automatically they didn't like me then they got to know me and said well you aren't that bad at all... I have a SIL i haven't met yet and I know she believes every word her mother said to her about me...
she did apologize to me for the way she treated me when living there but i didn't feel it was sincere at all and she has still done hateful things to me... the door in my face was the weekend before last... they have locked us out of the house when we come home from long shifts at work and turned our cable of in the bedroom because they set up rules while we were gone and posted them on the fridge because they didn't have the balls to do it while we were home... things like the tv goes off at like 9 or 10 pm and other stupid shit... we were like ok thought we were all adults here... there have been other things but this post is long enough... I needed to vent and thought i would put this out here to see what other moms have to say about this mother in law from beyond hell..... I want the awesome mother in law my mom or dad had... WTF?!?!?!?

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Louise - posted on 05/10/2011

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i am afraid this woman is in your life whether you like it or not as she is your husbands mum. So I suggest you keep your distance and just accept that she is a cow. Visit when you have to and be all sweetness and life and then let her stew in her evil mouth. At some point his family will have to accept you for who you are and not what she says you are. People will get fed up with the bad mouthing. She obviously feels threatend by your hold on her son and feels the need to talk you down. She will EVENTUALLY get over herself and realise what a silly bitch she has been. I never had a good start with my mother in law either as she had heard things from an ex's mum that was a load of rubbish. It took me about 10 years to crack her and now we are good friends and she often supports me rather than her son in things. Just stay pleasant because this really gets up there nose when you give them no reason to bitch!

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Brie - posted on 05/10/2011

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Yeah i know i pretty much haveto deal with it and be the bigger person but it feels so much better letting it all out here and knowing i'm not the only one with a MIL from hell lol! i do my best at killing her with kindness but sometimes it gets to be too much and i have to walk away... oh and hubby and i were talking yesterday about the trip and we both noticed (and thought was funny) how everytime his brother went to pick up our son he would scream lol!! as far as his brother is concerned let me give you aa little insight into him... he is in his late 30's and has only ever had one girlfriend that they know of and he has never left home! thought this was relatively amusing to me but yeah..
and Louise the whole point is I haven't done anything to give her a reason to bitch in the first place...

Sneaky - posted on 05/09/2011

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I think that that is a really good insight into your MIL - that she is miserable since her husband passed. Doesn't give her an excuse, but it makes some rational sense of the situation. I would be tempted to feel sorry for her and look on all her hatefulness as a pathetic attempt for attention. It could help you feel better about the situation if you could look at it from a different angle and know that it has nothing to do with you - SHE is the one with a huge problem.

Brie - posted on 05/09/2011

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lol i know we don't see her often but when we do its freakin horrible!! i just got a mothers day card in the mail from her about being the greatest daughter in law ever and obviously that makes me a good mom!! bet it killed her to lick the stamp...

i have tried talking to hubby but he gets so stressed about it and he supports me but at the same time it is his mom so i know it upsets him...

she is also the kind of woman who talks shit about everyone.., something my hubby told me was that she never acted this way till his dad died.. he said his dad wouldn't have stood for it.. so i kind of wonder if because she is miserable without him she tries to make everyone else miserable too! it was kind of funny to though that she was sending the hearts and stuff to people for mothers day like her daughters and others people i know she has really no contact with at all and doesn't even really know here on facebook and i didn't get squat lol... it doesn't bother me its just kind of like wow... really?!?!

Sneaky - posted on 05/09/2011

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The general 'rule' I try to live by is: life is too short for this type of crap. You could be enjoying your son while he is small or laughing with your husband but because of this yucky mean woman you have lost that time to being stressed out instead :o( She really does not seem like she would be worth the effort so if I was in that position I would just avoid her as much as possible, and if she tried any of that disrespectful crap on me (like closing the door in my face) I would take her up on it - I would try to be calm, but I would definitely let her know that that s*** will not fly with me. However, I am a bitch and I really do not care what anyone thinks of me, so burning bridges with my MIL would not cause me to lose any sleep.

I am happy to read more of your vents about her - it might give insight into what her problem is, but from what you have said so far I doubt she is worth the effort :o(.

I'm sorry you have such a source of discontent in your life.

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