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my husbands addiction...

Megan - posted on 09/08/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I dont know what to do at this point but i feel i have lost my husband.
In the morning he wakes up and plays world of war craft he comes home and plays it on his lunch and after work hes on it all night. Chores are not getting done he expects me to do all of them. Im literally exhausted. I have gotten to the point where i feel like his carelessness is effecting me, He doesnt care to do chores and i refuse to do what he has agreed to do. For instance its his turn for dishes, i refuse to do them because he literally waits for me to break down and do them , he will complain that theres nothing clean so i tell him to wash something because i just dont want to do it anymopre im to the point where i only wash what i need. he doesnt pick up after himself he leaves plates and garbage next to his computer and i am coming quite sick of it. I have tried telling him that i feel like he doesnt want to spend time with me or the family and his way to fix it was getting an account for me on World of warcraft so we can "spend time together, Though this was a thoughtful gesture it doesn not help with any of my other issues. He was been playing intill 4 am and when it comes to helping with the baby he absolutely refuses to get up in the morning because hes tired, I cant stay up because i know he wont help... i have tried to force him to watch our son by leaving for the gym to try and get relieved of some stress but now i just worry about my son because i come home to a baby who hasnt been fed has a dirty diaper and has been left gated off in the living room or in his crib while my husband plays his game...i simply dont know what to do anymore i have tried packing up and leaving but i love him too much ... they dont cover this in rehab and i feel that its tearing my family apart i simply dont want to just leave him especially because my family is in another state and he states that if i leave with our child he will claim kidnapping i love him but he isnt who he used all he is is a zombie at a computer, i feel no communication. we fight more often and i feel he thinks that if he sits down with me and makes one good day out of a few weeks i should stay. i dont know i feel like everythings going to get better but then he goes right back to his game i wish i knew what to do

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Tina - posted on 08/17/2012

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I dnt know what to do at this point either I'm 22 weeks preg with my first child its a girl I'm stayn with family and the father of my baby wa to intill he got cought smoken weed n they kicked him out he went to the mens shelter n started selling crack got kicked out of the shelter and started living with a gay couple and it was a bad neighborhood with bad people but I still gave it a chanch we r haven our first child n we been togather for three years I thought I could make it work the day befor his bday he came over to spend the night because the ultasound was the next day he got drunk whyke I was sleep and told one of our good friends that he has been smoking crack but they dnt inform me what was happening so that night he went to where he was staying smoked crack and cheated on me I dnt know how I can handle this or if I should even try to make this work I'm toren how should I deal with this

Krista - posted on 09/09/2010

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This is no different than any other addiction -- what would you do if you left the house and your husband neglected your child because he was too busy smoking crack? It's one thing for him to neglect the housework, but this is a completely different matter.

WOW addiction is common, sadly. It's an escape from the drudgery of real life, and it gives people a false sense of accomplishment.

Regardless, you have to treat this like any other addiction. Your first step is to find a counsellor who specializes in addiction issues -- your hospital could probably recommend someone. Go see her (bring your baby with you), and tell her everything -- don't hold back. Addictions are powerful, and you might NOT win against it. But at least having someone guide you through this process will help you feel less alone and lost.

Oh, and if you do ultimately decide to leave him, get a lawyer's advice regarding that whole kidnapping bit.

Mylene - posted on 09/09/2010

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I agree with Katherine on this. Addicts are unpredictable and taking their "drug" away is certainly not the way to go.

Most likely, he doesn't even see that it has become a problem.

Katherine - posted on 09/08/2010

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I wouldn't recommend taking the game. That would make him go apeshit. You guys need counseling before your marriage disippates. NEVER take something away from an addict. Unless you want your house ruined, your husband screaming at you and your kids crying.

Chrissy - posted on 09/08/2010

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Take the game of your PC, unplug the computer and hide the cords until he sees that he is neglecting his family for this game. Let him know again that him playing this game constantly is making you think about leaving him with your child. I feel for you hun! ~hugs~ I hope all gets better :)

Mylene - posted on 09/08/2010

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Maybe you could contact a local addiction clinic or help line and they can suggest something to you. I know how difficult living with any type of addict is.

hang in there

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