No-one to back me up

Jodi - posted on 11/20/2011

If he is only 3 it is too soon to have a definitive diagnosis of ADHD, because MOST toddlers display behaviour consistent with ADHD. It really isn't diagnosable until they are 5 or 6. That is not to say it ISN'T ADHD, just that it shouldn't be diagnosed at this age.

Amanda, have you considered his behaviour may be linked to a food of some sort? Some children have greater sensitivity to certain food additives than others. It could be anything. For instance, I have two children who react to red colouring in anything, it really escalates their behaviour. So I avoid it when I can (although as they have gotten older, it is less of a problem). But I also know of children who react to certain preservatives, and another that reacts to yellow colouring.

Anyway, just a thought worth exploring if you haven't already.

Shannen - posted on 11/20/2011

My 3 year old boy is a terror most days. ADHD ahouldn't be diagnosed until they are of school age, so around 6 or 7 years old. By all means get your son assesed but remember he is 3 and from majority of 3 yr old boys I have seen they are all Hyper.

Amanda - posted on 11/18/2011

Marina I have already said that to him. If he doesn't want to be involved in all the appointments and dealing with the hard stuff then he has no say in the outcome and how to handle him.
I am more than prepared to deal with it on my own, sometimes its easier that way and you know things get done properly.
Emma, I'm glad I'm not the only one that has to deal with parents that are in denial of these things. After all we're only putting our kids first by asking for help, you'd think they would support our decisions

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2011

I haven't read all the posts, but can you insist that your husband goes with you to hear what the specialist has to say? Don't give him a choice in the matter...tell him if he thinks it is such a waste of time, to come and see the evaluation for himself, and to listen to the doctor with his own ears. That you need his support, and if you have to do it solo, then you are going to deal with things solo and he has no further say in how things are handled.

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

Right.

Stifler's - posted on 11/17/2011

Yeah Post Natal you guys it's Post Partum? My dad is a registered nurse and I am convinced more and more every day that he is a brainwashed christian who doesn't believe in mental health issues.

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

Yeah, I have PMDD and mine pretty much deny it too AND PPD, you guys call it PND.

Stifler's - posted on 11/17/2011

argh they sound like my parents would be like. they deny that PND exists and reckoned that i should get over it and not take meds even if the doctor said i should. you should take him to see the therapise because it's you who has to deal with him all day everyday not them.

Amanda - posted on 11/17/2011

My husbands sensitive to all that stuff so I don't buy anything with added preservatives, sugars or food dyes, anything like that.

I make my own cupcakes and iceblocks as occassional treats for the kids and apart from that they only eat fresh fruit and veggies. I don't give them anything processed, and where I shop has made a point of removing all additives and preservitives and most sugars

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

Have you tried cutting out food dyes? That can contribute a lot. Like high fructose corn syrup and red dyes.

Amanda - posted on 11/17/2011

I'm hoping that the therapist will give me some strategies that I haven't tried yet with him, then I'm going to sit everyone down and explain to them what has been said and what we need to do to curb the behaviours. If they can't abide by what needs to happen then I will have to limit any time that they spend with him.

They said it was my lack of parenting skills and I let both the kids walk all over me. Funny how they don't see the kids that often and I'm practically bringing them up on my own coz hubby does shift work and says I don't let them get away with anything and I'm too hard on them.

The original doctor that gave me the referral only said he might have ADHD, she wasn't qualified to diagnose him so has sent us on.
Hubby has no interest in going full stop and I know he will try and disuade me from going nearer the time.

They seem to see it that I'm a failure because I have been seeking professional help without their consent because they don't see my son as a problem, and because my husband was an absolute horrible child I have to "woman up" (my FILs words) and deal with it.

Anyway I'm hoping that he doesn't have ADHD and I can find another way of dealing with him.

On the upside he has been an absolute angel today, I think he's been kidnapped and replaced overnight

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

That sounds really hard. Maybe you can talk to the therapist about using some tools to help them understand? Your husband isn't even willing to go I take it?
How can they blame YOU? ADHD is a chemical imbalance. If you as a mother in your gut feel like something is wrong, you are probably right.
That makes me angry. He has a father too that contributes to behavior. How could it possibly be ALL your fault?