pregnancy is pain dammit!

Ashley - posted on 12/14/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My husband is a great man... normally. Lately I am wishing he would see that at 8 1/2m pregnant I need HELP and lots of it. I am sore! I am tired! I chase around 2 boys everyday for 12hrs and when he gets home he wants to relax. I get that he is tired too but I am shouldering the whole load. Things are falling apart and he comments and says I need better time management. I cry after these "conversations". I tell him frequently that before I got pregnant (even for alot of this pregnancy) I took care of the house and cleaning but now my energy is 0 all the time. I would think he would want me to rest before the baby comes and help out a little in the stuff I cannot do. Like sweeping vaccuming AND washing the floors. if I do one room at a time he says I am half assing it. and if I mention my back is killing me in anyway he says it is just 9 months and his is always (he is a framer/drywaller) so I get he is sore too but I mean c'mon give a little sympathy to the woman carrying 60lbs excess! I am a great housekeeper generally but I mean this is pathetic that he can assume I will be able to continue this when I am about to pop!

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Ashley - posted on 12/16/2011

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Teresa I should use that line :) Though today without prompting he cleaned the bottles and recycling (which was normally my job) and he did the dishes though mostly b/c I took our son to the clinic. He was very helpful with the everyday somethings... now I just need him to get going on some deep cleaning :P

Teresa - posted on 12/16/2011

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I'm on bedrest, and where is he? They just cannot comprehend it, BUT they can be empathetic about it. I just don't do it, actually, I can't. At 28 weeks my crvix has thinned to 1.2 cm so bedrest it is. LIke I tell my husband, "If you have the energy and where-with-all to bitch about it, then you can clean it."

Becky - posted on 12/16/2011

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I hear you! This is my 3rd pregnancy too -I"m only 7 1/2 months - and my husband seems to have lost his sympathy bone this time around! Maybe it's because I was really sick with the first 2 and this time I haven't been, so he forgets that being sick isn't the only pain of pregnancy. I've been lucky to have a pretty good pregnancy this time around, but I still have no energy and at this point, I'm starting to get a lot of pelvic, hip, and lower abdominal pain. Sometimes I can barely walk, and he still doesn't get up and help me! My solution is, if it hurts or I'm too tired to do it, I just don't! Unless it absolutely needs to be done. If he doesn't like it, he can do it himself!
I'm sorry you're not getting any help!

Ashley - posted on 12/14/2011

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funnily he was awesome with the first 2 pregnancies, it has just been this one about the last 2 months... when I have really needed the most help. I know he will be there for me when baby comes b/c he is really good with the kids if he isn't working on the weekends he takes them away so I can rest. but recently we lost our family vehicle (which I know is stressful b/c he has to work more hours to pay to get it road worthy again) so now he cannot take both boys only one at a time which leaves me with a child all the time. When he left he would be gone all day which is when I would clean b/c I could rest for a proper amount of time in between jobs. I guess the hard part is knowing that other than being able to take the kids away he refuses to do the actual work to keep our house clean

Katherine - posted on 12/14/2011

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My ex was like that. Maybe a good talking to with your doctor would straighten him out. That's what I did. He just couldn't understand that I was PREGNANT. DUH!

Medic - posted on 12/14/2011

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Tell him to kiss your ass and since you have 60 extra pounds he better start early because that is an all day job. Eff him, thank god my hubby helped out and did everything (I was on bedrest) because the dr scared the crap outta him about me loosing the baby or possibly him loosing me.

Christy - posted on 12/14/2011

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If I were you, I would just stop doing everything other than taking care of your 2 other boys (primarily for your health)! You don't need him barking at you about how you aren't doing things right. Hell, it's only a couple of more weeks, and after baby is here probably more time to not be able to get the house the way he wants it!

Kellie - posted on 12/14/2011

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I think if it doesn't impact them personally they just don't give a fuck. They think because they go 'out' and work we do nothing and or should do everything else.

Denikka - posted on 12/14/2011

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My hubby was the same way during my first pregnancy. They just don't get it. They can't. Unless you buy him a pregnancy suit and make him wear it for at least a few days straight, he won't understand the limitations it puts on you physically, never mind what it does to your energy levels.
I don't have the answers XP just know you aren't alone :)

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