Reading my private diary!!!!!

Veronique - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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Ok, so i started a private diary about 1 month ago because i realized that i had to much anger and couldn't express my feelings to my husband. So i decided to start a diary, not just about him but about everything in life. On saturday he found it ( it was in my purse ) and started reading it. Like what the hell is your problem, JERK!!!!!!!! So he comes and sees me and swings the diary in my face and says i have a lot of explaning to do. I'm like Ummmmm no you have explaining to do. So we got in to this HUGE argument about that. He said i had no rights to a diary, i have no rights to privacy????? EXCUSE ME! Your kidding RIGHT. I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO PRIVACY. Well that was the last straw. He said if i needed to vent i should get more friends and bitch to them about him. Yeah that's right it's better to let the whole world know my relationship problems then to have a private diary that i can let steam out and if i regret anything i wrote just rip the page out. Is that better! So he got his wish, here i am VENTING to the world about my jackass husband. Hope he's happy!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah and he also told me that he never wants to see or find that i have a diary. WELL THEN DON'T GO LOOKING FOR IT MOTHER F @#^$# GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Sorry girls but that felt really good! I guess i'll be here more often venting about his stupid ass :)

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Amber - posted on 05/03/2011

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Chad would be sleeping on the front lawn for a month! He doesn't even touch my phone or purse, let alone anything that I write down unless it's addressed to him. I don't go through his things either; we both have lives separate from each other.

I agree with the other ladies. Check everything on his person as soon as he walks through the door, inspect his car, open his mail for him, answer every phone call, interrogate his friends to find out what he's talking to them about, or better yet ask him to wear a recorder at all times so that you can listen to his entire day on tape when he gets home. If he wants no privacy, give it to him. Open the door while he's in the bathroom, send a friend in to "powder her nose" while he's showering....I've got a million more ideas, but I'm pretty sure you see where I'm going.

Chad knows better because he knows how far I'll go just to prove my point. He's made the mistake of saying inflammatory things twice in 5 years....the second time it took him less than 2 minutes to apologize and change his view point. A swift kick in the ass (metaphorically speaking) was all he needed.

Oh, and they have online diaries that you can password protect. It's like a blog, but nobody can read it except for you. You don't have to use your real name, and he'll be none the wiser....unless of course you want to rub it in :) haha

I'm an evil witch sometimes! I guess twice in 5 years isn't horrible though.

Bonnie - posted on 05/02/2011

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Holy cow, you are your own person. You might be married, but he does not own you. I don't think he realizes what he just asked you to do. Now the whole world can laugh at him bahahaha.

Jackie - posted on 05/02/2011

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Just because you're married does not mean that you are not your own person with thoughts, feelings and opinions. When you married him, you didn't sign over your personality and your brain. I'm super pissed off for you. I know it's easy for any of us to say but I would tell him to shove it up his high and mighty, chauvinistic ass. Even if you decide to stick it out, you probably won't have the same respect for him.

Jackie - posted on 05/02/2011

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Personally - that would be a total deal breaker for me. I hope you go through every single piece of personal info he has! Cell phone texts and calls, emails, internet history,bills, pockets, dressers, closets... EVERYTHING! See how he likes it. jerk

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Anika - posted on 10/16/2012

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As a grown woman, you deserve to have your own private thoughts. that behavior seems a little controlling to me. Have you guys tried counseling? I wish you both the best! :-)

Erica - posted on 10/12/2012

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Wow.... some husbands are asses... personally id give him his own medicine (good going on the shower) and make him regret the no privacy thing... i find it all strange considering every male i know has a huge thing against going into thier gfs or wifes bag (mine only slightly got over it when i kept telling him to look for a dummy) and my fiance the one that encouraged me to get a diary!!! men are weird...

Bethany - posted on 06/15/2012

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for me its weird to see so many comments about purses/ bags being a deep dark private place, but by no means am i condoning what the shithead did, if you feel the need to have your space in ur bag then cool, but reading a dairy wtf?? i have no problem with my partner going thru my phone and bag infact i encourage it as i dont have anything to hide from him and its easier for him to rummage for a dummy in there when im driving or trying to settle a sooky lala away from home, but i would def draw the line at a dairy there were several times that i had to get shit out of my system but couldnt say it cos it would come out all wrong and once a spoken word said it can never be retrieved but on paper as you said it can be torn out and re writen if need be...
as for ur hubbys reaction as im sure every1 is aware men can over react to the smallest critisim of them, and insecureties can manifest in the whole dominance issue again....

n well done on the busting in on the bathroom thing way to show him!! GOOD LUCK ox

Rachel - posted on 06/12/2012

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What jumps out at me is that you couldn't talk to your husband about your feelings. If that is the case, maybe you shouldn't have written it all down for him to find, but seen a therapist. You should be able to talk to your husband about anything.

Veronique - posted on 05/03/2011

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No i really don't think he's cheating. He doesn't go out with friends, and when he does go out it's with me and our daughters. He runs a business and rarely takes a lunch break so he wouldn't do it there. I was just saying that they way he's acting it's like i've cheated before ( i've never done that ) or he's cheating which i really don't think so. I think he's really just afraid of losing me which i've never given him a doubt to think that. Maybe he's going threw a mid life crissis. He is 19 years older then me and maybe he sees that if i wanted i still have time to find someone else and well he's got not so much time. I don't know what's going on in his head but like i said for the last few months things have been getting bad. He called me at work today and said he was sorry for how he's been acting, that i'm his bestfriend and doesn't like to argue with me!!!!!!!!!
Anyway like i told him i would rather write in my diary instead of hanging my laundry out for everyone to see but i will to it his way and tell everybody how he's a dumb ass jerk lol

Jackie - posted on 05/03/2011

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Alot of times when a man is acting that way it's because he has a guilty conscience. I really hope that isn't the case.

One day he'll realize that you having a diary was a mature, grown up thing to do rather than blast your personal laundry all over the damn place.

Veronique - posted on 05/03/2011

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HA, yesterday he was in the bathroom and i just walk in and started talking to him, he's like "Can i have privacy " and i said " Oh but you said that there's no such thing as privacy in this house" so he says "Yeah very funny, get out" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He'll get a taste of his own medicine. I don't understand because he was never like this before, only in the last few months has he become more controlling. My mom says that men who fear that there wives of cheating is because most is the time they're the ones cheating. At this point is ever i find out that he's cheating it will give me that much more balls to leave and really not care. I'll take our daughters and just leave.

Firebird - posted on 05/02/2011

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Geez even MY ex was more respectful than that! I write poetry, it's basically, my alternative to a diary. The first time I let him read one of my poems, he done fucked up and got himself banned from ever reading my stuff again. And he didn't. He never went through my book, nor did he read what I wrote on our computer.

And if he ever actually did read anything, he had enough sense not to let me find out. And he was the kind of guy that didn't think there should be a single tiny secret allowed between us. He was insistent that it was his right to know every single ridiculous detail about my life. Even the shit that was so far gone I couldn't remember it! lol

What an asshole, I would be so pissed. That is not cool.

Stifler's - posted on 05/02/2011

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Boo! I would start checking his phone and stuff when he got home from work just to make a big deal of it. I hate it when people go through my stuff. I don't think we have to share everything with our husbands, especially not diaries and text messages and email.

Jayce - posted on 05/02/2011

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I like Lissa's idea.

What an ass! He went through your purse? He would rather you vent in public than in private? Is his head screwed on right (the one on his shoulders, I mean)? My hubby wouldn't go throught my purse or read my diary. But he did seem a little miffed when i wouldn't tell him my email password but he didn't press it - smart move on his part.

Sneaky - posted on 05/02/2011

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P.S. Tonya - I hit the 'funny' button because there is not a 'cringe' button. Oh fuck - that would have been one hell of a fight!

Sneaky - posted on 05/02/2011

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Jerk husband aside, I think it is wonderful that you started a diary to get your feelings out - maybe he is just jealous that you are in a healthier mental place than him?

Lacye - posted on 05/02/2011

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Woah! He went through your purse? Ok. Even if we don't even take the personal diary into consideration, that is still a fucking violation of trust right there! My husband wouldn't dare! Now to the diary, I think it was a great idea to use it to blow off steam. I mean really! That is just awesome! He had no right to go through it and he is definately a dumbass for saying you have no right to have one! Tell him to go suck his left nut!

Veronique - posted on 05/02/2011

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@ Jen hahahahaha, no offense taken! He can be a big jerk at times. Actually lately it's everyday :)

Laura - posted on 05/02/2011

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????? Why in the hell would he want you to complain about him to people rather than complain to a piece of paper that no one is supposed to ever see??? And the only time my husband will go through my purse is if I ask him to get something out. How would he feel if you grabbed his wallet and started snooping though it?

My hubby made that mistake when he was trying to see if I was still smoking. He got in more trouble searching through my purse than I did for having cigs. :)

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Tell your husband that I personally think he's a self-centered, insecure dork. No offense. :)

Veronique - posted on 05/02/2011

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Thanks Jackie! Your right on everything, mostly that i've lost respect for him.
You know his dad cheated on his mom for over 25 years even when she was dying he still had his gf and she kept a diary for like 25 years, his father alwats suspected a diary but never went hunting for it. When she died my husband found it and read parts of it and decided not to let his father have it and threw it in the trash. Well when he found mine and brought up the fact that his mom had one and she suffered so much because she had none to talk to about how she felt.He said i should learn and communicate better but i told him sometimes the things that i feel inside is not always what i want to say so i would rather write it out and then if still really i feel that way and want to talk then i'll say something but that's not good enough for him. So like i said i will tell the world all our problems and see how he likes that better.......

Veronique - posted on 05/02/2011

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Ok, so i see i was right on this one. This is so not right for him to have done this. I mean, really!!!!!! You know the thing that really sucks is that our relationship is been going form bad to worse in the last few months and for him to not respect my space like that and to not trust says a lot. I don't want to leave him, but really this is just to much for me handle. Everyone deserves and needs privacy, married or not. It's part of who you are and what you need as a human. I'm not a hostage nor am i in prison.......I just can't get over this. And you want to know the worst part he was willing to walk out on me for having that diary. ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE walk out on me, i should be waling out on you for the disrespect!!!!!! He's got a loose bolt somewhere in that head of his.

Kate CP - posted on 05/02/2011

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What kind of asshole does that?! I mean...seriously? My husband would N E V E R go through my stuff like that and even if he did he wouldn't EVER embarrass me by laying it all out on the table or taunting me with the fact that he read my diary.

I would kick his ass out, too!

Lissa - posted on 05/02/2011

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Total arsehole, if it were me(since you shouldn't have anything private) I would take a page from that diary and blow it up on to a great big poster. I would take said poster and put it somewhere very noticeable and very public and possibly with a picture of the man in question.

Mabel - posted on 05/02/2011

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I got a better one..My hubby sent me to the store for something one night and when I got back he had "found" my (toys) cough cough...he had them sitting on the living room table for me when I walked in the house.You want to talk about a fight !!!I actually kicked him out of the house and told him he needed to go back to his job on the road(he had just taken off for 2 weeks and went back to work in less than a week)what a vacation!

Veronique - posted on 05/02/2011

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Hahahaha! Well he did say to find friends and vent to them. So that's what i'm doing, what i didn't like is when he said i have no writes to privacy. Yeah ok buddy. Watch me, now more then ever i will push this privacy issue. HA watch me now :)

Katherine - posted on 05/02/2011

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LOL, not cool at all! I'm laughing because you got it all out and said how good it felt, not because of your situation. He had absolutely NO right to invade your privacy like that!
Mine used to go through my cell phone and although I had nothing to hide I still hated it. He also went through my purse!!! It really pissed me off, and you can swear too. No one cares, we all do it. I would have had a conniption!!

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