so I just got married and had nothing but tears since

Nikki - posted on 03/11/2011

I think it's the anti climax for women, you spend all this time planning and looking forward to your wedding then it's over and you feel down, I think it felt a bit like having the baby blues.

Georgia - posted on 03/11/2011

Why was the piece of paper and party supposed to change anything? Don't get me wrong, I did that too with my first husband and it started a downward spiral for us.

Men just go about their lives... Doing what they do, day in and day out. Women think getting married means we should literally "become as one", right down to the telepathy. But we don't send that memo to our partners, and then get the shits with them when they keep doing the same thing they always did.

I think he knew that you were upset, but totally baffled as to why. Appreciate that he apologized and made the effort. Negating a behaviour will result in the exact circumstance if you were to negate a behaviour of your child. Do it often enough, and they'll stop all together. BTDT

Try to explain what your expectations are as a married couple and what you thought would be different. He may not get it, but it sounds like he's a good guy so he'd probably try.

Renae - posted on 03/11/2011

Did you know that lots and lots of women feel down and depressed after they get married? Its really very common and I cant help but wonder if its happening here. What happens is you might have expected something to change once you were married, you thought it would somehow feel different or more in love or something. But that's not usually the reality. The reality is once the high of the wedding is over it all goes back to normal and some women come crashing down when reality hits.

Just wanted you to know that if this is what is going on with you, that its very common and very normal.

Katherine - posted on 03/10/2011

And the older they get the more immature they get lol!

Mel - posted on 03/10/2011

yeah sounds like me, and my child health nurse said something similar the other day that she spent the day crying at the shopping centre after she got married. I guess guys really dont realise sometimes

Katherine - posted on 03/10/2011

Hey, every little thing is important and when you get married your expectations get higher. I remember feeling really abandoned when my husband used to do that shit to me. I would cry too.

I was like, "WE.ARE.MARRIED.NOW."

Mel - posted on 03/10/2011

yep I was discussing this with my counsellor this morning, I think he really didnt realise and I am greatful for the flowr cause its only the second time in 5 years. I think I will try my hardest to explain things to him. He spent time with me last nihjt watching law and order together sounds pretty dumb but at least we got to sit down together

Katherine - posted on 03/10/2011

I'm sure he had not a CLUE he was upsetting you. Men need it spelled out trust me. Even though it seems he should know, he really doesn't.

It's nice that he sent you flowers though.

Mel - posted on 03/09/2011

hes def made up for it, think he realised he upset me just takes alot to get thru to him, he sent me flowers today =) We used to spend some time together but since the wedding not much

Amber - posted on 03/09/2011

Are all of these behaviors different from before you got married? Would he usually sit down do watch a dvd and cuddle? Is it something that is regular? Did things actually change, or did your expectations change? And did you tell him that you wanted to spend time with him tonight or just have it planned out in your head without him knowing?

When one of my friends got married, this happened to her too. Because I knew them both so well, I was able to chat with her and she realized that nothing had changed except her perception of things. He was the same man, acting the same way, and doing the same things that she had never had a problem with before the wedding. After she realized that, they were great again. Still happily married.

It kind of sounds like you expected things to be really different because you are married, and are extremely disappointed that no miraculous change happened.
But...I don't know all the details or if any behavior has changed. So, I could be completely wrong. I'm just trying to help you the way that I was able to help her.