Stupid things people say to single mothers

Katherine - posted on 01/16/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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In reference to our children:



“Is his father in the picture?” Ugh. That’s so rude. Why would you ask that question like he isn’t? And even more importantly, why would you feel comfortable enough to pose that, like you’re inquiring about where I got my sweater or who did my hair? Rude party of one.



“Maybe she’s acting out because… you know… dad’s not around.” Maybe she is. So what’s your excuse?



“Who’s his daddy?” Wow. Well, since we’re tossing social etiquette to the wind: how much do you weigh? What did you bring home on your taxes last year? Make you feel uncomfortable? OK, that’s how we feel too.



All up in our love lives:



“No man is going to want you with all of those kids.” Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Thanks for making that point. And what, praytell, would you suggest I do with these kids now that I have them? Trade them in for the man? Or give up on the man and just resign myself to a life of singleness? Bigger than that, that’s just a really mean thing to say. Sheesh.



“I’ll pray for a family for you and your daughter.” Before you get into that, you might need to go on ahead and pray that my hand doesn’t accidentally land across the back of your head. Contrary to what you might think, my daughter and I together are a family. Yep, just us. Adding a man does not make us better. We’re doing just fine by ourselves.



“You’ve got all them kids and now you want to be celibate?” Blank stare. No comment.



About our lives in general:



“I don’t know how you do it!” I don’t either. But it gets done, so let’s not overanalyze the logisitics. I’m walking on water here and I’m trying not to look down.



“Where’s [insert name of child]?” You know, I actually stopped being pregnant 13 years ago. That was the last time we were physiologically tied together. Sometimes she does gnaw loose from that coffle that apparently keeps up attached at the ankles.



“You look tired.” That’s because I am. But thank you for your transparency and honesty. Care to watch over my household while I take a nap?



OK single mamas, what do people say to you that just grates your last nerve?

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7 Comments

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Medic - posted on 01/17/2012

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"Well how are you going to raise that boy to be a man?"......Right after I left my husband....well you know I thought I would just drag any guy I meet into teaching my son how to be a man......I LEFT MY HUSBAND....every man in my life..ie dad, brothers, grandpa...friends....did not just mysteriously vanish.

Firebird - posted on 01/16/2012

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"There's no point for you to get a new boyfriend, you should just find someone who'll do the 'friends with benefits' thing." (said to me at age 24)



Yea ok, I'm really in no hurry to get another boyfriend ( I've been single for 2.5 years now) but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like one eventually!



"You've got your one. There's no need for you to have any more kids.... ever." (also said at 24)



I will decide how many kids I have thank you very much. As much as I love and adore my daughter, I would like another child eventually. I'm only 26, I have lots of time!

Tah - posted on 01/16/2012

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Well Carolee....waiting for the "J/K"....."sike"..."just kidding"..cause that this can't be life...not where people ask things like that...

Carolee - posted on 01/16/2012

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This is one I heard before I met my husband.



"So, when you start dating again, are you going to only date Mexicans so your son doesn't feel out of place?"



Really? That question is wrong on too many levels.

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