Wait. You weren't married?

Lacye - posted on 03/18/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I swear I hate some of the people in my town. They always automatically assume that just because I had a daughter with my now husband that we were married when she was first born. And when they find out that we weren't they make snotty comments about how we should have been married first before we had a kid. Well excuse me bitch. It's not like I was planning on getting pregnant when I did. I wasn't even sure at that time if my honey and I were going to be a lasting thing. I don't get why people are so judgemental about people having kids but not being married. It's retarded. Just because we weren't married didn't mean that we didn't care about each other or that it was a "wam bam thank you mam" kinda thing. Hell, we did get married. Just not before our daughter was born. I wanted to make sure he was somebody that I could love and trust first. I take marraige very seriously, which is why it took so long for us to actually tie the knot.

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17 Comments

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Kasie - posted on 04/23/2011

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People just like to think they're right. Things get instilled in their heads and they never change. I haven't been married and I have a 9 month old son, his dad and I aren't together anymore. Don't let them get to you, that's what they want.

Mel - posted on 04/23/2011

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I hate people like that I got married after my 2 girls were here but only because my nanna doesnt have alot longer to live , we would have wiated til we'd had all our kids and owned a house otherwise. Dont worry about stupid bitches

Erin - posted on 04/23/2011

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People in your town would hate me then. I've been single since my daughter's father bailed when I was 8 weeks pregnant. I must say (apart from my grandmother, which I expected), there has only been one person say anything negative about my situation. And that wasn't to my face, because this bitch knows I would have torn her a new one!

I refuse to have my life scrutinised by people who are FAR from perfect themselves. I don't need to justify my decisions to anyone, and nor do you. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier!

Ianina - posted on 04/21/2011

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Not married either, expecting twins in any seconds...hahaha
WHO CARES????
As far as I'm concerned we are more "married" than a lot of married couples I know

Katelyn - posted on 04/18/2011

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When me and my fiance had our son, I wanted to deck the one lady at the hospital. She was in charge of the birth certificate, social security number paper work and paternity all that good stuff. The first words out of her mouth "Since you guys aren't married, the paternity of the child isnt assumed to be the husband and we can make arrangements for a paternity test to be done." First of all I just wanted to deck her. Secondly, my fiance (who proposed to me earlier that day) told her that he'd just sign the papers three different times continued to ask me if i wanted a paternity test done wouldn't even look at him or acknowledge he was there. When she was done talking to ME I told her no we don't need one done we can just sign the papers...she tells him where to sign, he signs it. She turns to me and I was holding my son and hands me the papers to sign and my fiance says he'll take the baby so i could sign and she looked at him and said, "No, She needs to get used to doing things with one hand by herself now" ....mind you there were guests in our room and I just had a baby I am emotional and this mega bitch couldn't have been more rude!

I hate people who bash on us for having children out of wedlock!

Alex - posted on 03/23/2011

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i get the same crap. my fiance and i have been together for 8 years now and have 2 children together. we are commited to both our family and eachother. the only thing we are missing is a piece of paper! it's no one elses buisness how we decided to go about things and in what order! it works for us. plus, with the divorce rate so high, why does society put marriage on such a pedistal? it's a broken institution and people keep gettin married for the wrong reasons. having a child together is not a good reason. you have to make sure that you, as a couple, are compatible and in it for the long haul. i know we are, but other's aren't.

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Lacye- It's none of anyone's business what you do or who you do it with. It's your life and if you aren't hurting anyone no one has the right to judge you or make remarks. The nerve of people anyway! Who are they to think they can say something like that to you? I think you should tell them where to stick it...and if that doesn't work, show them. ; )

Candi - posted on 03/22/2011

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My cousin and her "mate" have been together for over 20 yrs, 3 children and a stack of grandchildren. They refuse to marry b/c if they do, my cousin would lose all of her disability benefits. She is physically handicapped, so she is unable to work, but I guess the gov't feels like if she can get married, she can support herself. Who knows? I don't blame her, I wouldn't get married either

Amber - posted on 03/20/2011

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Chad and I have been together for over 5 years, have a child together, and still aren't married. We're finally getting around to discussing it :) We're thinking a 2013 wedding...after another baby of course! haha
I don't care what people think. Although, it is a little annoying to not have the same last name as my child.

Stifler's - posted on 03/20/2011

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Haha we had Logan before we got married. I was 10 weeks pregnant at our wedding, in a church. I have no idea what people thought about that one!

Pia - posted on 03/18/2011

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Very sad. I just am amazed that there is still a stigma around babies being born out of wedlock. I just feel like shaking people like that!! No I'm not married, yes I have sex, yea I have children and just because I don't have a ring on my finger doesn't mean I'm a bad person, a slut OR a bad mother!!
You've given me my bitching topic of the day!!

Pia - posted on 03/18/2011

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Very sad. I just am amazed that there is still a stigma around babies being born out of wedlock. I just feel like shaking people like that!! No I'm not married, yes I have sex, yea I have children and just because I don't have a ring on my finger doesn't mean I'm a bad person, a slut OR a bad mother!!
You've given me my bitching topic of the day!!

Pia - posted on 03/18/2011

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Very sad. I just am amazed that there is still a stigma around babies being born out of wedlock. I just feel like shaking people like that!! No I'm not married, yes I have sex, yea I have children and just because I don't have a ring on my finger doesn't mean I'm a bad person, a slut OR a bad mother!!
You've given me my bitching topic of the day!!

Lacye - posted on 03/18/2011

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My parents pretended that they were married for 17 years. They lied to everybody that they were married. They had 3 children, myself included, out of wedlock but decided to keep it a secret because they knew that people would talk about them. It's sad and it's sickening.

Pia - posted on 03/18/2011

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Man, if I lived in your town I'd be ripped to shreds!!! I have two babies with the same guy and we're not married!! Who cares!! I think it's far better that we chose to take responsibility for our actions and keep and raise our baby rather than decide "oh wait, we're not married better get rid of it."
I'm pissed off for you!!!!

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