What do you think of this guy?

Katherine - posted on 06/13/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Well he seems a bit....off! I mean really? He's a homosexual but loves sex with his wife? Is that even possible? How odd IMO.


Sexuality is a complex thing, and different for everyone. We'd like to think it's all Fifty Shades of Grey-esque screaming, acrobatic sex, but there's a reason that's fiction. In real life, the sexual map of a couple can be all over the place. And for Mormon Josh Weed and his wife, Lolly, his homosexuality doesn't mean not having an enjoyable, robust and monogamous heterosexual sex life. Confused? I am, but let's soldier on ...

Josh Weed is a devoted Mormon from Auburn, Washington, who posted on his blog about being a married homosexual with three children.

Unlike a lot of married homosexuals, Josh's wife knows all about his being gay. In fact, she has known since before they were married. This sort of arrangement isn't that uncommon, and used to be accepted more than it would be now, when explosive sexual fireworks have become what is marketed to us as the foundation of any successful relationship. But today it's unusual to find a man willing to admit that: a) he is religious but homosexual, b) he is monogamously married to a woman but homosexual, c) he enjoys having sex with his wife but is homosexual.

Naturally, people are saying that Josh and Lolly are in denial. Or that they don't know what they are missing. And yet ... they both claim to be perfectly happy and MAYBE THEY ARE. For eons, people got married before they had sex. Marriage can be based on much more than sexual attraction -- in fact, even the most sparky sexual attraction dies out eventually. It's really only in the past few decades that sexual fulfillment has become top priority in a marriage. Do I personally want a relationship with little or no sexual attraction? No. Not for me personally. But who am I to tell others what their marriage should be about?

What I find refreshing about Josh Wells is that he says he is not bisexual. That he is NOT attracted to women at all. Which means he is NOT attracted to his wife. But they have sex anyway.

Says Josh:

Some might assume that because I'm married to a woman, I must be bisexual. Sexual orientation is defined by attraction, not by experience. In my case, I am attracted sexually to men. Period. I've never been turned on by a Victoria's Secret commercial in my entire life.

How he goes about this I'm not quite sure, but I assume there's fantasy involved -- and he must have a rather easy time with erections. This isn't for everyone!

I admire Josh's candor. If you read his blog, he comes across as extremely likable. And key thing here: Josh wasn't lying to or cheating on his wife. Josh's wife knows what the deal is, and even knew BEFORE she married him.

I am, however, concerned that Josh's arrangement might encourage other, less honest, married homosexuals to stay in the closet. They might think, "Oh, it works for him, so it will work for me." But it only WORKS for Josh because his wife made the CHOICE to be married to him. Unfortunately, not every gay person gives their spouse that choice.


What do you think of Josh Weed?

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Kristi - posted on 06/18/2012

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Well, I don't get it personally. If he is just trying to get into Heaven, then he seriously underestimated God. That being said, I will leave the judging to God as well. I don't know enough about being mormon, gay, bisexual or a successful marriage to offer an educated opinion.

However I would like to make a suggestion for Pamela, if CoM's (I've seen you berating moms in other threads, too) is too upsetting and you find it all so immature you could check your community centers and/or churches for more appropriate forms of interaction with people you feel less hostile about. For example, I am new here and when I first started joining conversations, I happened on to a couple of different "debate forums." I usually enjoy a good debate but sometimes I get too passionate and/or emotional and I take things too personally or I let other things get in the way. So I decided and it was also suggested that I try a new forum. I did just that. I still check out the debates but I'm not so quick to jump in anymore, it's not worth the stress. Now, I have a couple of new forums, like this one and I love it. So you may just need a new "forum." Because, CoM's is about being in each other's business to help support and offer suggestions and debate and rant, etc...and that seems to against your beliefs. Take it from, save your passion for something you enjoy, it's much more rewarding.

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If they are both happy, then so be it. Like Josh, I am not "turned on" by the Victoria Secret commercials either although I am openly bi-sexual. While I appreciate beauty, I love individuall personality more.

Kristi - posted on 06/18/2012

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I'm sorry for going off topic, Katherine. I was just trying to be empathetic. Please don't kick me out!

Jurnee - posted on 06/17/2012

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Hey, if theyre happy, more power to them. At least theyre honest with each other.

Jayce - posted on 06/17/2012

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Pamela, you are aware that the OP is a copy and pasted article, right? That Josh himself says he is gay, not bi-sexual.

And, if I may be so bold, l would say your life is just as boring as you're implying ours be. After all you're replying to these posts, as well.

Determined - posted on 06/16/2012

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I love how this forum is about venting/opinions and yet some people get all bent out of shape if you're easily offended why join a group dedicated to venting? On that note I personally don't care about other people's sexual orientation, however I agree with Katherine it's odd that his wife would marry him knowing that he was gay and it's confusing how he can enjoy sex with his wife but only be attracted to me.

Pamela - posted on 06/16/2012

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First, it's none of my business or yours what anyone thinks about Josh. That kind of question shows a level of immaturity that most AWARE individuals do not choose to be involved in.

From your description Josh is actually Bi-Sexual....not homosexual. There are many bi-sexual people on this planet. That is their choice and none of our business.

Is your life really so boring that you must go around asking what others think about someone else's blog? I certainly hope you will find something other than other's lives to be concerned with.

This period of time on planet earth is a time to be SERIOUSLY looking at ourselves and IMPROVING our own lives....not being in someone else's business and then asking others what they think about it.

I ENCOURAGE you to use your time making yourself a better person.....all of us can improve our lives. If you have not reached the point in your life where you can love all others on this planet UNCONDITIONALLY, then perhaps your time is better spent pursuing that instead of asking others what they think about someone else.

Jayce - posted on 06/14/2012

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I'm with Stifler's Mum on this one. Sounds like he's trying to make the church happy instead of himself.

Stifler's - posted on 06/13/2012

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I think he's indoctrinated and pretends to like having sex with his wife to be honest, just so that he can get into heaven.

Denikka - posted on 06/13/2012

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Hey, if it's working for them and everyone is happy, good on them.
I personally don't care if you're in love with/attracted to/married to a single girl, a single guy, a couple of girls, a couple of guys, a mix of both or your car XD As long as everyone is honest and everyone is happy, good on them. Means a much healthier relationship than many conventional, two person relationships.

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