Nicole - posted on 01/27/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )
One of my friends thinks my friendship with his girlfriend is equivilant to dating. I disagree. He asks if we can have that kind of relationship that he calls "dating" and I call "friendship". I consider us friends, so I say sure. No sex, and we can act just like I act with my other friends. Cool beans.
Then he asks if I will come and spend the night, he wants cuddles. I don't call friends up to cuddle, and I am writing a term paper all night that is due tomorrow morning. I say no, and realize things have gotten a bit confused.
I am writing a letter:
-The social behaviors I define as friendship you define as dating.
-You defined my relationship with your girlfriend as a dating relationship; I defined it as a friendship
-You wanted to have the same kind of relationship with me as I have with your girlfriend
-In order to feel comfortable having that type of relationship with me, which centers on emotional intimacy, you needed to call me a “girlfriend”
But the title isn't supposed to change the nature of our relationship, which is a platonic friendship, only make you feel less guilty about the being emotionally intimate with me, which is what you base romantic relationships around...
how do I simplify this?
And why the bloody hell do I always end up in complicated relationships???!!!
GRRR MEN and their refusal to have emotionally intimate friendships with women!!!!!!
Grrr the new dating rules that make everything so bloody complicated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!