Julie - posted on 03/09/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )
I am a licensed childcare provider. I have an almost 5 year old in care daily. Mom still gives her a bottle! She has not wanted a bottle while in care for over 2 years, and doesn't use on when she is with her dad. We have had her in care for extended periods (mom had surgery, out of town on business, etc.) She is a very smart little girl. Adds, subtracts, reads, etc. The problem doesn't exist with the child! It is strictly the mom's issue! This child suffers from some of the physical effects of Downs syndrome (without any cognitive effects). Her older brother is ADHD and high anxiety, along with a ton of emotional baggage. I see the mom instilling in the children some very hedonistic beliefs. Teaches them to lie about money (bills unpaid, yet excessive shopping), has the children believing that all landlords are bad because they have been evicted from more houses than the children can count, makes excuse after excuse for the children to behave badly. A very simple example of this is the almost 5 year old took a toy from a toddler. I told her that she needed to give it back and when the other child is done with it, she could play with it. Mom says "did you just want to borrow it and forget to ask?" No...she simply took it because she wanted it! I don't know how to address these issues with this family...or even if I should! I will have these 2 children in care daily for the next several years. Is it possible to talk to mom about the fact that she is not doing these children any favors with teaching them self-centeredness, me me me, and victimization...or would I simply be opening up a can of worms that will go nowhere anyway? HELP!!! I, like all childcare providers, take seriously my role in influencing children to be the very best that they can be, and it really bothers me that I have not made positive movement on these issues!