Hate him being a truck driver...

Tiffany - posted on 12/01/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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My hubby has been driving now for a little over a year and I thought I could adjust but I hate it!! I hate it more every time I think about it. Up until just recently we have been dead broke throughout his whole first year which of course did not help me to adjust. The money is good now but for how long, I know that the trucking slows down after the holidays and then what? We have 2 daughters 13 and almost 5 and now that they both go to school I have been looking for work and have no luck because I have to be home with the kids at night and on weekends. I am just going out of my mind with this career choice. I miss him terribly when he is gone and thrilled when he is home but then I feel the pain when he leaves again. I have gone as much as 65 days without seeing him!! We moved to a new town in the spring and I don't know anyone which makes it even harder since there is no one to talk to. I just needed to vent that I hate him being a trucker!!!

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Mike - posted on 02/11/2013

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Im A Trucker, lost a gf due to the road, if you love him its hard but it wont matter, the thing some women dont realize is that if we dont answer your call its because, we are either asleep needing to get rest for what bs may be thrown our way, tryin to get a shower, arguin w a dispatcher about gettin home to see a woman we love, fueling, tryin to get a hot meal maybe. or in the worst weather yall'd never wanna see, we are not out cheating, gambling, drinking, or any other recreational activities we are in a truck on the road under the stars and if you really think its freedom ask if you can go with him just one time and stay out n see the part he may not tell you about but if you can try not to argue and instead live in the moment you get with each other when hes there, you never know if it may be the last time you see him and you dont want the last words to be anything other than "I love you, come back to me" do you?

M - posted on 06/21/2013

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I don't think love has anything to do with it ! Who loves living their life alone! You got lucky finding a woman to take care of your kids in your absence! Better respect her.

Connie - posted on 12/19/2012

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I can tell you that my husband has been doing this for 14 years and this is they way we have lived. The thing that is different is that my husband is home every weekend. If he was not we would not be doing the Truck Driving job. The money is good but in the long run, if he had to be gone as long as 65 days, its not worth it for you or your children!

Barbara - posted on 06/03/2012

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Tiffany,
just needed to write a little more. I am older so it is too hard to keep up this way of life.
I am praying for you too.
Take care, please pray for me too
VERY TIRED , CAN T TAKE IT ANYMORE TRUCKERS WIFE TOO.
Barbara

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Chelsea - posted on 05/07/2014

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Thank you to the truck driver who commented on this to shed a little light. I'm only 19 years old and my man drives over the road, and I realize all these things. For gods sake you'd think you all would have some common sense and be appreciative for them doing one of the MOST DANGEROUS JOBS to support you. Regardless of the amount you complain. Ever think that maybe that's why they don't answer you? Or want to talk all the time? Because they're afraid you're going to bitch at them when they're busting their tail to support you. Its not easy. Not even a little. What sounds appealing about staying over the road and being away from their friends and family all the time? Nothing. It bothers me that so many women are ungrateful for what they're SOs are risking to support their family. I'm forcing myself to end my rant now.

LAVERNE - posted on 03/05/2014

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i do not wish to reply i just need help. how do i adjust to these long periods of time when he is so anal and aggressive about this. i do not wish to stump on his dreams but he must also realize that there are certain obligations that need to be taken care at home. The calls dropping or even worse sometimes up to 8 hours without a signal sometimes i feel like he is not telling the truth .Someone please help me I am at my wits end.

Julia - posted on 01/21/2014

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I have read all of your post and I have to agree. My husband is gone for weeks on end I may get to see him 3-4 days in a month. This really is not what I wanted for my life. When I go to bed at night I would like for him to be next to me. When we got married he was still in the service and once he got out we moved back to where I was from. He hated it in the city so we moved to his home town. Then he decided he waned to drive trucks and he has ever since. Now I never see him and I in this small town that I really don't like and he is not even here with me. I just feel so alone here and just want him home. This life of a truck driver really sucks and at times I wonder if it is worth it in the end. It is like living alone.

Callie - posted on 09/04/2013

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You are so right- I agree- maybe you can help. I need topics to talk with my husband about- we have talked about him seeing deer a long the road- what he listens to on the radio- the weather- I'm a stay at home mom and much doesn't go on here

M - posted on 06/21/2013

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I absolutely hate this too! My bf and I have been together for 2 and a half years . He was always a truck driver but it was never part if the deal that I would stay home! Now I am. He has been gone all week and won't be home till next Thursday. I feel like I am going to burst with anxiety!! I love him but I feel like checking myself into the nut house! How do people do this?? What is the point?

Jasmine - posted on 12/13/2012

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Bridget- I'm not sure we will ever completely get used to it, i think having to endure the holidays without them makes it so much harder

Bridget - posted on 12/13/2012

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I could handle 5-7 days but 2-3 weeks so just too much. We aren't young kids with years ahead to get past this part. We are both in our 40's and I didn't get married to be by myself. I wish I could get use to this?

Bridget - posted on 12/13/2012

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My husband has been driving since May and this was the first year since we got married we were apart for Thanksgiving, I hated it! Now he's not here to to even go to a Christmas party with me. I'm not sure I'll ever get use to it.

Jasmine - posted on 12/12/2012

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My guy is out 2 weeks at a time, sometimes home for a day- we have a 4 month old and it is so hard! I find myself picking fights with him because I feel like even though he's working, it's freedom.. And I feel locked in and soo lonely. If he doesn't answer my calls I automatically go into this paranoid state of "who's he with"? And then the ugly cycle of "bitter house mom attitude" goes into full effect.

Barbara - posted on 06/03/2012

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I know how you feel. I can not take this way of life anymore. My husband is a truck driver too. I am alone 5 nights a week. Alone days too. I hate hime being a trucker too. It is a a harder way of life'
I live in a small county and don t know hardly anyone so I am too alone too. I am not from here so it is real hard. He drinks a lot and gets mean and that make s it hard too.
I am praying for you too. I pray something good happens for you so you can make it through it. Please pray for me too. I am having a hard time hanging on like this too.
Take care , stay safe...\
A str
essed out , very tired , truckers wife too.
Barbara

Faye - posted on 07/30/2010

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Until you are succesful on the job front, volunteer at the school, libary, zoo, hospital waiting room or the local senior center. Get involved in your new town.

Most retailers are willing to work around your kid's schedule as long as they know of the issues in the interview. Be honest with the interviewer, if you need off by a certain time each day, tell them. If you are only able to work from 8 am til 3 pm, tell them. You will be surprised how well they will work with you. When I first started in retail, I was one of 3 who could work days as a cashier. All others were either in high school or college. I had a lot of day shifts because I could work the mid day shift and cover lunches.

Check with the middle school and High school counslors office or Home Ec teacher for a list of kids they would recommend to be babysitters for an evening out.

Pamper yourself even if it is only with a bubble bath with your favorite scent of bubble bath and a candle burning. Older kids understand that mom needs to have some "me" time so have the 13 year old watch the 5 year old for a bit so you can pamper yourself. Paint your nails if you don't normally. Get a hair cut, color your haor or perm it, if you don't normally. You must keep your spirits up so that you are in a great frame of mind when he is home.

I hate that mine is OTR and for most of the last 29 years this is all he has done. He was OTR when I met him and 5 years later he is still OTR. His company makes sure that all drivers are home every 5-7 days. There have been a few times when he has a had a run that was 10-12 days BUT those are far and few. And when those runs occur, we know about it before he leaves so we as a family can prepare mentally.

Good luck BUT keep your spirits up. It is important for your mental health and that of your family. Stay strong as your husband needs to know you can run the house while he is gone so he can pay the bills.

Sara - posted on 06/14/2010

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I hate mine being gone to. He has been an OTR driver since my twins were 8 months old. They will be 3 this oct. I also have an 11 month old. I do in-home daycare and clean like crazy trying to pass time. Now im just stressing and rushing my days waitng for him to find a local job. i hate it so much. id even remeber what its like for him to be home. I hate him being a truck driver too!

Pamela - posted on 12/17/2009

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Hi Tiffany I know what you mean, oh I hate him being a truckdriver, I worry, I hate it that I do not see my husband enough. But like you we were dead broke and he started going on the road and now I can actually pay some bills. You know guys who drive are a different bread of men, they are kinda, loving and they know how to roll with the punches. Ours sons now are 10 twins and 14 and they want thier father home.(because he is the nice one) and he is a sports junkie and my twins are too!
When we moved 3 years ago, i knew everyone, i had just finished chemo radiation and a stem cell transplant, and now I am cancer free, but that took such a toll on our finances, that he will go and I am learning how to deal with it. Sometimes I am jealous he get to sleep in hotels, when lol me and the boys are always doing something but I would not trade him in for nothing I love and trust him, just hang in thier your young, just love him is all you can do, and find things where you live, volunteer or church is the way ended up meeting new pep's Good Luck

Nicole - posted on 12/14/2009

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I totally understand!! I feel the same way, we have our own authority and it is stressful waiting to get paid and all the bills and things that come up along the way. Not to mention, feeling alone. I live in a new town also, and I hate having to take care of all the "man" jobs around the house. I started working from home awhile ago and I love it! It helps make the ends meet.

Nicole

http://www.internetceomoms.com/nicolehen...

Julia - posted on 12/07/2009

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I know how you are feeling! My husband started driving right after New Years last year and we have been broke until he changed to a different company. We have 2 boys (4 years and 6 months) along with my daughter. It is really hard at times but I know I have to stay strong for the kids. In almost a year I have seen him 6 times. The next time he *should* be home is Christmas but if the weather is bad he won't be here and our 4 year old misses him a lot (there are times he won'talk to daddy cuz he is mad at him). The last time he was home he told me he thinks he made the wrong choice by truck driving and while I agree with him there is no way we could survive while he looked for a different job that would keep him home so we just have to stick with our plan of him going local after a few more years, at this point I would just be happy if he could get a dedicated run and be home every week to every other week! Hang in there he needs you to be strong so he can do his job and get home to you and your kids!!!

Danyelle - posted on 12/05/2009

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Hello Tiffany I can relate to husband being over the road. I work full-time and go to school and raising three children ages 18,12, 9. Sometime when there is so much time on your hand. It can drive you crazy. What type of job are you looking for? When my husband started driving nine ago, I use to ask my self how in the world would I manage. I just prayed ever day. In time things will get better, My kids are enough to keep me going each day.

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