when do you call it a day?

Louise - posted on 04/20/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

1

38

0

i have 4 beautiful children ages 16,13,6, and 1, they are great kids and all healthy and independent (well obviously not the bubba), hubby would like one more, and i'm undecided, so many reasons against, age (i'm 37), money, time, sheer workload of another baby, and vanity (i'm losing my baby belly!) but when do you KNOW your family is finished? i could see us with another one, and have tentatively said i would think about it at Christmas, giving us a 2 1/2 yr gap...... what are your thoughts ladies? its such a difficult decision!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

8 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Have a heart to heart with the woman in the mirror and go from there. Sit down with the bank statements and the budget. Vanity be damned, whose looking at your belly when you are carrying the baby, and if your husband wants the baby he'll put up with the baby-belly.

With a 16 and a 13 yr old you should have lots of help, maybe.

With a 6 and a 1 yr old, maybe not so much help, but the workload shouldn't be overwhelming.

Age: only your body will give you that answer.

Only you will know when you are finished.

User - posted on 05/16/2012

1

0

0

We have 3 children of our own and we have a foster baby. Ages 14, 8, 6 and 14 months. I have the strongest desire to have another one. We tried for 7 months naturally and we were advised to move on to ivf, with 3 cycles and all failed due to old eggs, I am devastated so age does matter.

Carly - posted on 04/27/2011

110

19

8

I have to say that I just 'knew' after our fourth that our family was complete. It sounds like you don't feel that way, so another may be on the cards for you. After my 3rd baby I still desperately wanted another one and thought I would regret it if we didn't have a fourth. Now after the fourth one I am totally settled. Good luck!

User - posted on 09/16/2009

14

0

1

Louise I have a 15,14,13 and 1 year old! Our children's ages are similar I'm 34 yrs old only your family knows your situation time for family meeting!

Jenny - posted on 07/12/2009

56

48

19

Our doctor maid the decision for us, he said that my body could not take another pregnancy so I am done. We had decided that we were done, and if my husband had said he wanted another I probably would have done it even though it would have been 9 months of bed rest for me.

[deleted account]

What Tonjia said! I had been baby crazed for about 14 years, had fertility issues and finally was able to produce 4 children. I really wanted 4 minimum and preferably 6 but when I got pregnant with #4 I really had this sense of peace that this was it. I was 38, had only been able to get pregnant every 3 years, hubby is gone a lot and was probably going to be deployed (he's in the reserves and he did eventually have to go to Iraq) and I had had difficult labors. I just felt this was the right time to stop. To top off the "signs" that this was time to quit, I had to have a c-section (he was footling breach) so I had them tie my tubes while they were "in there". I don't know if everyone "just knows". I think it was a "God thing" for me. I just knew God was done adding to my family in that way. (unless He wants to slip one past my tubal, ha) I would recommend that you do it soon if you are going to have another one. I am in my 40s now and several of my friends have opted to have babies at this age. More power to them but I think it's crazy. It is just SO MUCH harder at this age than it was earlier. Just the difference between having one at 35 and one at 38 was night and day for me.

Tonjia - posted on 04/26/2009

25

13

0

Do you ever lose the baby belly? My husband and I contemplated between 4 and 6. After the others we just didn't feel complete. When # 4 (who is now 3 years) came along we just knew it was enough for us. Our family was complete! Who knows, if the Lord slips one in before my husband gets fixed we might have more. All of ours are under 10 and we are 40. Age, obviously, doesn't matter. Make sure both of you are on board though. You don't want to have any resentment on either side later on. Best of luck on the decision.

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2009

25

22

3

Hi Louise,

I have 4 awesome children, aged 8, 6, 4, and 10 months. I myself have always wanted 5 children, little did I know I would get my wish so soon! lol But I know what you mean, I was just starting to lose the baby belly and here we go again, I'm still not getting to sleep through the night either...I guess you know when you know! My husband wants 8 kids...But I know that this will be the last for me!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms