Looking for a friend, I have ADD...

Trisha - posted on 05/14/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Im at my whitts end with living with ADD I am desperate for any advice. I have four children and dont have any two days in a row that are consistant with the other.... I forget to look at my reminders, so what good does a reminder do for me. lol... I love those days when i can conquer any task, (or believe i can) and hate those days I feel so defeated by my own mind. It has gotten worst with my children. I dont have time to think one clear thought all the way through. Sometimes.. I just want someone to understand where Im coming from. I did take Adderall and it did wonders until I started to abuse it. I stopped taking it. My husband lives with ADHD and sometimes its just crazy around here. So, jump on board if we can remeber to come back and chat....lol

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Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2011

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I feel for all the other ADD women here. I have both hyperactive and inattentive types. The double whammy! lol
One of the hard things about when you have a young one is that it disrupts your sleep, and lack of sleep makes the ADD so much worse. I self-medicate with coffee. ;) I also try to plan ahead for my lack of planning. It works better some times more than others. I didn't find out about my ADD until my 30's. I haven't tried meds, but lately I've been considering it. I see whole days evaporating without my having accomplished a single one of my goals.
I have 2 boys, one who has inattentive ADD, and one doesn't. My non-ADD son is more successful at getting himself ready to leave the house on time in the morning than I am! He's 14 now, but it's been that way for quite a while now. He gets frustrated with me for not getting him to school early enough. The time just seems to evaporate. I always get distracted by doing something other than just getting ready. If I get up earlier it's often worse because then I really think I have extra time to do things! lol

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I too am an add mom with an add child. I already don't remember what I was going to post lol. I didn't realize I had ADD until my daughter was diagnosed in 1st grade. What a relief that was. At the same time, I find I'm frustrated and angry still about my own ADD (not my adopted daughter;s). I feel like I'm fighting against myself. What does it take to embrace this and move on?

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Oh I understand, I have only 2 children so I cant imagine how you cope. I am now dealing with a very spirited child who has serious behavior problems probably due to my inability to be consistent plus I had depression when she was very small. Now I am just losing my mind, I am very sensitive to noise and chaos so if she is particularly wild it just spins me up and i just lose it on her screaming. even as I try to do this post she has interrupted me 3 times. I waited until I was 37 to have her due to health problems and just not having my life together in general so this late in my life, I had most of my coping mechanisms in place and now they are out the window. I need a coach. I will take some meds as soon as I am done breastfeeding my infant son. He is laid back thank god, I hope he stays that way.

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Trisha

Have you ever thought about a coach?

I am having a first consult with one this morning.

There is growing, vigorous studies and evidence of the efficacy of ADHD coaching. I am really excited about this. I don't see the need for counseling in every case and more than often the counselors are not as experienced with specifics and current information on ADHD as would a trained coach. I do have a very connected and supportive family, but that doesn't necessarily get the chores done! What is ADHD coaching all about? It helps you like a sports coach helps with sports performance, and ADHD coach helps with" daily goals or long term life performance but has the additional credentialing and special training for those of us who need specific assistance for poor executive functioning. Executive Functions are the abilities of your brain to organize all the other things going on like the conductor of an orchestra. With ADHD, it is that part that is underfunctioning. You're not lazy, stupid, unmotivated or a bad parent, you are showing the very specific behaviors and difficulties related to ones self-regulation systems. It is as impossible to control this as it would be to will your eyes to see better without glasses. This link will bring you to the NRC and help explain the http://www.help4adhd.org/faq.cfm?fid=40&...

The organization I belong to, that had initially helped me with my son is now helping me with me. CHADD is a wonderful resource. There is a call center to the National Resource Center on ADHD

at 800.233.4050 or www.help4adhd.org.

Hope this helps by giving you a good place to go for evidence-based information. Write back!

Rebekah - posted on 03/27/2010

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i was told that i had ADHD when i was 5. it's really hard to do any one thing, so i end up going back and forth to different tasks, or starting something and not finishing it until a few days later when i remember it. can't do that with a baby lol.

Jamie - posted on 02/25/2010

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I just found out a year ago that I have ADD although I had suspected it for a while now. I feel all those things you all posted above...starting multiple tasks without finishing, having trouble remebering things and forgeting to look at my reminders is a constant battle! I even hung a white board on our deadbolt knob to catch my attention before I go out the door to give my son his antibiotic for his ear infection and yet STILL walk out the door and forget to give it to him!! As for others understanding...they don't. I received comment after comment and criticism for even getting tested as an adult and then again for trying to take Stratera to see if it would help my symptoms! I ended up stopping because I didn't like the side effects, and I quit talking about the ADD because of the comments...or sometimes the silence that means they want to say what they are thinking but don't. I too could use people to occaisonally chat with who get what I am dealing with. If you are interested you can add me as a friend on facebook and/or your circles. Just make sure to reference this group so I know who you are! :)

Sarah - posted on 01/12/2010

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I am a mother of 1 (with a heart condition) I have ADD and found out about it 20yrs ago. I have never been on meds for the ADD. I have days where I don't know if I'm coming going or already been there! Then there are days I seem to manage. I Keep a daily planner in my purse with everyone's appt. I also keep the appt.s on a big calendar. As for keeping the rest of the house organized. I wish. Not with a 3yr old, puppy, and husband who is always working/sleeping. I have found that if you have a chance to have any free time to take up something that you like to do. I make Jewelry, and do other crafts, or I am here on the com. Talking with you. We just have to keep looking for the "photo" moments (as my husband calls them) to get us through the rough moments! Take Care!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/19/2009

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Being a ADHD mom I to have done the chore charts and the list as well as keep a day planner but I to have issues with remembering to look at my tools But now that I am in my late forties I am learning to post these thing in place where I can not help to look at them and I have removed a lot of clutter from my life to help with this the only thing on the frig is my chore chart This also includes my chores and my children's chores and shopping list I have a display space on the stand alone freezer for my kids art work. I also have a list of my meds and the vitiams i give my children posted on the towel shelf in the bath room as it is something I do every day then we have a calander for appointments which we always get a calander with really large boxes so we can staple appoint card to it when possible. My husband is our real saving grace as he will check on us about once a week to be sure we have enter all the things in our planners and taking most of our meds

Shannon - posted on 05/19/2009

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hey susan..thanks...that is a good idea, I have been through chore charts and reward posters, but if it is up to me to remember to mark things,I usually forget! Go figure and then kids lose interest. My husband works out of town and is home everyother weekend, so this will probably help him fit in a know what is going on..thanks..that is a great idea.

Susan - posted on 05/19/2009

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Wow, how right on with taking care of yourself first. One thing I learned at a "Hearts at Home" conference was to keep "Mom's brain in a binder". It list all of the things I want to have done before turning in for the night and provides a space for all of the kids activities. Now, when I just need to breath my husband is able to help out.

Trisha - posted on 05/16/2009

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Hi Shannon, just wanted to let you I read your reply. Im visiting my moms, and will chat with ya in a day or so.. Thanks for replying... ttys

Shannon - posted on 05/15/2009

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hi trisha...i feel your pain. Are you taking meds. I have ADD and dont take my meds like i should. they help keep me calmer and more focused, but dont really help with the organization and consistency needed for my beautiful ADHD angels. I have 3 ADHD kids 2 on meds and one too young for meds. I understand how you feel. On any given evening i can have the water running in the sink,the dishwasher only 1/2 way unloaded ,dryer full of wet clothes, dirty clothes in the washer,with no soap just sitting there...after all of that I just sit and cry and leave it for tommorrow. Im still working thru all of the stuff with my kids...I finally figured out that i have to help my self first and then I can be better for my babies. My friends think they understand,but i dont think they do, your mind constantly feels like a carousel of different thoughts. If you ever just need to vent, Look me up. we can chat.



Take care and be strong

shannon



P.s. My friends call me OOOHHHH...shiny. Because in the middle of the conversation I lose my train of thought and talk about dinner the night before..

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