Help!

Rose - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I divorced 23 years ago. My ex-husband moved to Florida and we didn't even know where he was for 6 years. My 2 children had a very minimal relationship with him. Now my daughter is getting married and wants him to walk her down the isle and have a father/daughter dance. This man abandoned her and aside from a couple of visits, did not show up in her life until she graduated from college. I do not feel he earned the right to play father of the bride. I'm sick over this. This man was absolutely horrible to me. It took me 20 years to collect the arrears on child support. He never helped me. I worked 2 jobs and gave my heart and soul raising my children and he never gave a damn about them. How do I handle this wedding nonsense! She keeps saying "let me be normal for one day" and that's "it's her day" and she "doesn't want to be embarrased in front of her new in-laws". He did not earn the right to be father of the bride, Am I wrong to feel betrayed, stabbed in the heart and angry? We always joked about him not walking her down the isle and now it's going to happen. I just can't accept it. This wedding will be like a scripted movie and some idiot actor has a starring role. I'm going crazy over this...

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Yo - posted on 03/28/2012

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I feel your pain. My daughter just moved out last week to be with her father who had also abandon us while shutting off the utilities and empty the bank accounts. I am deeply sadden and also know your pain of betrayal. My daughter also was worried who would walk her down the isle. I think its a father daughter relationship. It kills me to know my daughter ran to her father after everything he has done and I was always the one doing for her. they say I have to let her crash but as a mother that is a difficult thing to do. I am wondering if you call his bluff. Will he walk her down the isle when the day comes? Right now she is thinking of the image not what the facts are. I truly believe God has plans for husbands like ours. Let her have that moment because we as mothers take the pain for our children. Their father never will. Its an unconditional love of our sacrifices as mothers. Good luck. You will be in my prayers. I hope soon my daughter will find her way back to my unconditional love. Hope I helped.

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