How do I help with dyslexia daughter with self esteem?

Kristina - posted on 03/23/2012

I'm sorry, I just realized I spelled your name wrong - habit of adding the "e" on the end like my sister-in-law!

Kristina - posted on 03/23/2012

Hi Melanie -



We also have an 11yr daughter with dyslexia. She was just officially diagnosed last year, but we've been onto it since she was in the 3rd grade.



For us, we didn't tell my daughter right away what her diagnosis was - it didn't seem to bother her too much. She did know she read and spelled worse than her younger brother (he's in 2nd grade now) and she knew she got additional help at school, but I don't think she ever put 2 and 2 together. Until this year. She came home crying one day from school and said she was stupid. So that's when I told her what her diagnosis was. I purchased the book "The Gift of Dyslexia" for myself when I first thought that was why she struggled with reading, spelling, math, and came home with headaches all the time. This book helped me A LOT !!! it helped ME to understand it and it helped me to explain it to her better.



So when we sat down to talk about, I was better equipped to talk about it with her. I realize this is all probably past the point where you are right now, but it will still help you to understand not only HOW she sees things, but also HOW she feels about those things that are going on. I think a lot of it is when they don't understand what is going on with them, they project it in different ways, and every kid will do this differently. But there is no reason to be embarressed about her Dyslexia. Learning to overcome the challenges and embrasing it will help to alleviate the embarressment of it.



One other thing - my daughter is very artistic. Music, crafts, drawing, etc. We play into that as much as possible. Those are her strengths, so finding something that your daughter is good at and helping her excel at that, will help her with her self esteem as well. She is also a natural leader, so giving her things around the house that she enjoys doing that are her responsibility are key to her self esteem as well - for our daughter, its being in charge of packing healthy, full lunches every day for herself and her brother. Funny as it sounds, this is something that she LOVES and she knows she has the control over what goes in the lunch - and I trust her to pack a healthy lunch everyday, so it gives her the boost that she needs.



Best of Luck to your daughter and family!

Linda - posted on 03/21/2012

Your daughter sounds similar to my son. He is 13, reads at a 3rd grade level, and has friends but none that are close. He has been identified with a "specific learning disability" since the third grade but was devestated when he first heard he had dyslexia from a teacher last year. He came home from school crying. I googled "famous people with dyslexia" and read to him the list of people, their amazing accomplishments and told him he was in good company. I told him that he should view it as a gift and not a disability. I told him about the Cheif Operating Officer of our company who is also dyslexic and that he still struggles with spelling but is a brilliant man. I told them that people who overcome this disability or at least learn how to compensate for it often become very successful entreprenuers because they think out of the box, approach problems in novel ways, and are able to delgate tasks that they themselves are not the best at.



Some advice for you. Make sure that your school is really WONDERFUL. I thought mine was too for many years... and still do... for children who are not dyslexic. I think they are deficient in programs for those students with dyslexia.



Get your daughter some help if she doesn't already have it. To beat dylexia - one on one or at least small group reading intervention for 3-5 times per week for 2-3 years (depending on the severity) with a highly trained and certified instructor in an Orton-Gillingham based program is required. Your school should provide this. Recognize that your daughter may be mentally exhausted. The best way to combat this is with a physical activity break. Even a walk or a bike ride can help.



Scouting may be an option to explore. My son loves being a Boy Scout. It allows him to interact with other kids his age in an environment that has little to do with reading. Scouting also teaches tolerance and respect for others. I think in some ways that kids who are a little different gravitate toward these organizations but a good, active troop will have a diverse group of kids.



I am socially outgoing. My son is not... but he is okay with that and I am too. He needs his down time away from others, so I don't push it.



I have a million more recommendations... but don't what services your daughter is already receiving. Most improtantly, try to keep your daughter engaged, recognize when you may be pushing too hard, and have some fun once in a while!



Dyslexia is a constant struggle for all who are involved but especially for the one who is dyslexic. Hang in there!