Jeanette - posted on 11/29/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
I've mentioned in other posts that I suffer from chronic depression, and that it's worsened in the long months that I've been laid off. Now, within the past couple of weeks, I've started developing an intense either anxiety or paranoia of something bad happening to someone I care about.
I've always worried about family members when I knew they were going to be traveling on highways or busy state routes, but now it's become an intense, almost paralyzing fear. It got a thousand percent worse when my dad had a massive heart attack almost 2 weeks ago. He had several blockages, but amazingly enough, it didn't do any damage to his heart. It brought back memories of last year on Mother's Day weekend, when I got a call that he'd had a stroke, and while driving. He got very lucky there too, as it turned out to be a TIA rather than a full blown stroke. I've since become convinced that the man has a whole fleet of guardian angels watching over him at all times, but even he knows that
But now, every time my phone rings, or I get a text message, I'm literally petrified of what I'm going to see or hear. I'm in a total state of panic if my husband has to go somewhere out of town, and it's a ton worse if he has our son with him. I can't relax until I know he's arrived safely, and then again until they are home.
I know it's natural to worry about your family, but I feel like this is consuming my thoughts almost constantly, which seems pretty abnormal to me. My son has a checkup appointment with our doctor on the 7th, and I'm thinking I should bring it up. Since I have chronic pain problems too, I can't help but think all of the stress hormones the worry is causing can't be good for my pain levels either. I'm just hoping the doctor doesn't want me to go through CBT because I've been through it twice, for a total of about 4 years, so I'm not sure there is anything else they can do to help. I know in my head that these fears are irrational, but just can't seem to stop them. And I'm not sure if the fear stems from something actually happening to them, or the lack of control......or both.
Does anyone else have this problem?