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Still battling depression

Kylie - posted on 02/21/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

I have been suffering depression on and off since I was 18 I am now 31 and still going thru it. I have 4 children and it is hard, somedays I wonder why I did it. Some days I can see why. On fri I got a little stressed and screamed at the top of my lungs just to release. I felt horrible coz then I fell apart on the kitchen floor, in front of my children. Has anyone experienced this? I dont know what to do. My body is going hay wire my youngest is 18 months old and I am having break thru bleeding it is driving me crazy. I am on a strong pill. It doesnt seem to be working properly and it is playing havoc with my emotions and health.

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Ginny - posted on 09/05/2010

Hi Kylie,
I realize this was posted clear back in February so I hope that you're feeling better now. I wanted to say, that I think you're awesome for sharing what you're going through. I wish so many moms didn't relate to what you're saying but I think we all do at some point in our lives.
I wish we were all taught from a very early age what our emotions are and how to work with them rather than stuff, fight, or ignore them.

The breaking point for me was the day that I was watching my boys playing with playdough. They started mixing the colors together and making a big mess. I got so stressed out and upset that I actually took a step back and thought, "Wow! Am I really about to lose it because my kids are mixing the playdough together? What's going on with me?"
I knew that I needed to start learning more about my emotions and how to heal or I really was going to go insane.
A wonderful woman moved in down the street from me, she had 10 children and she always seemed so calm and at peace. It turns out she taught emotional health classes and I started following her around with a notebook. I did her dishes, whatever it took to be able to learn more.
Since then I have been led to concrete, physical techniques that are easy to do and actually help you to heal the emotional pain as it comes up.
My whole life is different. I still "lose it" from time to time, but it's certainly not everyday like it used to be. It's rare. And, if I'm feeling on the edge, I know what to do about it.

Here's the link to a beautiful video that starts to heal and correct your body's energy just watching it. It's very calming and soothing. (and most importantly, it's short! I know we're all busy running with kids and life)

All the best to you Kylie!

Amanda - posted on 02/26/2010

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Is the pill for depression? You may have to try a different one and/or a stronger dose. I have had problems since I was nineteen and I am on my fifth antidepressant. They upped the dose twice and now I am much better. I know it feels horrible to not be the kind of mom you want to be. Don't give up. Keep trying different things until you find something that works. If you don't already see one, try a psychiatrist. They can help with talk therapy and medication.