Getting a Volunteer.

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

My son is a little over 3 months, my husband(a military firefighter, 24 hour work days) and I are in our early early 20s. I'm having a hard time getting my husband to help me out with our son, changing diapers,watching him so i can run some errands,and alone time period. Is there anyway i can change his ways, without arguments?

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Tracey - posted on 02/08/2010

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My husband did not want me to leave our oldest with him when he was a little baby, just not very comfortable with it. We started with me leaving him when the baby was sleeping and he knew that he would not be needing anything and just quick outing and then slowly made the outings longer. By the time our next son was born it was no problem to leave at all.

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Stephanie - posted on 02/24/2010

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Hi Stephanie... I know you posted this back in the summer, I hope things have settled down for you and that your husband is helping out more. I know that when my daughter was first born my husband had a hard time relating to her because she "didn't do anything!" BUT she is now almost 9 months old and he loves doing things with her. I try to encourage their bonding time by showing him things he can do with her without actually saying that (does that make any sense?) Like I'll be playing on the floor with her and say to him, wow look she really likes when you play this game or do this with her.

Angie - posted on 02/10/2010

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My husband was the same way when our first was born. It turned out that he always wanted me to be there with the baby because he was afraid of doing something wrong.

Sit down with your husband & tell him that you need sometime away from the baby & explain how you are feeling. Ask him what it will take for him to watch the baby.

When he does things with your son make sure you encourage & praise him. Chances are he probably just isn't sure what to do with the little guy. My husband liked for me to leave a baby schedule for him - eat, play, nap, etc. with times & suggestions. Also when you do get out for the first time try to make sure things go smoothly for your husband - have the bottles ready, diapers & wipes stocked, etc. This will make him more willing to stay with the baby again. Also start with leaving for small periods of time (30 min) & build up to longer time periods. It also helps if you have a cell phone so he can call you with questions or problems or just for reassurance.

Karen - posted on 08/01/2009

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I would just sit him down one day & tell him that you need a little help. I would start with asking him if you could leave your son home one day while you run some errands. Then he won't have a choice but to take care of him.

Maybe he just doesn't feel confident that he could do it alone. He might be nervous. Just try talking.

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