Work?

Kristin - posted on 05/19/2009

Ok so I did write a post about raising kids on your own! It has been awhile since I have been back on here! I will tell you what I have learned throughout the last months of my life. My husband has his own building business he started about a year ago. Let's just say it has taken it's toll on our family. We have 3 kids, age 7, age 4 and 8 months. I learned at a bible study I went to that in life you think alot of yourself even when you don't notice it. I would get depressed from being alone all the time and taking care of all the kids by myself. It was always about me! What I learned was life can't be all about you, you have to give you life to God and let him help you through this situation. I know some of you out there are not church goers and that is fine, but that is what I needed to hear. My husband working and late night ours with his job isn't being done just to me, it being done to him as well as my kids. It has it's toll on my husband as much as it does on my. I guess what I am trying to say is I am glad I finally heard someone speak from experience and realize what I was missing in my life! I now enjoy every moment with my children, and my husband tried really hard to be there more and to be involved more. All of this being said I know who you can always count on!

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2009

I say that all the time, I feel like I'm a single mom.  My husband has had his business about a year now and we figured the first year or two would be the toughest.  We have adjusted and are all the more excited when he is home.  The good thing is that I work for him part time and the kids come and do their homework or whatever, we eat dinner together, so thats nice.  We try to squeeze in all the family time we can.  :-)

Karina - posted on 01/06/2009

yes, i feel the same way.

i find with my husband, its not only work but his social activities aswell.he seems to find time to help everyone else and i am last on the list.

i know there are benefits to him being self-employed but sometime i could give them up just to have him home to have dinner with us.

Shannon - posted on 01/04/2009

5 Dyas a week.. when I am trying to get my daughter ready for school, get myself ready for work, nurse the baby, clean the house... uughghh!!!



He is a musician, gone from about 8pm till usually anywhere between 2 and 4 am. He then sleeps most of the morning until I leave to go to work at about 1pm... after that, he is great. He watches the baby all afternoon, gets my 5 year old off the bus from school, makes dinner for himself and her... however, by the time I get home my house looks like a bomb fell in it since he manages to use just about every dish in the house to make dinner for the two of them. It is a daily routine that i do... thanks to baby wearing I can manage... but I do have days that I want to go up stairs to our bedroom and dump him out of bed!!

Heather - posted on 01/03/2009

I am glad I found this group too. I often feel like I'm raising our child by myself . . . and we're expecting another--his idea, not mine. He works six days a week and gets home after our daughter's bedtime. He mostly sees her on Sunday. When he's home, he is engaged and is a really good dad.



The worst part is that our daughter is getting old enough to really miss him. Alot of nights she cries crocodile tears because she misses her daddy. Sometimes she says she doesn't want daddy to come home at all and she's mad at him. It breaks my heart.



I've learned to live an independant life. If I want to go out, I get a sitter--I can't count on my husband to be home. II go mountain biking once a week, help out at church, take our daughter running with a running club. We have our own things that we do and its a lot of fun.



Being a family with a mom AND a dady doesn't happen very often at our house, but we do make it happen on a fairly regular basis. It's important for all of us.

Jen - posted on 12/30/2008

oh my word i am so glad i looked into this group. i am going through this right now as well. my partner (not married...yet) owns his own company (was his father's before) and it is extremely stressful. his dad was not around when he was a child and now he isn't around for our child. i realize our boy is only 5 months but i am not sure if it will ever change. he works 6 days a week and many late nights. his one day off he spends golfing in the summer and watching football in the winter. some evenings when he leaves the office on time he goes golfing, plays slowpitch, plays pool or goes out with guys for a drink. sometimes i don't think it is my responsibility to keep him up to speed on our son as he can do it himself if he chooses. i agree that we all make choices and that is a choice he has to make. some moms tell me that when our son grows up a bit all he will want is his dad so i am waiting for that day. i could vent for hours but i will look at some of the other posts. glad to know there are others out there that are going through the same thing and that it will get better.

Lori - posted on 12/01/2008

We've had our own business (retail) now for 16 yrs & yes I have often felt like I was raising my son on my own. My son who is now 14 still resents how much time his dad puts into the business & away from us. There have been perks to owning our own business though, trips to places we would never have gone to otherwise as a family - where business meetings were being held. I was doing the office work for our business right up until 2 yrs ago and ended having to quit due to chronic fatigue syndrome. There are some downsides too, my husband has missed out on a lot of our son's life and now our son is at the age where he is not too interested in doing stuff together with his dad but I also know kids go through different stages. My son is also working at our store after school now which is great. I still struggle some days with my husband being gone so much & so preoccupied with work. We are definitely trying to implement more in our life but change takes time. We need to work to live but we don't need to live to work...life is too short and you can't get back lost time. It's all about choices. I just think it's kind of sad when you give your all to the customer and don't have much left for your own family especially after so many years at it.

Sandra - posted on 11/21/2008

I agree with Jodie. I have to keep my husband involved and "up to date" with the kids. My husband has been self-employed for nearly a year now, and it's been a LONG year for all of us. He's having to put in longer days (including weekends) and we're slowly getting used to it.

Jodie - posted on 11/20/2008

Sometimes it does but we have to make sure we keep the men involved. I do all the office work for our business (from home - which has some downfalls) so we are both involved, but I make sure my husband helps with bathing and plays with her everyday. One of the most annoying things for me is that a lot of people think that I don't work because I work from home. I would like to see some of them juggle a business, a child, take care of the house an cope with a chronic illness.

Stay positive Kristin and make sure you set a family day aside where there is no talk about the business and all of you spend time together .....

Michelle - posted on 11/19/2008

For years I felt that way. He is going on 7 years with his business. It has gotten better the last 3 years. Before that I was so upset with him and ready to move back home because he was never around. I moved away from my family so he could start a business with his brother and dad. So it gets better. Just remember you are all those kids have for now. They depend on you for everything. Once I realized that I was not so unhappy. I got involved with other moms and kept myself busy and had the kids on a good routine.