raising a boy

Sian - posted on 02/18/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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heyy well i just had my baby almost 3 months ago and i am thinking about his future and him growing up,, i am scared that i will raise him wrong and he will turn out gay which i have no problem with,, or an easy target for bullying,, i want him to finish school so bad and pass,, as i could only finish year 11 and his dad quit half way throught to do tafe pre voc studies. but i dont want him to come running home everytime somene calls him a name,, how do i raise a boy with out turning him in to a it of a pansy?? hope this makes sense and people understand...

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Pamela - posted on 03/02/2009

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"Bringing up boys" is an excellent book... funny though, I read it After I had my 5th boy!

You have to let boys be boys, & not sweat the small stuff.

You can't treat them like You want to be treated, He's a boy!

he will be gross, smelly, restless, loud, full of energy, roudy, rough & reckless!

If you spend all your time cleaning him, making him sit still, shushing him, protecting him, etc... things will definately backfire...

don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he should run wild with sweet abandon, but there is a definate balance You have to create for him..

being with Good male role models is always the best...

playing with him, physically is important...boys need to wrestle, run & play, always be "hands on"...& don't be afraid of him jumping off a staircase, or whatever, just be with him while he's doing it...be an active participant!!!

always balance with respect, love & discipline

love him & enjoy who he is...

Barbara - posted on 02/25/2009

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I Agree with Gray. Loving your son or raising him alone won't turn him gay or into a pansy. I have 2 boys and I am married to their dad but I am the one whos playing catch, kicking the soccer ball, and coaching them at the wrestling matches. Moms do much more than making food and wiping messes. When he is ready to do those things and shows interest he instincts will kick in. My boys tell me I'm not a normal mom and I think it is because I have done all the things "what a dad should do". I did those things because I wanted to, and you want that so you will just do them. I love having my boys.

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hi.

i understand you'r concern... it's a part of being a MOM :)

i do also rais a boy(3 years). did the first 8 months alone.

my son is verry close to me, verry cuddly but also a very much of BOY.

what ever you do you can never make a person gay,it's something that is allready desided from the time he was in you'r belly.

i even bought a doll for my son,he loved it, he hugd it and kissed it like i did to him.. dolls make kids learn being gentle with other kids.. but hey it's doesent make miricals..it's a doll :)



any way, for you to write this concern means that you love him, and that meens you would do what ever it takes to give him your best...



about the shcool thing... i only went for 11 years, daddy 14. so we ar not educated our self but want our son to.

what we do is read alot to him.. i started with baby books at 4 months.. we read almoust every single day.. and since i have done that since he was a baby he love it.

what i belive it that the kids that like reading have it alittle bit easyer at shcool.

Marie - posted on 03/12/2009

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I don't think you should worry about anything until that time comes. He is only 3-4 months and you have awhile until he is at the point of bullies really. Just rase him how you want to and the best you can that's all a parent can do. Don't worry to much about what other kid's and parents will think and say about you or your child. Just take every day as it comes and be happy he's yours and no one else's.
I'm sure he will do awesome in school and have great friends. You never know he could be the popular kid in school and have ton's of friends and he might be the one picking on gay kids or being the bullie. I am joking on that part LOL.
Just relax and don't worrie so much you have some time before things.

Gray - posted on 02/18/2009

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Hi Sian, I am raising two boys right now and I understand the pressure of wanting nothing but the absolute best for your kid(s). Boys are a very special and very resilliant kind. They are very dear to a Mom's heart and can also be absolutely frustrating because we don't understand the male gender. I can tell you I have found a great book to help me better understand my sons needs, it's called "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. But I believe you will find all you can do is Love him and teach him the difference between right and wrong and you will be fine. Enjoy that little boy!

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