new mom with new fears....

Stacy - posted on 06/10/2009

Let him know but tell him that you support him going in and are proud of him. What ever you do try not to harp on it or bring it up to much while he is gone to basic. Basic is hard but even harder when you know your spouse is at home raising your child without you and all you want to do is be their with them. After you two get married you will be able to get on base and they have support groups of wives who are going through the same things and or who have gone through it. They can be a big help.

Corinne - posted on 06/09/2009

Hey! i know your fears very well! my hubby has been working 12-16 hour days since we got to this unit and not to mention all the trips to the field and ntc for month! everytime he left my daughter would be due for her shots and would always get a new tooth! last time he left for ntc, for a month, both me and my daughter got sick for mostof the time, then she needed her 6 month shots, and got a new tooth! there will be times you will want to pull your hair out but every mom has a "survival" mode in them! you wil be very amazed how well you will be able to cope with your spouse being away! its also good practice for when he is deployed! after a while it almost becomes easier for them to be gone bc you will be so used to doing it by yourself and you will have your schedule and routine down! my daughter is very attached to me too! thats probably my biggest problem right now! ifyou have family or good friends near you, its best to work out swap days or have them take her for a few hours once in a while so you can get some "me time"! wish you all the luck and congrats on your new baby! you really will have so much fun with her! even when my baby girl is crying and throwing a fit i can still look at her and find the humor in it (the faces she makes...etc) every little memory you make is the most amazing feeling! :).





you also have to understand that your hubby is probably feeling the same as you! they dont actually enjoy being away from their babies as much as you hate them being gone! he worries about you both! he joined the military to better himself and to provide for his family! never take anything the military does personally! thousands of moms/spouses in your same position feeling the same fears! try to cut him some slack but dont ever hide your feelings! best marriages have open communications and you will usually find the answers you are looking for when you start talking! :)

Nicole - posted on 06/08/2009

I grew up as an Army brat and I swore that I would never marry a military man. I met my husband in high school and he had no interest in the military at all. Then, 6 months after we were married, he enlisted and left for 8 months between basic training and tech school. I was so upset that while he was in basic training I wrote a letter expressing all of my fears and worries about the choice. At first it was one of those "write it but never send it" letters...just to vent. But then I realized that I had to be honest with him. Talk to your spouse about your fears. Also, you can depend on other military spouses with questions. Every base has a spouses group. Also, your husband's NCO's wives are there with questions you have as well. It is actually their job to make you feel better about the decision to serve with your husband.



Being a military wife is hard work. Being a Mom, married to a service member is even harder. My first point of advice is not to let anyone diminish your feelings. They are your feelings and 9 times out of 10 they are justified. Take time for yourself to vent, yell, scream, cry, laugh and have fun. In most bases, the military community can be great. We are all in the same boat and you can often find a lot of support from those around you.



I just gave birth 6 weeks ago to our third little girl, Meredith Julianne. My husband leaves this Friday for another deployment. My nerves are shot with how I am going to take care of 3 kids all by myself without his help. And since school is out, I have yet to figure out when I am going to sleep since little Miss Meredith doesn't sleep through the night yet. It's going to be hard...but it is always harder on the one leaving because even though they chose the sacrifice of the military, they don't always choose the leaving part.



Keep your head up. YOU CAN DO THIS! Keep yourself busy with volunteering on base. And keep smiling for that little girl of yours. He is doing a wonderful thing. You should be proud of him. Just like he will be proud of you for doing the hardest job in the military.



Take care, and congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.