2 miscarriages and boyfriend wont talk about it

Vicky - posted on 03/03/2012

Men are fragile believe it or not. I have had 6 miscarriages in 14 months and I have told my boyfriend about 5 of them.



The last one I didn't mention to him as he was going through a really rough patch due to a death in his family and I didn't want to break him down any further.



Men dont tend to talk they just bottle it up.

When he is ready - he will talk.

Brittany - posted on 02/25/2012

He sounds like how my husband acted after our first misscarriage. It is his way of greaving. He mentally can't handle loosing another one. The idea of you getting pregnant scares him. I would suggest backing off and letting him know that when he's ready to talk about it, and to have another go to let you know.

Krissy - posted on 02/21/2012

Maybe he is very concerned about what another potential loss might do to your guys' relationship. It sounds like he has voiced that he feels you've changed over it (which means you've been impacted by it)...



You might try calmly asking him if the reason he doesn't want to try again right now is because he doesn't want to see you get hurt again. If so, maybe you can suggest that you get some counseling for a few months first, even if it's just you, and then you two can work on it together when you both are ready.



Two miscarriages could just be that, two random miscarriages, but they could also be the beginning of a huge battle to try to conceive, and it wouldn't hurt to be in a strong place before embarking on that.



Try to understand that men don't always say things the way they mean them... LOL! My husband pointed out a boob reduction place and suggested I call them. really????



LOL! His intention was sincere because I'm always sore (back pain) and he cares, but the comment caught me off guard, to say the least!

BABS28200912 - posted on 01/30/2012

So I am very upset I mentioned trying again and he said we aren't ready. I said I am and he said I am too. But we aren't ready. Why doesn't he want to try again with me? Have I now become inadequate to carry his child? So anyways I said you want to have a baby just not with me? He rolled over said he wasn't getting into this with me and went to sleep. But now I am wondering what changed so much in a few months that now I am not good enough to have a baby with.

Deborah - posted on 01/28/2012

before my fiance and I got together he had been off and on with another girl for 6 years (the entire time I'd known him). She had wanted a child very badly, but they had trouble conceiving. About the time I got pregnant with my daughter (who will be 4 in April). I called to share my news with them to discover that she was pregnant too. She ended up miscarrying the twins she was not destined to have. It changed her. It's not 'why' they split up, but that was a factor in it (Small compared to the other elements)





He doesn't talk about it, and I've seen him cry over it once, saying "I was supposed to have TWO!"



So they do get upset over it, they just deal with it differently because, well, they are helpless in the face of something like that. I think you should talk to your doctor to see if he can figure out any problems that might be causing them, but don't let his lack of a need to talk interrupt your life together. I can understand how frustrating it must be, but don't let that be the 'wall' for you. If he cried, that means he's hurting, but he has to deal with the pain differently than you do. I've met men who blame the woman for miscarriages, but your boyfriend does not -- he said it just wasn't time yet. That is what you need to remember when you are hurting.



If you need to talk to him about it, tell him YOU need to talk and all you really want is for him to listen, but don't get upset if it's not a 'heart to heart' where he pours out as much as you do.