hard time copeing

Iysha - posted on 11/12/2010

I felt the same way when my daughter was born. I was in the hospital (by no means as long as you were) for a while for preterm labor and nobody could tell me why. I hated that I didnt get big at all...I wanted the full on pregnant look. lol. I didnt like seeing mommys with big bellies or hear how they cant wait for their baby to come...My daughter was in the hospital for 17 days...so it wasnt that long but it seemed to take forever. i was miserable and on top of that PPD set in a bit where I felt like it was my fault because I didnt want to stay in the hospital and wanted to go home...like my selfishness was thereason when really it was that I had an aging placenta...no control over it at all. I didnt breastfeed either....my daughter could barely stay awake long enough to get a few sucks from a bottle in. She was tube fed a lot.

The best advice I can give is just to be fortunate that you have one beautiful daughter. A lot of women out there cant have ANY children and getting pregnant is a real blessing. To even experience raising one child is awesome. What really irked me was when I knew of pregnant women smoking, drinking, doing drugs...my complication is something only common in pregnant women over 35, smokers or drug abusers...I dont fit into those categories and i had complications and they had perfectly healthy babies born at full term. What's up with that?

For me, the resentment to moms that carried full term and didnt have any complications went away with time...once my daughter started reaching "normal" weights and as she had good regular check ups, the feeling faded. I think the idea of a support group is a good one. I have gone to counselling and absolutely loved it. I tried to think of unfortunate situations as I wasnt the first to experience this and I wont be the last. I look at my blessings and feel fortunate to have them.

Hope for the best for you and your family. xo

Dora - posted on 11/08/2010

I can't imagine what you went through or are still going through. But I do feel your pain and I am so sorry. There are tons of support groups that can help you. I don't think you will ever get over your pain completely but support groups can help you work through it. Do you have any family members or close friends that would carry your egg and husbands sperm so you can have another child? If you are both ok with the idea look into it. I know someone who was considering it. Good luck with everything.