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Adoption/Abortion

Bev - posted on 12/07/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

13

5

I am an adoptive, single mother. Someone in my family became pregnant (already had 2 children) and was contacting everyone in the family for money to have an abortion. I met with her and asked her to reconsider having the baby and I would adopt at birth. She cancelled the apt and we proceeded with our plan for me to adopt. It is somewhat an open adoption, although the baby is only 8 months old and she has only seen him once since he left the hospital. She sends me text messages once or twice a month, not really asking about him, but to fill me in on the drama in her life. She has a much younger boyfriend now and they are considering having a baby of their own within the next year. I plan on being completely open with my son about being adopted, but I have no idea how it might affect him when he gets older and finds out she kept the 2 older children, and any other children since him.

Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas how one should handle?

Thank you very much.

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Robyn - posted on 12/08/2009

22

0

Our family has been through both of your situations. What has benefited us is just being very open with our kids. When the questions come up, answer them as honestly as you can. Don't put them off, or get upset, because then they will be scared to talk about it. We have had many opportunities to talk about the birth moms different situations. How her life has had some ups and downs, and at the time, she knew she couldn't give what was needed to a new baby. With our birthmom, she was in an abusive relationship, and she knew she didn't want her new baby brought into that. Also, she knew she wouldn't be able to give him the things he needed. Now, she has pulled things together, gotten a new job, and become secure in her relationship. We make sure to let our son know, that at the time, she made the best decision she could for him. I hope this helps. I am not the best with words, but just try your best to answer any of his questions with love and openness. I believe that kids understand things a lot more than we may think. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

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