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11 year old going on 25! Help!!

Deanna - posted on 12/04/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old boy is causing me so much grief and heartache lately I just don't know what to do. His dad and I have been seperated since he was 2. His father lets him swear and I don't think it is appropriate. He is 160lbs and also knows some karate and wants to test me all the time. He will not take a timeout when I ask him to. I can't physically discipline him and I am not sure what else to do. He doesn't really have much that I can take away because he will leave it all at his dads house. More than anything he is extremely disrespectful. He puts me down in any way he can think of. He was never this way until I gave his father the majority of joint custody. His dad disrespects me and tells me I need to deal with my parenting issues on my own. He will not back me up or tell James to watch the way he talks to me. I love him with all my heart as he is my first born. I cherised the very ground that kid walked on because when he was born he saved me. He honestly gave me a reason to change my ways. And now, I feel like I don't even like the kid anymore. HELP! What do I do. He won't go to counseling. He absolutely refuses to go. I want to get full time custody back, but he loves his dad so much that I know he won't go for that. I just don't know what to do.

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2 Comments

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Jeanet - posted on 12/12/2010

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Have you tried sitting down and asking him why he is doing it. Told him how you feel and how it makes you feel.

If he does not want to go see a counsellor, you go talk to one and get professional advice on how to best handle the situation.

It's important to act now as it will only get harder the older he gets.

Maybe he is acting out because of low self asteam and don't know how to deal with it.

99.9% of children loves there parents and there is normally a reason for them acting out finding the reason is half way to solving the problem.

When I was a teenager I was terribly mean to my mum and I'm sure she cried a lot after we gone to bed. But as I got older I realised the sacrifises she made for me and my sister and we're best friend now. Good luck

Prudence - posted on 12/07/2010

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Im replying partly because no one else has and partly because i wanted to say im so sorry that these things are happening in your life. I have a 12 year old foster daughter ...we have had her for just over 3 1/2 years. She is not like your son but at times she pushes it a bit too far. My only thought would be to pray... i know it doesnt sound like much but i must say God is the only one who has helped me through the junk of life.... Also, pray for your son, pray and thank God for him, thank God that He is in control and that He knows what is going on. Even if you dont believe me, God is there and He is interested in you and your life. He wants to help.

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