12 year old struggling in school and doesn't seem to care. Help!

Lori - posted on 02/16/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 12 year old is in 7th grade and is failing almost all of her classes. She has ADD (no negative comments about ADD please, I've heard them all) but is not on meds. We don't want to put her on meds but are getting desperate. She doesn't seem to care that she is missing assignments or that she is loosing privileges like going to school dances. She is running the risk of repeating the 7th grade. School isn't the only problem. Chores, showering, brushing her hair... We've tried chore charts, lists, paper organizers of all sorts for school work. I need more ideas!
Please help!

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Gretchen Lea - posted on 11/21/2011

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Been there....stop taking privileges away. She is not making a choice to have issues, she needs understanding and then her frustration will lessen and she will begin to have pride in her work. Teachers and parents need to work together to keep her organized but it has to be done in a helpful way not feel like an attack or that the adults in her life are ganging up on her. I'd be happy to share more as well as be a sounding board, like I said we have been there and now my son (who teachers said was unteachable) is a senior getting straight A's and looking into colleges. cinderellastone@yahoo.com Gretchen

Patricia - posted on 02/21/2010

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ADD is not a disease.... for starters your daughter may be finding that routine is boring... she must be missing out on creativity and extra curriculum .. try finding out what she is really good at and have her take them classes... as she can read and write... and is bright am sure... we spend to much time on academic results and overlook the potential quality of each individual child... do not deprive her what she enjoys and likes sometimes we make them conscious that they have a problem now that becomes the problem...Major problem... she is normal and treat her as normal...all the best...

Ang - posted on 02/21/2010

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I am a substitute teacher and I work a lot with resource kids. It runs the gamut to severe to just needing help with their reading. Tiffany is right about the IEP look into it. I have another friend who is an OT and she is into natural causes for behaviors. She has done a lot of wonderful work getting children to concentrate and do schoolwork by eliminating problems in their diets
red dye, milk allergies ect. That could be another avenue to look into as well. Best of luck!

Tiffany - posted on 02/21/2010

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My son also has Add and in order for him to get the help that he needed at school I had to ask the school to test him. Once the school board realized that he had it we set up an IEP( Individualized Education Plan) and legally the had the obligation to fullfill his needs. The put him in a special education class room where there were less student to teacher ratio. It helped with his grades. It also helps when it comes to state testing. As far as at home the only advice I can give is to find something that she loves and threaten to take it away. You could also try counseling that will help her learn how to manage without the meds. I have been totally against the meds since day one. I have however tried the meds an didnt find that it helped altho the school seems to swear by them. Your daughter may have other issues going on that the counselor may be able to help with.

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