13 year old daughter has boyfriend

Stephanie - posted on 10/05/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 13 yrs old next month and has let me know that she has a boyfriend. I don't like it, but I don't think that it is serious enough for me to worry about too much. We have taught her to be open with us and talk to us about what is going on with her social life at school. She feels comfortable to tell me about him. I don't want to cross that line, where I seem I am being to strict and she doesn't want to tell me anything personal anymore. They want to go to the movies together, maybe I am just old school, but I feel that I should accompany them, but of course this is not cool for her. I would just like some advice on what you would do in this situation.

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Keis - posted on 10/05/2009

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U want 2 keep the trust and open relationship. I would at least take/ drop off and know where, what when, and why. I have four kids with an open relationship. Somethings they learn on there own, somethings they experience, but I always keep them aware and focused on the real world and not reality. If she has a cell, make sure she keeps it on, even on vibrate during the movie. If she dont, think about purchasing 1. Just keep communicating, trust, and have faith.

Audrea - posted on 11/16/2011

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I know times change from back when I was a teen, which of course wasn't forever ago but long enough LOL I don't have any teens but I do have teen brothers. When I was a teen, I was allowed to have "supervised" or "group" dates at 14. Wasn't allowed to go alone until I was 16. My brother is now 16 (his girlfriend is 14) and they are not allowed to be alone at all. Must have one of their parents with them at all times. I think that is a little much. But I also believe it depends on the relationship you have with you daughter. What ever you feel comfortable with. I just hope maybe this was a bit helpful....

DuSharme - posted on 11/16/2011

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nothing wrong with friends as boys, no boyfriends ,next is haveing sex and drinking pregnancy are u ready to put that on your daughter at such a young age

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If you have not met the boyfriend, then you should accompany them to the movies and all other "dates" for a little while. If you have not done so already, now would be a good time to have the "boyfriend" talk with her. My children are not yet teenagers, but I hope this was helpful.

Lindsay - posted on 10/05/2009

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First off, it's great that she's comfortable enough with you to tell you! If you would allow her to go to the movies with her friends unaccompanied, I'd say let her go. Be there to drop her off and pick her up just like you would anyhow.

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Dexter - posted on 02/21/2014

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Im sorry but I think this is insane, 13 really 13 is appropriate for a boyfriend, what in the world is wrong with these mothers. I don't care what the ages are, alot more girls are now pregnant earlier too. How about strengthening the relationship with themselves and their father, then moving them along into boyfriends when they are emotionally ready for it

Amanda - posted on 12/12/2012

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Chances are they don't even hold hands. At her age the idea of a boyfriend is a boy you hang out with. Yes the age is getting younger and younger with sex and a nine year old girl just had a baby, but if she is open with you she will tell you what they are doing. You do need to have the talk with her, about sex, getting pregnant and everything. Before letting them go to the movies ask her to have him over for dinner so you can get to know. Tell her that is your condition for letting them go alone. If she wont invite him over you go to the movie. She is just getting into boys, and understanding her feelings about boys. Nows the time to have a big talk while she is still open to what you have to say.

Stephanie - posted on 03/29/2012

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My 13 year old wanted to date a 16 year old. We said no and just found out that they have been sneaking texting/emailing behind our backs for months. She has been deleting the conversations but I finally caught her. Now we are having a really hard time with her.

Carol - posted on 10/08/2009

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I'm so not ready for this stage and I'm so thankful that my boys still think girls are yucky. Do you know what kind of boyfriend she has? At my son's old school the 1st graders are straddling and caressing eachother - they're 6!!! Go figure, they get pregnant in 6th grade. At my sons' new school it's still the same as I remember it being when I was a kid - you date someone in 5th or 6th grade from across the room and the most physical you'd get is brushing your hand across his.



Hopefully it's more like the latter, can a group date be arranged to keep things in check?

Amber - posted on 10/08/2009

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I think im a little more old fashioned .... it was ok for my 17 yo daughter to have a boyfriend at school but they were not aloud at the house until the age 15 and she was not aloud to leave with them til she was 16... I have open conversations with my children and they talk about things that happen in their life all the time and it seems to work for us... just go with your gut cause some kids mature sooner than others

Rachel - posted on 10/05/2009

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my daughter is 14 and shes got a boyfriend.i am same as you are but i trust my daughter she tells everthink wats shes doin . she goes to town with him and goes to the movies with him u got to trust them sometimes i know its hard but i am here for her she knows that. she wont do nothin shes not daft

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