4yr old cries everyday when I drop him off at pre -k when will this end? it makes me so sad

Nicky - posted on 09/12/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My stubborn, spoiled rotten 4 yr old boy just started pre-k one week ago tomorrow. Everyday when we are leaving the house he tells me he doesnt want to go to school and he will miss me (it breaks my heart). When we get to school I sign him in and he signs him self in on the childrens board and puts his name on the happy or sad face, whichever he is feeling that day( he always picks happy even though to me he looks anything but happy) Then he picks a book and he goes and sits on his mat and i read him a book or 3..lol Then by this time im already late for work(thank god for an understanding boss) When I tell him to give me a kiss and hug because I have to go to work he tells me not to leave him cause he doesnt like it when im not there, and then one of the 3 teachers sits with him as I leave. It breaks my heart as im leaving he is crying for me :( Ever since the first day he refuses to eat breakfast or lunch in school. He just recently started to drink his milk at those times and sometimes will wat at snack time. Since the first day he has not used the mini pottys at school. Monday I got a phone call saying he was refusing to use the potty that he wanted to use his own and the teachers were concerned he would have an accident or get a bladder infection from holding it in. Well monday he had an accident @ 2:00 just before school is out @ 2:45. His nana went to pick him up @ that time. Now he has been having an accident everyday (i think he knows if he does he can go home) Today he had an accident but this time it was during nap time. He uses the potty everywhere idk why he wont go in school. Anyways I guess my question is when will this get easier? Will he ever let me leave school without crying for me. My nerves are shot I hate hearing him cry for me. I cant function at work cause all I think about is how terrible I feel for leaving him. I know its something I have to do. I know he needs to stop being so stubborn and follow their rules in school. I know he needs to learn to be independent and get prepared for kindergarden next year. My nerves just cant handle it, when will this end?

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Linda - posted on 09/13/2013

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Thank you for sharing your experience. My son is going through pretty the same thing right now. He just started pre k on Monday. First day was fine, walked in with school helper without even looking back. I guess he was unsure what was happening. Second day, hesitated slightly but went in. Wednesday, started crying and I had to physically carry him in. Thursday same thing carries him in crying, then I get a call from school at around noon that he has inform staff that he needed to poop and he cannot use the school toilet, but needed to do it at home with his potty seat. Of course I was asked to pick him up. We had a whole discussion with principle teachers and school nurse that he will return tomorrow and poop in school bathroom like a big boy and they will have a poop party. Today, went in screaming. I informed the principle and teachers that he didn't have to poop yesterday but some how managed that and got to come home early. They will not let him use that again and encourage him to use school potty. He has no problem peering there.. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but my nerves are getting to me. So it gives me some calm to know this does happen, and we all just have to get through it. Thank you. Hope your son is well adjusted and doing well in first grade. :)

Amy - posted on 09/13/2012

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There are a few things that I would do. At my sons preschool once we signed then in we walked them to their class and left them at the door. That was the policy, parents weren't allowed to go in the classroom in the morning because you are just prolonging the good-byes. So if I were you I would sign him in, take him to the bathroom before you leave, walk him to the classroom give him a hug at the door and leave.



I do think your right now that he knows if he has an accident he will be able to leave I would talk to the teachers to see if you provided a change of clothes if they would stop calling you to come pick him up. He has to learn that there isn't a reward for not behaving or using the potty.



How long has he been in school. It can take up to a month or two for children to adjust. My son did preschool, 1/2 day kindergarten, and now is in full day 1st grade and this is by far has been the biggest adjustment for him. He was going to bed crying, and crying as he got on the bus all last week. I reached out to his teacher to let him know what was going on and he's been working with him to make sure that he really is enjoying the day. Is he 100% no, but he's a lot better.



My son also has anxiety and the other day I ran into his kindergarten teacher from last year, she said that I could use her a a reward. So last night I told my son if he could go a whole week without complaining about school that I would pick him up and we would go visit her after school one day, my son is so excited to go visit her. So try a reward like if he goes a whole week without having an accident at school on the weekend you will go to the movies or do something that he wants to do. Good luck.

Clarice - posted on 09/13/2012

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Try to find out why he/she cries everytime you leave him/her. mine does the same but at time she's happy to go to school. it could be the teachers, other naughty kids or evenn the environment talk ti them and they open up. asure him that you'll miss him too and that you dont want other pple to see your tears thats why you dont cry, building a trust and encouraging him/her to be courageous will help alot and other kids wont bull yours.

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