4yr old cries when dropped at kindergarten

Julie - posted on 09/10/2012

I am having the same problem with my 4 year old daughter, she cries very hard when I drop her off at school, she is in kindergarden. She clings to me and will not let go. Her teacher wants the kids to be independent and hang up their own coats/change into school shoes but she will not do it, she can she is just too upset to do it.



I've read the post and alot of the recommendations on how to deal with this is too keep the leave quickly and not linger, I do linger and don't want to but my daughter clings to me and I would have to physically push her away to leave fast, I'm worried that if I do this she will get follow me out...and perhaps get hysterical.



I would love to hear any suggestions or advice you may have,



Thanks

Rhea - posted on 11/04/2010

My SS used to do that when I dropped him off at daycare and he did it a few times in Kindergarten when he started (we also start on their fourth birthday here in NL). The daycare workers (they all have degrees in childcare and child development) said just keep the goodbye short with no fuss. Something like "Ok, have fun! Bye sweetie/insert name here". Then walk out. If he's fine a few minutes after you leave, the fussy goodbye just makes the initial crying worse.

Amanda - posted on 11/03/2010

yes its heartbreaking when you leave your child all parents go thru this stage but be strong and eventually your son will get thru this stage, cheer up

Anita - posted on 10/27/2010

i have only started to send my son to preschool in the last two weeks just a couple of days a week to get him use to it. the same thing is happening to me he is crying pleading with me not to go . it is breaking my heart but today i left and stayed just outside the classroom door to listen and within one minute he had stopped .no problems he just didnt want me to leave. it is so hearth breaking each morning but i am hoping soon it will stop. he is my 5th child and i didnt have this problem with any of the rest.so keep going with him he will eventually want to go and have fun

Amanda - posted on 10/26/2010

i know the feeling my 4yr old son does the same but as soon as he sees his cousin or one of the teachers hes fine. your son is just going thru a phase so it will go away so dnt worry too much just give it time

Naenae - posted on 10/25/2010

put them in the room with

Sherri - posted on 10/03/2010

Where do you live? I ask because children here do not start kindergarten until they are 5yrs old. It is simply his age, he will outgrow it.

Ellen - posted on 10/02/2010

My advice is to keep your goodbye short and sweet. Something like "Have a great day! Bye!" Then leave quickly and without fuss or worry.

Marianna - posted on 10/02/2010

I know, there is nothing wrong with the kindergarten, seeing that he does the same thing when either me or my husband leave and I know there is nothing wrong at home :) but thank you for your add as well :)

Marianna - posted on 10/02/2010

Thank you, I do this only to help him to play with other kids and do some educational crafts, cause its a bit harder for me, since I also have 3 year old home and my little 15months,to give them some attention and get some chores done as well..
Thank you

Marianna - posted on 10/02/2010

thank you, I will try that.

Julie - posted on 10/02/2010

my daughter used to be like this i felt so guilty for leaving her but people said she was fine when i had gone and the minute she saw me come back she would start up again. kids have all kinds of tricks and tactics to push our buttons and this is one of them. don't feel guilty at leaving her if they say she is fine after. just keep reassuring her that you will be back and she will stop eventualy. don't ever feel guilty about anything you do cos the break does you both good. happy mum happy child. mother full of remorse child picks up on and plays to make you feel worse.

Vicky - posted on 10/01/2010

My 3 year old cries everyday, he been at school nursery since Jan. I had meeting with teacher who said he was fine after I left and having worked in nursery myself before having children I knew that he was doing it to keep me with him. If you can get permission from them to allow him to take in something that belongs to you to look after until you come back to collect him and you let him take something into drop off area to give to you to look after this helps most children to settle. Even if they place the item in a special box so it doesn't get played with by anyother children he still has a part of you with him. Another way to help is short periods of going out and coming back to help him see you will come back or giving him the time at which you will return on the clock. Try changing your leaving chat to "Mummy has to go out for a little bit can you look after daddy and make sure he gets lots of cuddles until I come back. Thank you." Hope some of these help I know its hard I cried for 3 months when I started taking him but never in front of him the teachers even let me sneak back in through a back door a couple of times to see him playing perfectly before I had even been gone 2 minutes. Good luck it does get better Firm but fair with lots of patients and reasurance.

Candy - posted on 10/01/2010

If he is fine after you leave,he is just trying to get you to stay or take him home. There was a mother last year when my daughter was in kindergarten who her daughter cried EVERYDAY for the whole YEAR. I dont how she did it. I couldnt have left mine if they had cried. I bought mine a garuding angel necklace. I would put kisses in it every night before bed. That way at school when they were missing me they would hug the angel and feel better. My friend did the same thing with a love disc necklace for her son. Good luck. May God give you strength.

Cheryl - posted on 10/01/2010

Can you question him as to what he doesn't like at school? Ask him if he wants to go to another school and leave this one, cos then you wont change him after that? He could be going through a period of separation anxiety? One never knows what goes through these tots minds. I know my daughter (aged 30) hated Nursery School. To this day she remembers how horrible they were! and she was 5 (cried all the time when she went there!) It does make you feel bad, but questioning him and getting to the bottom of his woes, might be the answer. xx