5 year old wetting his pants at school!

Amanda - posted on 02/10/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old son keeps wetting his pants at school. It is really becoming a problem, because he misses class time when he does it because they have me take him home. I have had several talks with him trying to encourage him to ask his teacher to go, but he is scared to ask her. He also tells me he doesn't know when he has to go. I have taken him to the doctor over this and they tell me his urine is normal and everything is fine. At home I have to tell him to use the bathroom, but at school I'm not there to tell him and he won't ask. His teacher knows that he is scared to ask her to go, but hasn't done anything to help the situation. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't expect the teacher to tell him go to the bathroom, but I don't know what else to do. I am looking for advice from anyone that has experienced this with their child. I am really concerned because he only goes half day school right now, and can't always make it without peeing his pants. He will be going a full day in the fall, and I am worried this issue is going to worsen.

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Krissy - posted on 02/12/2011

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At home... do you NOTICE him wiggling or holding himself and THEN you tell him to pee... or do you just randomly tell him when to potty with no signals.

Because if he's wiggling or trying to hold it in... then he can feel it... there's your answer about whether or not he can feel it. He just doesn't WANT to stop and go.

The other suggestion is to buy a potty watch... you can buy one specifically for it, and it's designed to beep every hour/two hours... whatever you set it for. You can find them on bed wetting stores online. And when it beeps, he has to stop and go. Do this at home too, or else it will never work at school.

Amanda - posted on 02/16/2011

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He is in Kindergarten, but went to Preschool. The difference is at preschool they had set times to take them to the bathroom, and in kindergarten they don't. He is expected to raise his hand and ask to go. The bathroom is in the classroom. There are times at home when he says he has to go pee and runs to the bathroom, so I am pretty sure that he really does know that he has to go. Other times I will just tell him to go. I think I will have a talk with his teacher again about it, and see if she will talk to him to make him more comfortable about going to the bathroom at school. I just worry that he will need to be reminded to go, and that she won't want to do it. I will look into the potty watch, that sounds like a great idea! Thanks everyone for your advice!

Joanne - posted on 02/12/2011

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Has your son recently started school? My little girl is four and whenever there are changes to her routine for example when her dad is working night shifts (which is every 6-8 weeks) she will go through this stage of wetting herself. A bit of anxiety and aprehension. She will do it all the time at home, nursery and at otheers houses. Once he is back to his usual shifts this sorts itself out. This might be your son showing you his aprehensions, is he maybe a bit scared of going to the toilet in school on his own, is it a long way to go to the toilet. I feel the school should be helping you and your son out more with this sitation. If he felt more comfortable in school this may not be happening. Hope all works out for you, i undrestand how frustrating this kind off situation can be.

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Lissa - posted on 02/10/2011

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Firstly if he is continuing to say he doesn't know when he needs to go and you are having to tell him to go see another doctor and get a second opinion. Secondly if you have discussed this with his teacher she should be doing something to help that includes reminding him to go to the toilet. I would speak to the head teacher at the school. My son has bowel problems which sometimes lead to a little leaking out his teacher knows and quietly reminds him to go to the toilet and if there are problems to go to her so she can get wipes and his change of clothes. Her input has made a huge difference to his confidence over the issue.

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