5 year old with anger issues

Linda - posted on 08/05/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I need to know, is it normal for a 5 (almost 6) year old to get so angry she completely loses it? My daughter gets angry over silly things, esp hearing "no" and gets very mean, yelling, screaming, kicking until she is exhausted. How can I help her get a hold of herself? Should I have her tested for anything? She is mean to me only, pretty much all the time.

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Ziomara - posted on 03/31/2012

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I have a 5 yr lil girl how get anger so fast that she started to take it out on her lil sister and lil brother, I ask her what going on and it start a fight. I dont know what to do. but just let her be, and walk away.

Alexis - posted on 04/01/2012

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im having the same problem with both my boys, one is 6 and one is 5. i must admit the 6yo dosnt loose it as much as he used to, but the 5yo is full on...

my sons teacher gave me a "cool thinkers pass" she uses it in the classroom, its basically a card that has a smiley face on it with the words smart thinker, then it says, this pass allows me to take 5 minutes in the quiet corner to breath, close my eyes and think about how i am going to be as cool thinker..



it works with my 6yo, when he is in the middle of a wobble, i place this pass around his neck, then i walk away, he comes out to me and we have a chat. i ask him what happened, he tells me then i ask what should we have done, and he tells me, i then tell him lets again next time, i give him a cuddle and he is ok..



it dosnt work with my 5yo but he watches...

Ruby - posted on 08/07/2010

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Med's might not always be the answer. My son has adhd of course not the same but after many years of reluctance put my son on med's . He lost over 28 lbs in 3 months he was 9 at the time. He also became very introverted and had extreme Rage he was punching kicking everytime I took him back the answer was always more med's. We continued this cycle for about 9 months. I finally decided these treatment were turning my son into someone he was not. I discontinued all of the perscribed medications. I read some books on adhd found for myself a routine and schedule helped as for the anger management I went to basics. I started with sleep a proper bed time 7:30 for me a schedule even durring school breaks and summer time . I know this souds like a weird idea but changed his mattress so that he was able to sleep thru the night he had no more sleep problems such as nightmares, waking up, or being scared of the dark. He was far less irritable and has improved so much. good luck start small these things might help sleep is so important you will see an improvement in all areas & mabe find a way to help her improve her dealing wih anger.

Rachel - posted on 08/06/2010

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Myyoungest daughter started doing thisat a young age. We found out sheis on the low spectrum of autism. I agree with seeing a childs psychcologist. It could help you out too. They usually can help give you ways of stopping the behavior.

[deleted account]

I don't think this is uncommon. My son is the same way, he is stubborn & a control freak just like me so we but heads a lot. I know where he gets it from!! I have to remind him that he is in control of himself & it's not appropriate to scream & yell. He can speak to me in a proper tone or not talk at all. I usually end up sending him to his room to sit on his bed until he is calm & can act nice. It seems like he just needs a minute to step away from the situation & he feels better & so do I. If you think there may be something wrong you may want to google O.D.D. It's something my cousin's child has & it has a lot to do with an extreme anger & violent temper.

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Stephanie - posted on 03/12/2013

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My son is 4 years old and he gets very angry whenever I tell him no. He throws things, spits, and he gets very physical. It's not so bad when we're in the house, but whenever I take him somewhere I'm very anxious because I never know when he's going to lose it. I love this little boy with all my heart and soul, and it really kills me that he behaves this way. His dad and I are separated and my son never behaves this way in his father's presence. His father reinforces that this behavior is unacceptable, and he should listen to Mommy. I'm not sure why he has sooo much rage, and I'm really scared that one day if this continues he may hurt himself or someone else. When he gets mad he will also scratch himself. I just don't know what to do at this point.

Layla - posted on 08/09/2010

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mine will b 5 in october and shows the same anger behaviour and discomfort on silly issues, even he has started blinking his eyes more often as a sign of anger, all i do not scolding him and avoiding anything that makes him angry and talking to hom quielty when he make mistakes

Angie - posted on 08/06/2010

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This is not normal behavior. It's possible that she truly has no ability to control her anger. Take her to a phsycologist for testing - not your family doctor they have more knowledge of these types of things (as proven by a previous poster's comment that her doctor said all children are this way these days) . There are things (including meds) that you can do to help her. In the meantime, to keep her from hurting herself or someone else, restrain her. There is a loving way to do this: Pull her into your lap facing away from you. Hold her right arm in your left hand and her left hand in your right hand crossing her arms across her chest. Be firm but not too tight or you could hurt her. Be careful, she may head butt you if your not watching closely. While she's in this position, try not to lose your temper but be really quiet until she begins to calm down, then speak soft, loving words to her. If you can help her now, she will have a far happier and healthy life - I know, I lived with this type of anger until I was 41 years old and getting it under control has made my (and my family's) life much better

Linda - posted on 08/06/2010

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Ladies, thanks for the input. I wrestle daily with it, and I am in couseling myself, have been for years. Yep, I have atemper too, but it is the kicking and hitting I worry about. I am a screamer, but not physically violent. I guess it is time to look for a good doctor....

Nayda - posted on 08/05/2010

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i think you should have her tested... sorry no offense... i have a 5 year old and she doesn't not act in the fashion. it's one thing to get upset, but yelling, screaming, kicking... no there is something emotionally or physically wrong.

Heather - posted on 08/05/2010

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I have anger issues and so does my older son. I have read a few books on the subject and one of them (written by a Christian counselor) suggested VERY strongly that most children who have anger issues have parents who have anger issues. The parents would bring a child in for anger management & counseling, but it would become clear nearly instantly that the parents were in need of it too.

I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone, but if it rings a bell for you at all it could be best for you all to get some help dealing with anger.

Kenda - posted on 08/05/2010

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mine is the way and evrybody in the family feels there something wrong with him too(am the only one with 2kids). i hear this alot now days about kids any age.i asked the doc and he was checked out for adhd and autism but nothing was wrong. we got the testing just to hummor people. she said that all kids are like that now and its mainly cause we cant or wont displine them. i just wait til hes done.he goes to his room and sits down intel hes done also.and some times its just random..hes mean, yells, screams, throws things, and the same stuff. i have been looking for some answers also.

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