5yr old pees pants; says he just forgets.

Vicki - posted on 04/23/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 5yr old goes to school (K) and at after school care, he tends to have "accidents" when he's outside playing. He claims he's too far from the bathroom or he tries to get to it and doesn't make it. I've reminded him so many times (and his caregiver has) to use the bathroom prior to going outside, but he doesn't have to. At some point, I'm afraid childcare won't allow him to come. I've tried reward systems; maybe I just haven't tried the right one (or the right reward). I need help, please.

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Diana - posted on 02/07/2013

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I have a 5 yr old boy in K who wet his pants at school occasionally but at home all the time. He still wet the bed as well. He was potty trained at 3 yrs old and at 3 1/2 he went back to having accidents on himself. I have tried everything, screaming, punishment to telling him it's an accident and to try not to do it gain, rewards and charts it works for a little while but then he starts again. I have spoken to the doctor and she tells me is laziness, he's too busy and everything is too important to him than going to the bathroom. I had even left him with the wet under wears so he can feel uncomfortable but no help. So he won't wet the bed i purchased an alarm with a sensor from amazon which i put it on him when sleeping and it wakes him up when he starts peeing so that have helped but he still don't wake up on his own. I don't know what else to try and do.. i send him every half an hr or remind him occasionally it helps sometimes if am on top of him and make him go. Does anyone knows what else i can try?? I need help!!! please.

Angel Song - posted on 08/13/2012

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I know what you're going through. My step son is with us every other weekend and he's with his Mom for the rest. The other night he peed on the bed, but it was our fault for giving him fluid late at night. But we told him it's ok, it's an accident, next time no drinking too much before going night night. He says ok. Then we ask him what does his mom do when he pees in his bed over there. He says she hits him. And we would tell him to tell her no hit, it's an accident.

For peeing in public it frustrates me. My 3 year old turning 4 in two weeks, just pees when he's excited. yesterday we went golfing and there was a spot. Then we would ask does he need to go pee, he said no. So we continued but later we noticed we let out more. I wanted to yell, but it wasn't right. Lately I have been watching how much he drinks, and my husband would ask him does he need to pee. He would always say no. But I would say can you go pee though. Or try to pee. And he ends up peeing a lot. And I told my husband not to ask him if he needs to go just take him.

after golfing we went to Sam's club, he went again. Then my hubby said did you pee your pants? he said no... then I told him o feel it to check. Yeah he let loose a little. So then My husband raised his voice but wasn't yelling, cause he asked him did he pee his pants, our son said no. Our son got upset. And I told my hubby we have to be firm, yeah accidents happen but he needs to tell us if he needs to go when we are in public because that day we were dropping him off at his mom's and she complains we drop him off dirty and filthy back to her, when really we don't, we always bring extra clothes in case this happens.

But I have to watch how much my son drinks, he can't drink too much and after eating or drinking I make him go use the rest rooms, even before we go to sleep. But he's doing better.

The only problem I have is him telling us he has to go, instead of always holding it and then letting loose a little Bit. Then we finally said if he pees pants again no more birthday party! *sigh* I have a feeling he's going to let loose while playing so I'l be keeping my eye on him that day too... I guess sometimes they don't detect they have to go

Joyce - posted on 05/28/2009

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I had the same problem. It started just all of the sudden. I think my son just got so busy playing. He didn't want to take the time to go potty. They wait too long to go. Then its too late. Having them go before they go out to play is a great idea. Even if they say they don't have too, tell them they need to at least try.

Melissa - posted on 05/27/2009

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My 4 year old son wets his pants. It gets very frustrating. At first dad would yell at him and finally I told him that wouldn't help. Every time dad gets mad and gets ready to yell I stop him. That won't help. Also, my sons pre-k teacher told me her cousin used to wet his pants all the time. His dad beat the holy living crap out of him. Finally he got so sick at like the age of 12 or something, come to find out he had kidney failure. I would make sure theres nothing wrong with him. Oh the dad donated his kidney because he felt bad. I guess that was supposed to make up for it or something.

Lisa - posted on 05/26/2009

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Both my daughters went through a phase at 4 and 5 where they would wet themselves while out playing not because they are lazy, or forgetful but because they felt they would "miss out" on things happening around them if they left it to use the bathroom.....my oldest is now 9 and has outgrown it and my youngest is slowly out growing it....i think it's actually quite common in children that age but if you are concerned about a bladder infection or some other health issue take your son to the doctor and talk to them about it....I know my older daughter had a couple urinary tract infections, one which turned into a bladder infection because she didn't feel anything wrong when she peed....It can be frustrating thinking your child just doesn't care but if it's not a medical issue it will eventually stop....

Christine - posted on 05/25/2009

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Hi Vicki, my son is 9 1/2 now and still has the odd accident. His pants wetting was a result of bullying in his first year of school. After 2 years of doctors telling us he will get over it I finally got a referral for a paediatrician. My son has had every test imaginable to rule out it being caused something physical and is now on a medication called Ditropan. This helps him stay dry. He has been on it for about a year and a half now and has gone from 3 or 4 wet pants a day to maybe 1 a week. I think if it really concerns you it might pay to talk the teachers to see if there is anything going on that may be causing it. I knew with my son it wasn't just being lazy or to busy. I understand how frustrating it is for you. There were times I would just start crying thinking that it was my fault. Hope this helps a little.

Amy - posted on 05/25/2009

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I have a 5 yr old son and a 3 yr old step son and I have had problems just like you. They say it was an accident and didn't know. I tell the 5 yr old that they won't let him go to school if he continues, although he only does it at home. (He goes to PreK at public school) It only seems to help for a few days though. I make them go #1 every hour and make them try to go #2 at least once a day.Even if they don't have the urge, it seems to remind them.

Anita - posted on 05/24/2009

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sorry to say this but it sounds like your son is being lazy, my 8 year old son wets his occaisionally i know thats he was being lazy because he can make it to the tiolet what i do is make him rinse his own pant out.

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My 9 year old son does it too at least to the point where he has leaked an enormous patch on his trousers, if not the whole bladders worth... It is *very* frustrating... He claims he doesn't "feel it happening". He also still bedwets. People tell me he will grow out of it... :-S I have taken him to the paediatrician, who agreed he should grow out of it eventually, but recommended giving him water or milk to drink rather than cordials or juice which can irritate the bladder and nothing to drink except half a glass of milk after 6pm to try and avoid the bedwetting.
When I toilet trained my kids I introduced rewards for dry days, just something small for each dry day, and then something bigger for every 10 dry days... That worked for my two youngest.

Brenda - posted on 04/23/2009

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My 6 year old gilr would do this too, I tried everthing!! She only did it at home or her aunts though. I tried rewards and praise and when that didn't work I started insisting she potty before she goes out, or no outside play. If the after school care is at the school, maybe the teacher could insist that he potty's before play. If that doesn't work, talk with his teacher and after school teacher and ask them to limit his water intake in the afternoon times. Other than continuing with rewards I can't think of anything else that might work.

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