User - posted on 05/16/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
I am 25 years old and recently have let my bf and his 6 year old daughter come live with me in my home. everything was fine the first month i guess it was somewhat of a "honeymooon stage" but about 3-4 weeks ago i started catching my boyfriends daughter stealing from me... money, make-up, lotion... whatever she wants she takes... and by addressing that i also discovered that she has a very serious lying problem. she will throw her dinner away and tell us she ate it. she had been flushing it down the toilet, it so when we caught her we made the bathroom off limits during dinner and so she started throwing it away in the outside trash can. so she really didnt appear to learn anything from it when we talked with her about it and gave her a consequence so now we have decided we will just have to sit with her for every meal and make sure she eats it all. this is just one minor example out of numerous deceitful tricks and lies she tries to pull on a daily basis. she will even admit that she is just trying to trick us. im afraid she believes she is smarter and more cunning than us and has no fear of our punishments. she tells me she is smarter than her dad and that she is an adult regularly. apparently at one point he told her she was smarter than him and it stuck. i let him know that i do not agree with talking to your children like that but he doesnt seem to be on the same page as me. this little girl has been through a lot in her short 6 years on this earth and i have tried to be understanding and work with her on a gentle understanding level. i know her mom is not around and is honestly no good and she really does need a stable and more consistent environment. i would love to provide this for her but because of the constant lies and stealing from me i cant trust her and i feel like im losing my mind because i am constantly having to be on the look out for my stuff. i dont feel like i should have to hide all my stuff from a six year old girl i feel like she should have learned respect and boundaries by now but she hasnt and i am at my wits end trying to teach this to her. she told me this morning that she is jealous of the time her father spends with me and because of it she does mean things to me. this is ridiculous. she spends more time with him than i do she even acknowledged that she knew that when i brought it up. and the time i do spend with him hes tired and we spend more than half of our time discussing her and her behavior problems! i will also mentions she has come home with numerous notes from school saying that she has either hit, pushed, pinched or twisted the arm of another child. we get these notes AT LEAST once a week and it makes no sense because her father and i rarely fight and when we do there is no violence! i have printed out the story of moses and the ten commandments and highlighted the ones about lying and stealing and she says she loves god and that she knows lying and stealing are bad and she will never do it again. but just a few minutes after she was caught in a lie again. i asked her about it and when she planned on really stopping and she told me in all seriousness that she would probably stop around 13 or 14. WOW what do you say to that??? i took away a couple privileges but i feel like thats just not enough. she doesnt even seem to care if she gets punished... please someone somewhere HELP!!!