6yr old pooping pants

Shawn - posted on 01/20/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 6 yr old son is about to drive me to insanity!! Since he was 4yrs, we have battled on and off with him pooping in his pants. He has these phases where he will do great for a month or two with no accidents, and then we'll have two weeks where it is a daily occurance. I feel like he is holding it, and when his body can't anymore,some just comes out, as it is not a lot, but it smells horrid. I have taken him to the doctor twice and had him checked for encopresis, but the dct. says he is medically fine and it is strictly behavioral. We have tried rewards, punishment, making him clean his own underwear and nothing seems to phase him. We have talked to all of his teachers at school and everyone is letting him go whenever he needs to. It happens at school, church, home, whereever..so there is not pattern to where it is happening. There have been no major events like a death or divorce, that might have brought this on that I can think of. He has always been very controlling, so I don't know if this is connected to control, if so how do I help it? We let him make decisions for things that we can, b/c we recognized his want for control and wanted him to feel like he has some in his life. When I ask him why this is happening he just shruggs his shoulders. Any advice or suggestions would be great..I don't know what else to do!

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Tammy - posted on 11/18/2012

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I am going through the same thing with my 6 yr old son. I have no answers just empathy. My reaction is never the same. Some days I berate him, sometimes I tell him just try to make it next time. Others I fly off the handle and scream and yell as I am trying to have patience with the situation. I need help too. He says it hurts when he has to go but refuses to try different juices and remedies.

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Rebecca - posted on 01/28/2009

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Just keep telling yourself that Boys can't possibly grow up crapping their pants every day as men! AND, if this is really more of a little boy thing than it is a little girl thing (which is what I find) then think of all the men in our lives that obviously had the same: "But I didn't know it was going to come out?...." conversations with their mothers... lol...

Tracey - posted on 01/26/2009

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i know this may sound strange but try taking diluted juice away i have had the same problem with my 6 year old and someone suggested taking things away in case they allergic so far seems to be working

Shawn - posted on 01/22/2009

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He has to clean out his underwear everytime..the first time he was disgusted by the thought, but didn't change anything. Now it doesn't bother him at all, he has no problem doing it. So frustrating!! We will go a month or two without any issues, then out of the blue, we have an issue for about a week or two, then it stops. I can't make any sense of it!!

Crystal - posted on 01/22/2009

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My daughter went thru this. She would poop her pants almost every day, then tell me that she didn't feel that she had to go. After the doc determined that this was not a medical problem with her, we were at our wit's end!! I got so sick of cleaning it up all the time that I finally made her clean it up after I caught her in the act - she was playing in her room but I could tell by the look on her face that she was pooping and knew it. I made her clean out her underwear and clean herself up (I supervised of course) and clean out the bathtub after (I use organic, non fuming non toxic cleaners, so this was a safe option). She was so grossed out by the mess. I told her that if she was going to do this, she would be cleaning it up from now on. It hasn't happened since, and it's been almost a year.

Shawn - posted on 01/22/2009

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Please let me know what you find out..I have thought about taking him to a psycologist too to see if I can find some answers to this. My heart just tells me he is not doing it on purpose, but it is so frustrating as a parent to not be able to help something your child is going through!! Where do I find that group on FACEBOOK that you have connected with? It does help to know you aren't the only one out there going through something that seems so crazy, so thanks for responding!!

Tammi - posted on 01/22/2009

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Quoting Shawn:

6yr old pooping pants

My 6 yr old son is about to drive me to insanity!! Since he was 4yrs, we have battled on and off with him pooping in his pants. He has these phases where he will do great for a month or two with no accidents, and then we'll have two weeks where it is a daily occurance. I feel like he is holding it, and when his body can't anymore,some just comes out, as it is not a lot, but it smells horrid. I have taken him to the doctor twice and had him checked for encopresis, but the dct. says he is medically fine and it is strictly behavioral. We have tried rewards, punishment, making him clean his own underwear and nothing seems to phase him. We have talked to all of his teachers at school and everyone is letting him go whenever he needs to. It happens at school, church, home, whereever..so there is not pattern to where it is happening. There have been no major events like a death or divorce, that might have brought this on that I can think of. He has always been very controlling, so I don't know if this is connected to control, if so how do I help it? We let him make decisions for things that we can, b/c we recognized his want for control and wanted him to feel like he has some in his life. When I ask him why this is happening he just shruggs his shoulders. Any advice or suggestions would be great..I don't know what else to do!


 



I am having the same problem with my son.  The pediatrician that he goes to sent him to a children's hospital and they are running blood work to make sure that he doesn't have any kind of disease that would cause him to be this constipated, alergies and anemias.  He is also on the cleansing of the system and then he will have to go back in three months.  We also have to set up an appt with a psycologist to find out if his issue is psycological.  It is going to be an uphill battle for a while but I googled encopresis and found some very useful information to help him and us deal with the issue at hand.  Also there is a group that is on FACEBOOK that has several members dealing with the same problem and I have been talking to them.  It has been helpful.  I keep it in the back of my mind that he is doing the best that he can.  THAT IS ALL WE CAN ASK FOR AT THIS TIME.



 



Hope this was of some comfort.  Just remember to try not to rip your hair out in front of your child.

Crystal - posted on 01/21/2009

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my six yr old son has the same problem . he sometimes gets side tracks and has his little accidents . he does sometimes say i just forgot to go mum .... i cant stay mad at him . its just one of them things . if ur still in doubt ask advice from ur gp or midwife 



 

Rebecca - posted on 01/21/2009

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My son is like this, we haven't had any problems for a few months, except that he feels wiping is a waste of time. When he went through this last stint, I was beside myself, because enough is enough, and I am 100% sure that he knows what his expectations are, as well as understands what the bathroom is for- it seemed like a weird passive aggressive thing, and he is not starved for positive attention, or recognition of the good things he does... So what I decided to do was announce something like 'Today, I have to go to the store for... and who is coming with me?' Sam would say 'ME, ME, ME' and I would get down to his level and say well I would like you to come too but if you have an accident then I won't be able to clean you up-
He would have the idea to go potty before we left, and then at school he would be reminded to go before recess or whatever. Sometimes, I thought it was a mind over body thing, like if he was too busy to stop and go, and sometimes, I thought that he just didn't care. It is frustrating though because my daughter never went through this, and at a certain age, it's just gross to tend to.
I wondered if there were other boys that had the same issue.
I think that what worked with us, is tricking him into thinking it was his idea to be more responsible. He could certainly control that!

Alicia - posted on 01/20/2009

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I know my son would have accidents when he was way too old to have accidents and I truly think it is a maturity thing.  He would be playing or doing something he was really into and have an accident.  But I just helped him clean up and passed it off as a phase.  I mentioned it to the doctor at a checkup and he said if it was still happening later on, then we would start to worry.  About 1 year later, no accidents and it stopped as sudden as it had started.  I do have a friend whose child does this too and she totally freaked out about it and the more she wanted him to stop and made a fuss about things, the more the accidents would happen.  So, in some sense I think it is a power struggle thing.  I think just trust your Mommy guts and if something is wrong then you will know.  Hope that helps a little



 

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