7/8 Year Old Girls Who Talk Back.....

Tawana - posted on 03/17/2013

my daughter is 7 going on 35 she talks back, in front of myself and grandmother I am trying to be calm but this disrespect is going to far, need help

Clarisma - posted on 11/03/2012

my daughter always mad for nothing sometimes

Jaiann - posted on 10/14/2012

I have a 7 yo who yells and screams she lies and her teachers want to put her on adhd meds... help

Paraswati - posted on 09/19/2012

Hi I an new to here too... But I think this policy works for me too. Our 7 year old usually needs umpteen numb of reminders to d something, the when asked sternly she snaps up... To be honest we thought we were the only ones.. Feels good to know we are nt the only ones and most 7-8 year olds behave the same way.. Guess its just a phase some kids go through

Paraswati - posted on 09/19/2012

Hi I an new to here too... But I think this policy works for me too. Our 7 year old usually needs umpteen numb of reminders to d something, the when asked sternly she snaps up... To be honest we thought we were the only ones.. Feels good to know we are nt the only ones and most 7-8 year olds behave the same way.. Guess its just a phase some kids go through

Sarah - posted on 09/19/2012

My daughter will be 9 this december, its not just the talking back but its the way she says it with the body language and facial expressions as well. I just look at her gob smacked sometimes. I tend to take things away from her that she enjoys. I would have thought she would have been an angel as she has seen me on many, many occasions yelling at her brother who is now 16 and still like, it loose everything, but no she likes to push the boundries as well now!

Olivia - posted on 08/28/2012

i hav been in this situation i think that we need to bring correction and balance bring disiplen dont let them rule you under their rules rule them under thier rules take things away take privilages away

Janiene - posted on 08/23/2012

Nip it now, or it will get worse.

Daijhacofer - posted on 08/18/2012

hay what is you number

Erin - posted on 08/11/2012

Oh yes. Mine JUST turned 9. I don't think it's getting better quite yet! The world just owes her the coat off her back some days I tell ya! And she's got an answer for everything! Sometimes I have to do a double take....where did my sweet girl go?
No, she's still sweet, she's just got a little extra spice right now. Hugs to all you other mamas dealing with this right now...we need a support group!

Danielle - posted on 08/11/2012

I have a daughter of 7 she doesn't. talk back she can be very cheeky which can be embarrassing at times. I don't think smacking or hitting is the answer. I think that is being hypocritical.'
What I find works is to tell them what they have said is wrong and I am not happy with this situation. I ask them how they feel about what has happened and I hope they are disappointed with themselves.
Because it isn't often they realize if it's upset me and apologize.
I do feel cruel when the bottom lip drops and a little tear rolls but they have to kno what's acceptable and where to draw the line .

Eveyn - posted on 08/11/2012

i have a 7 year old who talks back called caitlin hannah harvey

Lori - posted on 06/04/2012

Hi Katharine, I can totally relate to that...my eight year old daughter can be very sassy and talk back as well. Sometimes it can be VERY frustrating and it takes alot not to let my anger get the best of me either but we live in a very different time these days when spanking or slapping your kid is not really an option. For me, I find the best way of dealing with it is giving her a time out period for about 10 minutes....usually facing the front door so she can think about the way she disrespected me. I do take tv away and her dsi game as well if she continues to talk to me in a bad tone or say hateful things if the time out thing doesn't take. That usually works great except my problem is she's fine for a few days or weeks but then if something doesn't go her way or I say "no" to something it's like we are back at square one again...with those aweful words, "I hate you Mom!!!" It just seems like it's an on-going battle that we have but I try to always win...lol! I know it's hard on you momma but pick your battles and only disipline her for the obvious offences. Maybe if she's just a bit sassy you could ignore some things and not make a big deal of it if you think she is doing it for attention but make her start her phrases over and tell her you can't listen if she doesn't talk to you with respect. Well, I hope this helps a bit, like I say I am in the same situation and I don't always do the right things either...with kids we are always learning new ways to deal with their behaviours. Take care and let us know how things are going. Lori.

Monique - posted on 02/27/2010

Jenny



Your daughter will continue to do what she does because it is a routine now she knows that when she talks back that mom is just going to take something away and she'll just apologize I reccomend long time outs have her to sit at the kichen table and think about her actions, let her sit for like 30 mins and then go to her and talk with her but this behavior must be nipped ..... and if time out don't work you know what to do next get that tail .............



Monique P

Monique - posted on 02/27/2010

Hello Kat



I am sorry but I can't beleive I'm hearing this, this must be nipped in the bud asap and I couldn't imagine my two girls talking back at me it is not tolerated in my house and has never been we as women have to step up and not let our kids over power us, ok you take things away Hello ! I s this working no time outs does that work no you need to get to that naked tail and sit her in the courner and have her to think about her actions and trust me a few times os this she will come to reality, I know laying your hands on your kids is not always the solution but sometimes it is ............Growing up I would have never talked back to my mothe it is time togo back the OLD SCHOOL WAY !!!!!!



Monique P

Rebecca - posted on 02/26/2010

lol! i say to my six year old 'i didn't ask for a thousand words, i just asked you to ... xyz...' she responds 'it wasn't a thousand words!'

i don't actually punish her for it. i am actually glad she can speak up for herself. yes, it can get on my nerves (a lot), but if she goes on, and i can't take it, i just say i don't want to hear another word on the subject because i have made my decision already and i expect her to abide by it. if she tries to continue after that, i just reiterate -- 'not another word!' by now she knows she can't get thru to mummy once i've said it's the final word.

if there is a valid point in back talk, i'll raise it with her later on my terms and allow for a discussion -- when things are calm again. therefore she knows i will hear her out, if she has a point, but i won't tolerate RUDE behaviour.

Paula - posted on 02/25/2010

my 8 yr old is very cheeky and rude but ive started to give her pocket money and if she naughty she dont get it i see how bad she been thoughtout the week and see if its worth giving it her. its been working so far so good.

Amani - posted on 02/25/2010

My 8 years old daughter is very stubern that she always argues me and blames me for every thing in her life. I get used to her attitude altough I sometimes feel frustrated about her decipline , but Ihave found that ignoring her in such situation is better than arguing and having a battle. try this and talk to her after she calm down and tell her if she will talk to you like that you will not talk back.

Janine - posted on 02/01/2010

 I find my 7 almost 8 year old daughter talks back and gives "those" looks, I also found she interrupts her 4 year old brother when he is trying to talk and grabs things from him without asking. I used a star chart. Her goal was to get 50 stars for being respectful toward her family. I could cancel a star and if she was really disrespectful I could cancel all the stars and she had to start over (fortunately we never had to get that extreme). Before we started the exercise her and I sat together and discussed the rules, the consequences and the reward. She chose her reward before we started so she knew what we were working towards. It worked! We still have days but I find if I say "you are not being respectful" it reminds her of what she is doing wrong. I do like the idea of making her write out the correct, expected behaviour a few times - Thanx Viviene for that!

Bonnie - posted on 01/30/2010

i'm convinced they do it because our own mothers said something to the effect of "One day, i hope you have a daughter who is JUST like YOU!"
because my mouth was the only way i knew how to get in trouble.

what's not fair is that she isnt just like me. SHE's WORSE!!!
i've maybe spanked/smacked her 5 times total (she's almost 10 now) and 5 of those times have been for her mouth and attitude in the past year.
cant wait for high school!!!

Becky - posted on 01/29/2010

My girls are 10 & almost 9, I can't stand the sarcasm! Why is it so much earlier now days? In my house we use a money jar, every time you are rude, sarcastic or yell, they have to pay 10 cents. Somedays its not an issue, somedays they can owe $2 in about 20 min. They hate giving up thier $ & when they run out they have to do extra chores to earn $ to pay the jar.

Latisha - posted on 01/29/2010

First of all let me say I am a firm believer of beating ass when it is deserved. My daughter is 10 yrs old and thinks that she is 20. It don't matter if I take something away from her or even tell her she is not going somewhere that she wants to go. She just starts crying! But with my child I have to go RAMBO on her behind cause she sometimes think that if someone is around that I'm not going to do her in. Talking doesn't work! I shouldn't have to repeat myself so many times. Sometimes I wish that my grandfather was still alive cause I know for sure that if my daughter would try something with him he would let her have it and that would be the end of it.

Kay - posted on 01/28/2010

ok let me say this first there is a difference between a spanking and abuse.

with my oldest dd she is 26 now, talking and taking away things did not work she just didnt care but a good smack on the tush worked wonders. now my youngest is just the oposite of my oldest she is 11 and a real sweet heart i very seldome have to swat or take thing away from her the "mommy look" (her words) works almost every time.

Virgine - posted on 01/28/2010

I have the same problem with my daughter. The only thing is although she is talking back, she is makes valid points. I try taking away things she likes, but my daughter doesn't value material objects. Even though she has alot of them, she's ok with them being taken away. She doesn't really have play dates cuz everyone is far or too busy. What to do? What to do?!?

Erika - posted on 01/28/2010

Have you ever tried a family meeting? We used to have them allot. This is were we all sit in a circle we start by going around the circle and each person says one positive thing about everyone in the circle. Then we discuss things that are going good, things we would like to do and things that are not so good. We had rules like one person talks at a time. No answer was ever wrong or bad, No use of names ever. You could say I feel sad and I get angry when people are rude and talk back to me. You can not say Pam is always back talking me and I do not like it. Next you talk about how other people feel in the same situations eg has anyone ever made you feel bad when they talk to you. Next you all come up with solutions like soap in the mouth you always say good idea write it down my kids always came up with some crazy ideas like staple the lips shut ect... I would write them down then we would cross out the ones that we felt just were not right for our family like soap or staple and explain that it is illegal to staple a mouth shut. Normally the kids would come up with a great solution and even a concequence they thought was good. We would write it down all agree then sign the new agreement. Often this solved the problem and they would remind each other or I could say hey remeber what we decided about that and they would laugh and stop. It works great.

Keri - posted on 01/28/2010

Our 9 year old had started to become sassy so we instituted a checkmark system tied into her allowance. If she's tired or hungry I will usually give her a chance to correct it by saying I think you need a rewind. Otherwise she has to put a check under her name and on Saturday each check translates into a loss of 50 cents from her allowance. It has really worked well with all 3 of our kids (13,9 and 4). They also earn smiley faces for random acts of kindess so last week she had a raise in her allowance from her random acts and no disrespectfulness.She was gleeful!

Kerrie - posted on 01/28/2010

I have the same problem. my daughter is 8 and always wants the last word. I am also having problems with her at school. I'm near the end of my tether.

Denisa - posted on 01/28/2010

I really like your approach.....I think ignoring it from the beginning is the key, b/c if you listen and respond, it tells them that it is acceptable! We have a 6 year old daughter and she has her moments, but hopefully we still have it under the control, we will see.......good luck!

Toni - posted on 01/27/2010

My eight year old does it all the time. I take away what is most important to her. T.V or her DS or wont allow her to play outside with her friends. When she gets punished for the then of course she tells me I do it because I don't love her any more. I also have a 22 year old daughter so I have the confidence in knowing this shall pass with lots of patience. The teen years can be much worse.

Sara - posted on 01/27/2010

Have you asked why they think they can talk to you that way?? That is were I would start. Then teach them how to bite there tongue untill they can calmly say what they are feeling. It is a stage they all go through. Also stick to your guns. I have a nine yr old son and it don't get easier if you don't bite in the butt. When asked to do something like cleaning up and a smart remark comes out stop them and say they are not allowed to do it. Warn three times then punishment is my rule. I am also a stay at home mom with a hubby that travels. It is hard but you can do it too.

Nicola - posted on 01/27/2010

Ohh I hear what your saying. My 7 year old daughter is reaching new levels of talking back, followed by stubborness then to full emotional blackmail.. Seriously it's so hard to stay constant with trying to be rational. Does anyone know where the mute button Is ?

Amy - posted on 01/27/2010

My daughter who is 8 was just grounded this weekend for her smart mouth. She is a good kid who doesn't talk back much, but when her friends are around she seems to think she can talk to us however she wants. Our solution- she can't have friends over for a while.

Tracie - posted on 01/27/2010

On the few occasions that my 8 year old has "sassed" me, I respond to her the way I would if anyone talked to me like that. I raise my eyebrows and say, "I beg your pardon? What did you just say to me?" She NEVER repeats it and immediately apologizes. This is followed by, "Do we speak to each other that way in our family?" She answers, "No." Then I say something along the lines of, "That's right. And if you don't want me to start talking to you that way, then don't you talk to me that way."

I have always been swift and consistent with consequences (never hitting), so that definitely helps. She knows as soon as the words leave her mouth that she needs to apologize or there WILL be a consequence - guaranteed.

Sheri - posted on 01/27/2010

My Daughter is 7 and I know what you mean. We end up having yelling matches all the time. But I recently foung if I ignore her when she starts up she normally yells fine and stomps up the stairs to her room and then stays there for a few and comes and says sorry.

Rebecca - posted on 01/27/2010

I am new here but thought I would chime in... my daughter turned 8 in Nov. She has been 'talking back' for while and it comes in waves. usually we start with writing sentences of I will obey, I will be respectful about 25-50 times depending on her mood and more if the situation calls for it. I also take away play time with the girls who come over after school. She does not like that. Figure out the 'trigger' for your daughter and make that the punishment. Take away toys, priviledges, whatever will work in your household. Good luck

Danielle - posted on 01/26/2010

Yes. My daughter is almost 11 and she has been that way since I can remember. I think it comes with all the Drama they carry around also. lol I think like anything, the key is consistency. If she is disrespectful she get punished right away. If they get away with it once they will keep trying a thousand more times. One thing my kids didn't like doing was sentences. Once they got a little older it became paragraphs. Not just a couple pages either. It's also a good way for them to practice their writing skills.

Jenny - posted on 01/26/2010

I had a response earlier today that I take her toys away, I do that for other behaviors, so why not this one also? Im going to try it and see if it works, but its crazy!! She tells me Im a mean mom without a heart! It hurts my feeling, but I try not to take it personally, but still.

Vivian - posted on 01/26/2010

OMG!!! I guess we all have that problem, the attitude and the looks were becoming a habit until I said, I'm not going to take it anymore. We have had a chat with her and she knows that all her privileges will be taken away if she doesn't follow the 4 rules, 1. Obey the rules, respect your parents, listen the first time, and have respect for your things. If she doesn't do this then she has to write all the rules out on a piece of paper using both sides. I don't like to spank but will in some cases.

Kasey - posted on 01/26/2010

I have this problem with all three of my kids. My two girls are 6 (not twins), and my son is 4. He is following their lead, and I feel like I am going to go nuts. When they have issues with each other I put them on the buddy system so they can learn to work out their problems on their own. But, now that my husband works on the road all the time, they have turned on me. It has gone from "but, I don't want to" to just plain "no" when I tell them to do something. It took my girls about a week to clean their room, they expected that when they didn't do it, that I would clean up after them. But, mind you this is not a common practice in my home. My children have been taught to clean up their messes from the time the could make one. But, now that mommy "the good cop" is the only parent in the home the majority of the time, it has been constant chaos and button pushing. I wish you all the luck, but I honestly don't know if there is a right or wrong answer to dealing with the issue that we all are facing.

Lisa - posted on 01/25/2010

I have one of those too... My 6 turning 7 is SMART, I mean SMART.... She is a leader, not a follower. She does need constant reminders of manners though. She is always is trouble and grounded. I have pulled so many hairs and not enough greys. We have threatened military school.... Poor Kid!!!

Jenny - posted on 01/25/2010

I know how you feel! My daughter is 7 and talks back to me really bad also. And sometimes i feel like smaking her! But instead i take away a priviledge that she treasures. Than I talk to her and let her know how it makes me feel. She will apologize, but it happens alot. What have you tried with her?