Wendy - posted on 01/16/2011 ( 61 moms have responded )
i recently brought this up in a conversation about my daughter hitting me, but feel this deserves its own conversation. my daughter doesn't openly tell me that she wants to kill me, when i was 7, i would have these thoughts that made me feel horrible. thoughts such as: wonder woman was prettier than my mom, doubts about the easter bunny, etc...i felt bad for having them, worse for saying them outloud, yet, HAD to confess them to feel better. i didn't want my child going through that so, i explained to her about how thoughts-good & bad-can pop into our heads,its ok, happens to us all & to not feel bad about talking about it (even if the thought concerns me)-she can ALWAYS talk to me about it & will make her feel better & i've been there & will understand- its NORMAL. she seemed relieved & happy & told me she was going through that-yet, her thoughts were of killing me.when i am lecturing her, she wishes i would shut up, then, when i don't, she said she starts to think about killing me...not just mad or a way or putting HOW mad she is... she says she REALLY wants to kill me just so i will be quiet. was worried about telling me but was happy that i understood & it was ok. this talk w/ her happened about 9 mos. ago. we talked about it again tonight- i had hoped she would tell me she was mad at me somehow when she said this, but she remembers the talk well & said yes, she does think about killing me during those times- doesn't know 'specifics' or how, just knows she wants to kill me. i try to act like a therapist during this talk so she will know she can talk to me, but truth is, it kills me to hear this & i cry about it in private. how can she want to kill me?