8yr old son with ADHD, and his teacher.

Misty - posted on 11/23/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

14

19

My son has been dealing with ADHD since he was 2 or 3. I didn't take him to the doctor because he was working well, so they didn't know, but you could see he was not like the other kids, bouncing off every wall. Once in school he was a hand full, but again he was doing good, all A's, so I refused to medicate him. Second grade it became a problem with grades, he was failing in the fourth week of school. So went to the doctor, now on Adderal XR and doing good, have had it raised a couple of times, but at 25mg now, which is not high at all. He is also bi polar.

His third grade teacher now thinks she knows it all about kids like my son. Says she has had kids with adhd and bi polar and they are nothing like Kyle... Hello he is not like everyone else, no one is. Both his disorders aggravate each other, so when his mood is not level his adhd is not level. So its not easy on this baby to have all these issues at 8. She said he needs to understand how to deal with it, and that his "medication only goes ----- far, and his brain has to go ------------------- far. Grrr that makes me so mad, if he could turn it off he would.

He is not old enough to know all the ways to cope with all this, he is still a kid. He looks around the room she say she is cheating... no he is making sure everyone else is doing what he is doing, and if not, he wants to know why... he talks alot to other people and rushes through his work... HELLO adhd, meds are not a cure. He gets loud and runs ... AHDA... he has a very high impulse level, that could cause a lot of trouble when he is older. He lives in the minute not able to see one minute ahead... example run back infront of the bus to grab him hat he dropped, while I am screaming for him to stop and the bus drive, luckily watches for him to make it across before moving, he said mom I'm sorry to make you cry, but I didn't want people to run over my hat, unaware he could of been run over.... He knows now not to do that, but at any time he could "forget" and do it anyway. I am not able to cross every bridge so he knows what to do, the impulses make that very hard.

This teacher has gone to the point she wants to talk about changing the meds, upping them, change what time he takes them etc... even said someone isn't taking his meds, ask him at school if he took them... come on, she has her nose to far up his butt. I told her point blank, she is not a MD, and I will take these issues up with his doctor!!! she doesn't seem to like that much, teacher conf. she rushed through it and brushed off a lot that was said, like its her way or no way. Mind you his grades are great, some B's but its harder work... I can't ask for more out of him, he is doing his best. I don't think she wants to deal with him at all, and would like to see him highly medicated to stop him from doing anything but what she wants, I don't want a robot, I want Kyle....

What do all of you think????

Thanks
Mis

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

8 Comments

View replies by

Barbara - posted on 02/10/2012

7

0

AMEN Sometimes the teachers are boardline abusive when it comes to these children. I am going to meet with the teacher next week. She stated that my son told her his medicine started wearing off after lunch and he is using this as a excuse. I had just sent her a email telling her that we have been having trouble with his medicine. Which part did she not understand. He comes home upset and tells me that we need to double his medicine but his size and weight we can't do it. I just feel like crying, these poor children really need people to understand what their little bodies are going through. Its not their faults.

Tina - posted on 11/28/2009

6

20

only you yourself knows what is best your his mom your the one raising him not the teacher or anyone else you do what you think is right, my son is 8 and he does all the same stuff its what 8 year olds do and teachers need to learn how to deal with it not medicate every single kid they can't keep under control...

Misty - posted on 11/28/2009

14

19

I understand the teachers can see things I don't get to see and their input is very important... However.. this teacher acts different when she is around him, compared to when she sends me a letter etc. In a letter it will be he is out of control etc, but face to face with me and my son, she says he is doing very well, and just keep up the good work... so which is it?? She is not just being nice in front of him, she has said things I would not of said in front of my son, just for the fact he gets upset if you are not happy with him.
All of Kyle's teachers have had input on him in school, and everyone of them was helpful, no one ever stepped over the line. It fills like she would be happier if I just gave him to her to do as she wishes. She is a teacher, not a doctor, and I will not take medical advise from her, I talked to the doctor about what she had said, and he didn't feel he needed to change meds. because they are working to help keep things in control..
Kyle is 8yrs old, third grade... and it's to much to think he is going to giggle, talk, stand up in class, most kids around that age do things like that. Kyle will copy what others do, but he is a good kid, he tries and thats all I will ask of him, I help him to deal with bi polar and adhd. I have talked to doctors about therapy, classes etc. they have ALL said there is only so much you can get out of those and that I am doing a great job with him. So I am sorry Angie if I offended you, I do feel like the teacher is just shy of picking on him, he is not like all the other kids with his disorders, he is his own person, and I will not try to mask that to make a teacher happy.

Sorry April, I am not going to stop the meds either. I have seen him without them and no one with a heart would stand and say no, I will not give you meds to make your brain stop turning around and around, or allow you to slow down so you can calm down...

I appreciate everyones advice and even thought I don't agree with all of it that everyone has said, I do appreciate everything said!! Thanks you all!!!!

April - posted on 11/26/2009

10

17

my husband as a child is adhd and still is to this day...there is bi polar in his family but he dosnt have it...stop the meds for adhd they are doing no good....go to a good specialist that deals with bi polar and just have him on those meds....find social networks that help children deal with bi polar and different activities that may help him..adhd will be less of a notice and he will begin to deal with bi polar...he will have bi polar for the rest of his life but like my husband wwhen all those meds were gone it opened his eyes and woke up as they say.

Nim - posted on 11/26/2009

3

14

My son has twin with AHDA in his class, and they are a handful. The mother looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown everytime I see her. She is very lucky b/c they have a lived in nanny to help out at him. At the school, everyone is very supportive and understanding. The kids in the class is aware of their condition and had been encouraged to be supportive. In the classroom, the school have a very patience and loving teacher assistance who provides an extra helping hands. They boys would be taken out of the class to calm down whenever they disrupt the class.

My advice to you is to speak to the school and see if extra support can be provided to your son in class, this will take the stress away from the teacher and therefore less troublesome for you. Whatever path you take, you are correct to keep the medication to a minimum, pills are NOT the solution to every problem.

Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself too. Good Luck.

Tina - posted on 11/25/2009

6

20

I have an 8 year old and I just went to conferences monday and the teacher told me my son had a.d.d and that i needed to take him to the doctor that he is out of hand i took him to the doctor on tuesday and the doctor did think he needed the meds so we put him on ridilan. I know my son has a problem but its not bad enough where i can't deal with it at home i feel bad for medicating but he is completely failing I totally think you are doing the right thing you as his mom is the only person that knows your son best and i think you should do what you feel is best for him. I think that these days teachers just don't want to deal with kids like they should so they push the meds more then they should. I don't totally agree with the decision the doctor made with my son but i don't want to be closed minded so i'm giving it a try, today was his first day on the meds and he is already doing so so good... Have you tried taking him to a behavriol therapist? I heard they can help alot? Just don't think your the only one going threw this because so many parents are its almost like its the easy way out for the teachers which is sad...

Angie - posted on 11/25/2009

2,621

0

No, actually the teacher does not have "her nose to (sic) far up his butt". He is not her only responsibility. She has a classroom of children to teach and if your child not taking his medication keeps her from doing that it is not fair to other children or to your son, for that matter. She is exactly who you want to listen to. Of course, she cannot change his medication but she can give you a lot of feedback on how the meds are working. Understand that she has had a lot of education and has taught a lot of children, her opinion is important in monitoring the effectiveness of his medication. I always feel rushed through parent teacher conferences too. Teachers do this on their own time and are away from their families on these evenings so I don't mind. You have already told her that her professional opinion isn't important to you so there probably wasn't much else to say.

Marie - posted on 11/25/2009

2

10

I think you are doing the right thing. Stay strong and if the teacher doesn't back off inform the Education Department that one of their teaches are being neglegent by giving medical advise on the dosage of pescription drugs. My youngest son is also has adhd and I have tried waiting and hoping he will grow out of it but he hasnt I have known since he was 3 & Im about to look into starting him on medication as he just doesnt seem to be getting anywhere in school. If your son is getting good grades and you think his meds are fine try changing teacher, threaten principal with Dep of Ed or that you will remove your child from their school if the situation continues or if you can bare it remember not long to next year and that means another teacher.