9yr olds behavior....normal or not??

Candyce - posted on 03/20/2013

I am curious to see how he acts now that it's 2 years later. I like to use the word typical instead of normal. No one is exactly normal...lol! I think this little boy had typical behavior for a nine year old. Maybe he needs a little extra attention, but I do agree that he needed to have some power or regenerate his energy. Redirecting the behavior to something else is hopeful because he does need to know that it is not ok to act like that when company comes over reguardless if he needs to regenerate his energy. There are ways to redirect rather than punish. Punishing is not the answer for this one!

Blossom - posted on 02/09/2011

My 9 year old is the same. I've tried many things that at this point i just tell him if your gonna act like that do it in your room or outside. some times it takes a little swat on his behind for him to get the point. The best i can suggest put him in sports at the local boys and girls club to help him focus his energy. what i did once in public acted just like him and he got embarassed. so now he doesnt do it in public but he still does it at home,

Kim - posted on 01/12/2011

My son is 10 and is the same way. He can be calm and sitting on the couch watching tv, but if a visitor comes over or even a maintenance worker he has to be right in the middle of the conversation or doing something outrageous for the attention.

Kelly - posted on 01/12/2011

I appreciate all the feed back mom's ....Thanks so much.

I will look for the book Hillary....great suggestion thank you. Also I really like the idea of a "code word" Angie, what a great idea!!

It's comforting to know there are others out there dealing with the same issues.

Hillary - posted on 01/12/2011

Although I agree with a lot of what has been said here, this is normal for a 9 year old, I disagree with it being an attention getter. I would recommend a book called "Raising your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. She talks about how different people recharge their "energy" stores. It could be that your son is an external recharger and requires the contact from other people to keep him charged. My 8 year old is the same way, noise effects, annoying sounds, weird noises, lashing out physically and noisily and constantly interrupts when other people are around. But after reading this book I realize he isn't just starving for my attention, he literally NEEDS to be allowed to talk, touch and be near other people to keep his energy stores up. Once we figured that out we would allow him to be the first to talk to company and "recharge". He answers the phone so he can "recharge". I can now have company over and hold a conversation without him interrupting all the time. It wears out the energy stores of kids/people who need that contact with other people when they are forced to be alone. Anyway, the book can explain it better than I can..lol. But I can honestly say it has changed my household. Even parents whose kids aren't spirited (I have 2 spirited and 2 not spirited) can benefit from the book. I hope that helps and he sounds totally normal for a 9 year old!

Candy - posted on 01/12/2011

He sounds normal to me. You need to pick a puishment and stick to it. No matter where you are or what you are doing he will get punished for this behavior. Right now he thinks he can get away with it when other people are around. Even if you dont think the punishment is working IT IS. He is trying to see if you will change it or not do it the next time. It will take time and strong will on your part to break this bad habit.

Gina - posted on 01/12/2011

Mine is the same, they can help some if it, they just need to be encouraged to "choose" to behave better, perfect is a big stretch but calmer and normal is a good choice. I find when my 2 boys are together it is worse, they turn into raving animals at times.

And lucky me I have 3 boys, my youngest is 7 months so I still have some blissful time until he turns into a little monster. lol

Kat - posted on 01/11/2011

Hi Kelly,
you're not alone. My nine year old grandson does the same thing -- acting out for attention. He interrupts adult conersations and tries to take part in them. My daughter verbally corrects the behaviour with, "Tyler we are having a private conversation, go play with your brothers." She recognizes this attention getting behaviour and knows this is a very annoying stage of development. It's often difficult to ignore the behaviour, so verbal cues have to be consistant and non-punishment. Give praise for acceptable behaviour when it occurs and unconditional love always. As long as he is not hurting anyone physically or verbally, just develope a "game face" to strangers who might want to inquire. I have a friend who made google-eyes at people when her child acted out ... it was funny and took the ttention away from the childs behaviour for the moment.

Angie - posted on 01/11/2011

Some kids are just like this. Mine are very quiet and don't like anyone to look at them. I have a nephew who is exactly the same. When he was your son's age it was kinda cute but now he's 15 and it's annoying and I'm often embarrased for him because people think the behavior is odd. I'm not sure how to stop it but not encouraging it is a start. He's getting old enough for you to be blunt. When we go into this party, you need to mind your manners. Don't make odd noises or pretend to be an animal. Some grown-ups don't have as good a sense of humor as you have. You could try a code word. When his behavior is inappropriate, use the code word. When my children weren't listening to me in public, I'd use the word purple and they stopped immediately. Now that my children are older, if I say something to embarrase them they touch the side of their nose and I stop. Good luck.....